Roit, I like my little counter thingie wossname and I like the little chat room... and I want to keep it and I'm certain the eye melting yellow is doing nothing to illicit people to stay... SO...
Help me get rid of it... for good...

Click on the Google ads on the side, every click ads to my piggy bank. You dont have to do anything other than click on it every time you're here... So be a good sport and help our eyesight.

Dinner at the 'rents was great until one of the BSE twins showed up. Only other time I've been in her presence was at the wedding of the parents. But I didn't really hear her speak. O M G Her voice is worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. *shudder* And if she's not the centre of attention, she goes to talk to someone else to pay attention to her.
Then she was pissed off that her father's cake had coconut in it and _she_ doesn't like coconut.
She apparently told her mother that she didn't like the tone of email that my mother sent her with respect for the invitation for cake. And she didn't bother to buy him a gift either. And the other BSE twin that wasn't invited at all sent a gift... tickets to Yuk Yuk's for Dave Coulier's show ... when ma and pa are going to be in Dominica. So guess who is going to Yuk's.

And in other news... Granny is back in the hospital this morning. She has a bone infection and as well, the wire they put in her elbow isn't sitting properly and they will have to operate again.

Why is it that Haloscan does this terrific stuff with commenting and then just fuck it all up...

The gravatars seem to be pooched and no one's email shows.

Another night of fallin rain
Your memory flickers like a flame
It echoes like a distant tune
Dances on the four walls of my room...

Where are you now?
If only somehow
The night could disappear and
I could have you here..

And I am going to bed early, gnight.

When you're up til 445am, you do weird things to your blog...
I apologise to anyone if this appears upside down or sideways again before I get to fix it....
If I can't fix it, it will forever remain upside down. *beam*

Me n HTML are not friends. We suffered through a bitter divorce in the 90s when it ate all my photos from Europe in a bad editor-editor discussion. My lawyer is still in therapy.

I added the co ordinates for GeoURL ages ago and completely forgot until I saw that someone had come from that website to here earlier this evening. So I went exploring. (that in part should explain why I am _still_ here at 445am). So on their website it lists me and many other folks as living near Forest Lawn.
For those that have no clue about Calgary, Forest Lawn has to be the nastiest part of the city. Lots of crime, scary scary scary bars, and basically you don't walk around there at night without a gun if you want to make it out alive. I live MILES, I mean MILES away from Forest Lawn. Its at least a 15 min drive when there is no traffic to Forest Lawn. I wonder if I can email the administrator and get him to redo his marker to be somewhere else cause being "near Forest Lawn" just isn't cool.

And with that, I bid you g'night, g'morning... whatever. I work in just over 5 hrs and I think a nap is in order.

I have Cricket Syndrome again....

I have to work in less than 7 hrs and I'm wide freakin awake....
I have caught up on emails. I have written a letter. I have played cards. I have caught up on a friend's online baby photo album. I have checked the regular blogs.

I went out this evening with my friends and we ended up at the casino briefly. While we're there, a woman has a seizure right in front of us. Being Certified First Aid and CPR, I have to help. So I get someone calling 911 and I get everything out of her way and get her on her side, coat under her head. Quick seizure and she seemed to come out ok. But what bothered me the most is that everyone just stood there and stared. Not one person did anything aside from myself and my friends. No one offered us any assistance. Not that we needed any, we had it under control, but still...
We couldn't find her purse, or if she indeed had one. All we found was her coat. Couldn't find ID, and it didn't appear she came with anyone. EMS took her to the hospital and she seems to be ok.
Thats all thats eventful for me... damn, I lead an exciting life :(

Today had to be the most uneventful day in weeks. I had the day off and I did sweet fuck all... I played on the computer, I worked on a birthday gift that is about 90% completed, I watched some tv, went to the store, washed my car, a couple loads of laundry, the Kid(tm) was with her dad and his friends for the evening.. I did nothing really.

I did however pop the seal on my tire last night on the way home from work so I did have to pump it up to make it to the store. I checked it a bit ago and its low again so I guess I need to get it repaired tomorrow. Thank Fish for portable mini air compressors.

And now Haloscan is on crack and I can't leave comments and I can't login to their website either... I don't like SQL and I think their SQL server went TU without a hall pass.

Am I whinging now?

And the puberty stall tactics of today... "Well, I'm done my homework and its nearly 1030, and I hope the teacher doesn't mind that its only two paragraphs on each..." and various other bits of small talk when one should be on their way to pjs, brushing of teeth and the bed, not lounging on the office door frame.
OH! and the pillow configuration....
"What was the problem with the pillows?"
"Oh there were too many?"
"Have we gotten rid of a few?"
"Yeah, I slept in my bed last night, sheesh."

If I make it through puberty with my daughter, it will be a freakin miracle.
She has decided she doesn't like her bed. The loft bed I spent a few hundred dollars on at Ikea. The one that was the most awesome thing she had ever had. She has taken to sleeping on the floor at the doorway of her bedroom.
So last night I got mad when she started to go the couch to sleep. I said "Not on a school night! Bed" Her father says "She hates her bed." I said "I don't care if she hates her bed, I don't have several hundred dollars to replace it with something else and she can suck it up. She's just being lazy." (she doesn't like to climb the ladder, not that she's scared to climb it, just being lazy)
20 minutes later she yells "goodnight" for the 9th time so I go to talk to her. "I'm sorry you don't like your bed but I can't do anything about that right now."
"Its ok mom, its how the pillows were arranged, its all good now."

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

This war has been going on for weeks and its that simple?? I doubt it.
But she's trying to manipulate her father for something....

I swear I wasn't this horrible at 12...

For Deanna's birthday, she wanted to go out tonight (Tuesday night) so off we went. Bar hopping on Tuesday night... in search of a wing night somewhere... 4 bars... at the end, we ended up at her local playing pool. We decided to try our luck on the VLTs. We agreed.. each put in $20 and split the winnings. She came out on the good end of this stick. I won just shy of $400... she won nada. And I think I saw every quadrant of this city in our search for wings.
On our drive, we pulled up beside an Escalade with a dvd going in the back and realized it was a porn movie they were watching. A very expensive truck with tinted windows, full of men watching porn. We hit every red light going through downtown. It was rather amusing because I don't think they realized that at night, tinted windows aren't exactly dark when you have light shining from within. Or perhaps they did, and got off on the fact that two chicks were watching from the little sports car beside them.

Chris asked a question so I figured I'd answer here rather than in Haloscan...
The question was...
"I have a few , sell slightly crude questions. natural, trimmed or clean shaven? ever engaged in cybersex? Favorite position? thanks"

At the moment, I am clean shaven. However as answered in my 100 things about me list, I'm not fussed either way. In my opinion, since it ain't me going bushwhacking, its my partners preference that is more important... BUT, you want clean shaven, here's the razor and shaving creme, but if you cut me, I cut you off.
Yes, I have.
And I don't have one. They're all good. Sounds like a cop out answer I know, but honestly, they're all very good to me. I'd be just as happy groping on the couch like teenagers. Ok ok, the first one that came to mind when trying to answer this would be from behind.

And for the oddities of my blogging days... someone goggled "how to get insurance car titleless". Ummmm... I realize I have been ranting and raving about the shit I have gone through with the stupid-car-I-do-not-own-anymore, unless "Motor Vehicle Services" counts... it is Google after all. And I know that I'm tired, but when I first read it, I swear that it said that the car was titless. She was a good car, and she had a bra... but I hope to god she was titless... only room for one set of breasts here.

3am again and I'm wide awake. I think I have Cricket Syndrome.

I'm on hold for someone, but I can't remember who put me on hold....
And this phone doesn't have a display to see who called who... bad sign when you forget who you're calling because you've been on hold so long.

Be proud of me, even if it is a golf clap.

I told Devin off once and for all.

I had offered to drive up to Fort Mac with him as its a fucking long drive and even longer alone and then I'd fly back that night. When I first offered, he was grateful. "That would be awesome, thanks!"
Then he waffled on it.."This is something I need to do alone, I'm scared shitless of doing this, but the drive will give me some perspective."
Then he said "That would good actually, because I have to go straight to work and I need to rest."
Then when I call to work out details, he's vague and being an arse.

The conversation then abruptly turns angry on my part and goes like this:

Me: "I'm tired of you treating me this way."
Him: "Like what?" in a very defensive way
Me: "One minute I'm wonderful, perfect and you're proposing to me and the next minute I'm treated like an annoyance that you can't wait to get rid of. So I'm going to go and be wonderful somewhere else."
And I hung up.
This time it didn't hurt, I didn't cry, and I actually feel relieved. Which means it was a good thing right?

Sitting down this evening with the ex to sort some stuff out agenda wise for the next little bit as he has to do some travelling for work over the next month and some family stuff on my side has come up that needs to be done...
I went looking for a calendar that I could post in here but I got lost in code and decided to fuck it and you get the longhand version of this crazy chaos.

Feb 23 - Deanna's birthday
Feb 24 - Stepdad's birthday
Feb 26 - Jake arrives to go skiing in Banff (see archives for who this is)
Feb 27 - Dinner at the 'rents for the stepdad's birthday
Mar 2 - Banff for the day with Jake to make him drink Real Beer(tm).
Mar 5 - Jake leaves.
Mar 5-6 - overnight, my daughter's birthday party (12 prepubescent girls in my basement with movies, junkfood, the game cube, karoake machine and soft drinks... anyone wanna come over and save me?)
Mar 6 - dinner at my house with the 'rents and my step sister for my daugher's birthday
Mar 7 - drive the 'rents to the airport as they're going to Dominica for a month and pick up their dog, Freckles the damnation.. I mean dalmation
Mar 8 - the daughter's actual birthday, dinner out with her and the ex
Mar 12 - company function requiring formal wear and a hotel room for the drunk employee (ME!)
Mar 13 - take ex to airport, Jake's birthday
Mar 18 - Devin's birthday, pick ex up at the airport
Mar 23 - daughter and ex go to Sascratchyerbum for Easter with his family
Mar 26 - they return
Mar 27 - the 'rents come back from Dominica and get their damn dog back and my holidays commence til April 10th
Mar 28 - the daughter and I go to Ottawa to see my sister and Granny
April 1 - we return from Ottawa
April 2 - I'm flying away somewhere and perhaps never returning because the previous thirty one days have fucking killed me.
April 11 - back to work and some semblence of normalacy.

So if you wish to talk to me, please make an appointment with my secretary (that would be Haloscan, email, msn, yahoo, or my voice mail). Should your appointment conflict with anything previously mentioned and you make the offer good enough (wine, massage, uninterupted sleep, sex), I may cancel something just for you. :-)

... the Vagina Institute, my vagina is rated 89 points. I am not sure that I ever want some guy rating my vagina on a points scale though.

Well since you people suck ;-) (j/k) and only Chaz asked, this is going to be easy. I guess I got off lightly compared to Joe and Cricket. I'm boycotting the deadline because I got tired of waiting for more questions.

I regret nothing. Everything that I have done has shaped me into the person I am. Valuable lessons learnt, some repeated again just because they were fun, but really, honestly and truly, I regret nothing.

Disappointments are a different matter completely. Would I have liked outcomes to be different on some things? Abso-fucking-lutely. So those couple of things, I will babble on about.

I am disappointed that things did not work out between First Lee and I. More than I could express. If I had not risked everything to go and meet him way back when and give up my life to live there with him, that I would have regretted. But I took the risk and the chance so that I could not look back and say "What if?" or "I wonder what would have...". Life, distance, his failing marriage, the fact that mine was barely over and time zones made this relationship fail and strong in the same breath. The time we spent yapping online or on the phone... the 9 emails a day, the phone bills (I think I may still be financially recovering from those jeebus), knowing him inside out before face to face... to have face to face be exactly the same, to have life with him exactly the same.... to lose it all because of 5000 miles and the impossibility of a quick call to say "Hey, lets go for a walk, meet you in 10 mins" is what killed it. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

I'm disappointed in myself in that I have this stupid way of getting involved with the wrong men and that I can't figure out before it is too late that I'm the one to get burnt. Mr Government Employee and I had something good once, and he ran like a chicken shit when it was getting more serious (Christmas 2003) and then came back a couple of times with his tail between his legs apologising. Yes yes I am a glutton for punishment and I give too many chances. But as I explained to him, that there was no pressure from me. He travels 200 days a year and has residences in 3 cities, but I wasn't interested in being some chick in a harbour when he docked for a couple of days.

Or like Devin, who can't seem to decide what he wants from me and I let him continue.


I think perhaps the only regret would be the day after tying one on with copious amounts of alcohol and waking up with your face stuck to the pillow and unsure of exactly how you got into bed and who exactly removed your clothes because you are alone and can't recall shit. You know the kind of toasted I mean... the ones where you're yelling "I love you man!" at the new friend you've made at the bar waiting for drinks who is just as wasted as you are, and at some point between intoxicated and falling down stupid assed drunk you say to your best friend "Holy fuck, I am sooooo gonna regret this tomorrow."

K, there have been lots of you here... lots...

And not one question? wow...

So much for that idea

Joe started it and I think everyone else got on the bandwagon, so I decided to wait a couple of days and add a new twist....


Via comments, ask me anything you want to know about me. Anything. My twist... rather than making it an all day posting session (since my work sched this weekend is NOT going to allow for it), I give the deadline of 2359 MST (-7 GMT, +1 PST, -2 EST) Sunday night. At which time, all questions will be answered for Monday's post.

Ask as many questions as you want, make sure the answer is not presently available within my blog or archives ('cause whats the point?) and the answer to what am I doing this weekend? Working. And working some more. And the answer to the Meaning of Life... 42. Or plaid. Depends how much I've had to drink at the time when you ask.

Roit, I will leave you to it. Don't disappoint me.

...today wasn't all that bad at all. In fact, I quite enjoyed it.

Now before all the naysayers yell at me for being a dumbass, read the rest of this before you yell at me :-)
Devin called on Tuesday after he got laid off wanting to shoot the shit. We talked several times that night because he kept forgetting to tell me things and would call back. The last call was at about 10pm and he was quite drunk. He has decided he is going to go to Fort McMurray (buttfuck Alberta) and work the seismic camps up there. Its incredible money (2 grand a week clear) but there are alot of draw backs to being in a very isolated camp for 5 weeks at a time. So we discussed it as rationally as you can with a drunk, and I reminded him how important to him his family is. With that, he laughs and asks me again to marry him. To which I replied "If I thought you would mean that when you're sober tomorrow, we would have set a date already."
So then he calls me again Wed morning after he has gone to an interview that he walked out of (eeeeh??) and then went and wrote safety tests to go to the camps. Come for dinner he says, I haven't seen you in ages.
Fine, I figure what harm...
I just got home.... 30 hrs later.
Now, here I would have thought that he would have tried something, as he usually does. Instead, when we're curled up in bed talking, he says more to himself than me... "I'm such a dumbass, I have a beautiful naked woman in my bed (yes I sleep naked, regardless) and I'm leaving her behind... Im an idiot."
There were sooooo many things I could have said, but instead I rolled over and cuddled with Zappa (the dog) who makes an excellent footwarmer :-)
When I woke up this morning, he had over slept the alarm despite him hitting snooze every 9 mins since 710am and I finally crawled out of bed at 930 and turned it off. I left at 1030 to go to work and he was still in bed. He needed to call in to list himself to go to camp between 730 and 830 and he didn't do it. His loss... But I did leave him a fresh pot of coffee.
Work was good, however Calgary Airport Authority Security are doing contract negotiations tomorrow and anticipate that they will be on work-to-rule starting at 0900... fabulous, great, wonderful. So I spent most of my evening calling folks telling them to be at least 2 hrs prior to flight... was fabulous.
Now, since its 9pm, I require fewd... off to forage and then to sleep since I didn't sleep all that well with Zappa snoring.

First, sorry about the colour change but someone has advised me that they don't like my green... so I will accomodate til someone else bitches ;-)

This post won't be as entertaining to some but if you've been curious... here is your update.

The registered letter from the city arrived yesterday.

The local tv consumer watch reporter is interested in doing my story.

My MLA (member of the legislative assembly) for the Provincial Government is aware of the problem and now so is the Minister of Government Services which oversees car registries and so is my city Alderman.

I sent off a letter to the minister's office and this is the reply I received from his assistant:

Hi Kristin
The Minister prefers to answer in writing ... would U mind giving us your mailing address and postal code, please ?
Thanks
We'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Regards
W.K.

I'm fine with that he wants to answer in writing - I'm going to assume that's hard copy... but whats with the 'would U mind' bit and signing it with initials???
How unprofessional.
Spiffy suggested that I reply in hard copy recommending his staff use appropriate language in correspondence. ;-)

I'll let ya know when we're gonna air with the interview with respect to the consumer watch bit :-)

Now back to regularly scheduled blogging...

As promised way back when, here is my 'Oh Shit' moment.

When I was in school in Toronto doing my degree, I lived with my boyfriend (David) who had already graduated uni and was in the land of the working. David had a grueling Monday-Thursday schedule, but Fridays, he would take off early to make up for it... usually Friday was "date night" or out with friends or something. My Fridays at school were short but early (730am arts&crafts wheeee). This particular Friday, I decided to surprise David as we had made no plans. I beat him home that afternoon and got things sorted for dinner and set the mood for my surprise. Now bearing in mind that I finished school at 130 and was generally home before 3 and David by 330, that didn't give me alot of time.
325ish I have the candles lit, curtains across the balcony door drawn, dinner in the oven and I'm nekkid and handcuffed to the coffee table.
4pm No David, dinner sizzling away.
430 No David, I need to pee.
5pm Phone rings, message on machine "Hi honey, where are you? A few of us are at the Hose & Hydrant, come down when you get this."
545 Phone rings, message on machine "Hi honey? Are you ok? Where are you?"
615 Damnit I need to pee
645 Phone rings, message on machine "Honey, I'm getting worried. Don't come here when you get these, we'll be there in a bit."
720'ish I really freakin need to pee
730'ish I hear voices in the hallway outside the apartment door and I start yelling not to open the door...
Door opens and there stands David and several of our friends who all stop dead in their tracks and stare. David politely ushers them into the kitchen and comes and rescues me. I ran full bore to the bathroom and David follows me "Are you ok?" "I just need to pee" "Are you sure you're ok?" "I'm fine, I just need to pee"
So I gather my composure, throw on a bathrobe and come out to join the party. Silence greets me as I walk in the room followed by nudges and giggles. I gather up my gumption and whip open the bathrobe and announce "This is your last chance, take a good look" and then tied it back on and that ended the giggles. Did not end my mortification for many years, however.. I now can laugh about it.

Now for the mood-wrecking-moment...

When my marriage was in the toilet and we were trying to fix it, we were rather experimental sexually (well he was, it was nothing new to me). He decided to surprise me one afternoon when our daughter was at grandma's. Blindfolded, I was lead to the kitchen and laid out on the kitchen table. I hear drawers opening, cupboards slamming, but I had no idea. Now bearing in mind there are not many foods I dislike, but oysters and honey are two things I despise ew yech gross....
While I was lying there, he had coated his penis in honey little to my knowledge. However, a little too much. This was way above anything he would have ever tried before, so kudos for the effort, but his effort... well, lets say that it made the floor rather slippery and he slid across the lino and fell...
So I ask (cause I can't see) what happened and he tells me... so I start laughing....laughing so hard that I rolled off the table.
So much for that moment.

My pre-apologies if I offend anyone...

So watching the American feed of the news this evening, 75% of polled Americans think that Charles should abdicate the throne because he's marrying Rottie. Hold the phone... the monarchy does not affect the Americans so why would you poll them? Oh right, I forgot, they are the centre of the universe and need to speak out about things that have nothing to do with them. No one asked me, a member of the Commonwealth if I cared. Not that I do, but.. hey, I have the right to voice that as a member of the Commonwealth. At least when they poll Canadians about Bush there is a reasonable right for them to answer the poll since we share a border.

I was going to continue the lyrics posting week trend, but everything I listened to that said something to me was going to be misinterpreted by people as something along the lines of me being depressed or going off the deepend.
I am not depressed, I am not sad, I am not lonely and upset... I just happen to like songs that may seem a little blah.
So perhaps with that disclaimer I give you a glimpse of a song that is playing now...

"I know its true
You'd never do the same thing to me
I never meant to make you cry
And I know I shouldn't call
It just reminds of the cost
Of everything we've lost
Bad timing thats all
And maybe soon there'll come a day
When no more tears will fall
We each forgive a little bit
And we both look back on it
As bad timing thats all"

I've always listened to this song when things go bad and remind myself that everything has a time and a place and if it doesn't work, it's bad timing for that person to have been in my life. Not that they shouldn't have been there.

I've had plenty of discussions about kismet, karma and that other bitch fate, and there is always a reason for each and every person that enters our lives... just as to what that reason is, is not always clear right away.

There's a new friend that I've made recently. I'm quite pleased that I've met this person. Just as always, its not clear as to why they are here just yet, but I'm grateful they are. Meeting someone and learning about them is always the exciting part of the beginning of a friendship, but I am getting the impression that since we're both onions, it will be a good long time before we find the core and thats a good thing.

Knowing that of course we all live in the land of ice and snow, here's what we can pretend phone sex in Canada might be like...

"What are you wearing?" he asks.
"A parka, sweater, two shirts, and a slip."
"Is the slip flannel?" he breathlessly asks.
"You know it big boy. Straight out of the Hudson Bay catalogue. It is bright red and wooly and buttons straight up to the neck."
"What do you have underneath it?" he drools.
"Nothing at all - except an old cotton t-shirt. Oh dear", she teases, "somehow my scarf has come undone and fallen all the way to my boots."
"Are they the big brown boots that you use to shove the walk?" He has to loosen his own collar.
"Thats right", she purrs, "The ones with the salt stains."
"Are you wearing longjohns?"
"Two pairs, plus the red and white hockey socks you gave me last Valentine's Day. And over all of this, my big brown snow pants that I wear to walk the dog."
"Is your hair up or down?" He bit his lip.
"Just the way you like it, under my Calgary Flames toque!"
"I'm running my mittens through it right now." he whispers.
"Maybe I should put some earmuffs on too." she teases again.
Somethings are just too much for a man.
"I'll be right home. Send the kids to the neighbours, turn up the thermostat and shove the sidewalk!"

*shamelessly plagerized from the Calgary Sun

Treasures arrived today from the toy party... if I don't report in for a few days, I am preoccupied.

I will already comment on the Honey Dust...tangerine and cream. Tastes and smells delicious. Any volunteers?

A couple of days ago, I posted about the woes I was having with the tradein car... I will elaborate more here because it has come to a head (no not THAT kind).

I contacted the impound lot on Wednesday asking them for something to indicate that we were now no longer responsible for this car and anything that happened with it. Had I not, I would have been very unpleasantly surprised in a few days when a registered letter arrived.....

According to the laws in Alberta, there is no one that is required to report a vehicle that is going to the scrap yard. There is no obligation for anyone to tell the Motor Vehicle Registry "Nope, can't register that VIN, its been marked for scrap." Insurance companies do when a car is deemed unsafe, unrepairable or written off.. but they do not have to.
So, when I sold the car to Concept Kia, my responsibility in theory should end. However, they did not resell it for the purposes of it being a driveable car. They did, however, sell it to a wrecker. That car would never be registered and the VIN destroyed. But it was stolen before that could happen. And in theory, I don't know that they did sell it. I have no "knowledge of that". So, until that VIN is re registered to another set of licence plates, I am the last registered owner. So that makes me responsible. Ok, I get that. It doesn't make sense when there is a new owner that should be when it can be proven, but thats part of the law.
After all the time at the impound lot, the car has incurred quite a few dollars worth of impound fees... and the impound lot has the right to report to Alberta Justice that these fees are owing. And Alberta Justice can tag them to my address and my new plates. When I go to renew, there they will be. I can prove I don't own the car, but that doesn't remove the hassle. The plates are being renewed for 2 yrs on Monday so that we can buy some time but that doesn't mean that I won't have to deal with it in 2 yrs time.

The impound lot is going to send me a registered letter in a few days which will tell me what they're going to do with the car. THEN they can change the information for the mailing address only (not the registered owner, just the mailing address) to the wrecker guy and then he gets a registered letter (all the while, impound fees are adding up) and then 30 days later he gets a courtesy call. BUT they can't hold his hand to pay up. But they can hold this over my head instead. EVEN tho they have proof that he is the new owner. ARGH

Someone said to me today that I'm being hosed here... and I thought to myself maybe.. so I double checked how many people I've asked the questions to and how they may or may not be tied together and realized that I'm not... only by the government and you get hosed by them daily, but between the city government, a locally owned and operated registry service and a provincial government offical all telling me the same thing.. and the cops too, no one is feeding me a line of BS, but that still doesn't help getting me out of the middle.

I called my lawyer. She says that if we cannot successfully get ourselves OUT of the middle before it reports to Alberta Justice, to sue Concept Kia. Mom and I take a little trip to Concept Kia this evening to speak to the general manager, Don. We decide in the car that I am going to into this irrate and mad (not that thats a new idea since I'm seething) and she's gonna play good cop and rational person (thats not a new idea either as she's been helping me all the way along with where to go next).
We sit down with Don and he asks me what he can do for me, and I start literally shaking and I told him "Look, I'm so mad I'm shaking. Get me out of the middle of this crap with the Shadow, Don, I'm mad as hell and the responsibility as far as I'm concerned solely rests with Concept Kia. What happened after we drove off the lot with the car is your problem, not mine. I don't care what you have to do, if that means you get your business associate to register the car with you paying the impound fees on his behalf, then do it."
My mom pipes in with asking me to breath and politely reminds Don that the contract entered into is between us and Concept Kia and any monies will be coming back via litigation so best be contacting their legal department and with that we left.
Go mom!
Once again, I don't recommend Concept Kia.

On the news this evening, they did a report that they feel that the internet is corrupting our society's proper view of sex. Say what?
I didn't need the internet to be the deviant that I am. I didn't need the internet in 1985, and I certainly didn't need it in 1990 or last week either... I found it allllllllll by myself (well not by myself, but you know what I mean... oh hell some of it was by myself, but...fuckit, you know what I mean).
There was no internet porn in 1985 when my very cold ass was in the air in the ski patrol hut... there was no internet porn (that I was looking at anyways) in 1990 when I was knocking down a Christmas tree (ooooops!) and CSI was on tv last week and thats gotta be the furthest thing from porn unless you're into that sorta thing..
And I think I'm mildly corrupt already, I didn't need help.

I read Joe's post about the female orgasm and I had a flashback to my very first orgasm induced by a man. I had had quite a bit to drink that night so that perhaps loosened the inhibitions, but I won't forget him saying repetitively "Just let it go...". That was the obviously the first time I had heard it, but it is something that I have heard many times over the years. So my question is... Do ya not think I'm trying to do that? But if you're gonna over stimulate, yeah its gonna tickle and eventually I'm just going to brush your hand away or pull your face up or whatever because it would be bad form to start giggling.
I think I'm on a tangent that has no end, so I'll stop here.

Somewhere along this post an appropriate title will surface I'm sure, however, it shall remain titleless for the moment... if it stays blank, I forgot or nothing seemed reasonable/right.

I had an interesting conversation today (thank you, you know who you are) which made me take a brief trip down memory lane. And I realized I had forgotten things, forgotten new information...and I didn't twinge at some of the memories like I used to. I guess that does mean time does heal everything. And you can live past a broken heart and maybe not be so jaded.

I thought about the cast of characters that have passed through my life.. some more briefly than others and some have managed to get stuck in the fly paper and have stuck it out. So I wondered why they did. What was so amazingly special about me that made them choose to want to put up with me and my shit... my insecurities, my 'flakiness', and my perpetual state of flux.
But they have taught me something that I didn't realize until thinking about this cast.... they have taught me that I am not alone in this world. That I don't have to ask if someone is angry with me, that they should be telling me so I am not second guessing myself. That I don't have to be at their beck n call and that it is OK to not talk every day and that doesn't change our friendship. They have taught me that I am a good person and worthy of knowing and worthy of being with. That I am the life of the party and the wallflower and both are OK. That my sense of humour is whacked and they love that about me. And most of all, I can give them the link to this blog and they don't judge me by _anything_ written here and that they may not always pass comment when strolling by here, but that they accept it and love me anyways.
I've read others blogs and they talk about that they could not give this URL to anyone they know as they love the anonymity it provides and they'd die if someone they knew personally read their diary. But really, the mere fact that you press the publish button gives permission for anyone to read whatever you post, even your innermost thoughts.

There are some innermost thoughts that I can't publish...at least not yet. Perhaps in days to come, they will come to light, but for now... I'm not giving that permission.

So reading a blog, follow the comments to the other bloggers which in turn you follow more comments to another blog and shit, 5 hours have lapsed and half a pack of cigarettes...damnit ;-)

Out of all the trails, the last place I was at was Maurice's, reading a post about love, infidelity and the search.

I can completely indentify with each person he has commented on...

I was Average Joe and I am Kayten. eep I realize I'm a gemini, but shit, talk about split personalities.

Kayten said somethings about photographs and being beautiful in a recent post... and I have to concur with her. I am not beautiful in a moment of a photograph. I am when I am crying with laughter at/with you. I am when my eyes are rolling in the back of my head from pure pleasure. I am when my eyes are dancing with mischieviousness as I seduce you. But I will never be in that brief moment captured on camera.

But out of all of this, I had to think about what I really want.
I need to laugh every day.
I need to be me every day.
I need to be able to cry.
I need to be able to communicate.
I need to be loved.
I need to be able to love.
I need to be accepted.
I need to be accepting.
I want all of these things, and there is no special format that someone has to fit into to be all of these things... but they still need to be all of them too.

I missed kick off and its half hour into the SuperBowl... I'm going to cheer at the tv.
Thanks for listening btw

If anyone knows of a good dvd movie player and cd burner software for Solaris 10 X86, I'd be quite happy.... preferrably one I don't have to compile either... but... anything would do.

Please and fanx

Prior to working for this fabulous airline, I spent nearly 5 yrs of my life in an alarm monitoring station doing everything from data entry to technical support to dismantling alarm systems. There isn't an alarm system that has been manufactured in the past 15 yrs that I can't dismantle, disarm or break into... scary really.
This particular alarm company is HUGE. They have several hundred companys that are dealerships ( example... you buy a cell phone from Radio Shack that supplies service from X cellphone network... they're a dealer for X network..similar idea) and then this big assed alarm company monitors them all.

When I did work for this company, I would get door knocked or telemarketed by various dealerships trying to sell me an alarm and I would always politely decline saying that I worked for the company... today, I get the telemarketing call...

"Hi ma'am, my name is and I am calling on behalf of X company, authorized dealers for XYZ. We are..."
I interupt with,
"Thank you, but I work for XYZand I'm not interested thanks."
"Oh, you work for XYZ? Which branch?"
"The monitoring centre."
"Oh.. there is no monitoring centre."
"Pardon?"
"There isn't a monitoring centre."
"Ummm could you tell me what I have been doing for the past 5 yrs of my life then? And how the alarms are responded to and handled then?"
"Well I guess then in a monitoring centre."
"Very good! Could you please explain how you figured there wasn't one?"
"It doesn't matter ma'am, you're right"
Of course I'm right I think to myself... dumbass
"And you're with X dealership correct?"
"Yes"
"Great, thank you. Since you're promoting a monitored service, you MIGHT want to find out how they actually work."
*click*
I have a number of friends that still work for XYZ and one of them is responsible for quality assurance with respect to the dealerships... I left him a nice voice mail. Happy Monday David ;-)

How is it that the telemarketers target my # and I get the stupidest fucking people calling me??? I SO cannot wait for Canada to implement the Do Not Call law.
First it was the fertilizer lady... and yes I'm fucking sure I don't live on a goddamn farm... and now this. But if you think about it, they have provided blog fodder... hmmm

I'm off to test the samples from the party last night ;-)

I went to a toy party last night... had a great laugh, spent some dosh and I am ..err pardon the pun... excited about receiving said product on its arrival. :-) I think the best laugh was the story the hostess told about a previous party attendant who asked where the clitoris was...I'm still baffled.. it was a girl too, just to clear up any misconception. I _know_ that some men have a hard time figuring out where it is.

Last October, I traded in my 1991 Dodge Shadow for a 2005 Kia Spectra. Here is a story of the events from date of order to today.
Oct 18 - Order Date
Oct 27 - Date Received sans sport spoiler and Shadow traded in - spoiler ordered, keyfobs not programmed, waiting for control unit
Nov 4 - call at 3am from City Police asking if the car had been stolen from me as it had been involved in an altercation. No, I reply, I traded it in last week.
Nov 12 - repacking of foam in driver's seat and fix seat belt from choking the life out of the driver, arrival of spoiler but not installed as it is the wrong colour, keyfobs not programmed, waiting for control unit
Nov 20 - repacking of foam in driver's seat, keyfobs not programmed, waiting for control unit
Dec 15 - repacking of foam in driver's seat,keyfobs not programmed, waiting for control unit (can you see the trend yet?)
Dec 22 - arrival and install of correct coloured spoiler
Jan 15 - repacking of foam in driver's seat done by my ex husband, keyfobs still don't work, still waiting for control unit.... 400 units sold in Calgary and no one has working fobs.
Feb 4 - Call from the city impound lot. Come get 91 Dodge Shadow and pay lot fees.
Feb 5 - 2 hours spent calling around to get resolution about this car I do not own anymore, but am still listed as registered owner and the altercation said car was involved in, in Nov caused car to be impounded. I don't want this car, I don't care what you do with it... in fact, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to burn it.
Feb 5 end of day.... I am going to Kia for compensation for this crazy stupid ass shit and to get my fobs working.
BTW, if you're in Calgary and looking to buy a car, I don't recommend Concept Kia.

I have done some heavy ranting the past few days and for those that have trudged through it - thank you.. for the rest of ya, fuck ya.
I've been pretty sick on and off for a month now and I really really realllllllllly would like to not be. I am feeling better but I still sound like the GodFather.
My friend called the night before last and thought she had the wrong number and hung up... thats how bad I sound. Although to the untrained ear, it is a very sexy sorta voice.

I already have a fairly husky voice and get told quite often that its very sexy...
I have spent a fair amount of this time that I would otherwise be spending at work, trolling through blogs of various nature aside from my growing list of daily reads. Its been an interesting journey and nice to see that I am not alone.

I had a very strange conversation with a friend of mine today about convenience fucks and how long can you let them go on and can you really really do it without emotion. He was apparently propositioned by a close friend and thought she was joking and she was very serious and he declined. He wants to make sure she's ok.... I suggested waiting a couple of days because she's going to be on the defensive cause man, we women do NOT like rejection. You guys think its so damn easy for us women to get laid whenever we want... PULEASE. It aint that easy.
But we discussed the whole convenience thing quite rationally besides outbursts from me about men being like faucets...
I am not a Julia Roberts fan, but like her character in Pretty Woman... you want no emotion, then no kissing. Want me to melt into a puddle, kiss me but good and you're in like flynn. He didn't get it.
*throwing up my hands* Men.

Well, I always find new blogs when I read comments posted on the various ones I visit daily and have found a new one to add... Average Joe And in trolling back through his archives just to find out who Joe really was, I came across an interesting list that I am going to steal (I came across alot of things that made me laugh, however the list thing is a go).

Anyone that reads here regularly has had tidbits of my life... So here are 100 things (and like AJ I may not get there, but going to try) that you may or may not know about me...

1. I am 34
2. I am still legally married, although I can file for abandonment of the marriage since we have been legally separated for 8 yrs.
3. My ex husband is one of my best friends
4. I have two tattoos - Taz and a Gemini symbol
5. I have my belly button pierced
6. I have very nerdy black rimmed glasses
7. I have been pregnant twice
8. I work for an airline, but I am not a flight attendant
9. I once worked as a phone sex operator and made very very good money
10. I still want to be a lawyer
11. I have a degree in education
12. Prior to working for an airline, I worked for an alarm company providing technical support and emotional support for the perputally paranoid women at 3am because their alarm went off for "no reason".
13. I have never had a gspot orgasm
14. I have had several MMF and FFM three-somes
15. In university, I lived in a D&S lifestyle as a submissive for nearly a year.
16. I am far too independant to live that as a lifestyle but as a game, bring it on
17. I lost my virginity at 15... his name was the same as a former US president.
18. I have been in two car accidents where I have been driving...the first I was hit by a drunk driver, the second, 16 yrs later, I rear ended an off duty cop in uniform... couldn't decide if I should drool or cry.
19. I drive a piece of shit Ford Escort
20. I haven't spoken to my father, save for the neccessity call in October 2004, since 2001. And that is quite ok with me
21. I have no "full blood" siblings, I do however, have 9 half siblings from various marriages/relationships.
22. I masturbate once a day unless I'm getting some
23. I have a cat McCoy and a fish Dory - well ok, our zoo does
24. I have a secret wish to be on some sort of reality show
25. I am going back to blue hair next week
26. I was sexually abused by my bus driver when I was in elementary school and had repressed it until he died about 5 yrs ago...therapy is a good thing baby
27. If I wear underwear, its a thong
28. If I have money in my wallet, it burns a hole and I must spend it. I am horrible at saving it.
29. I sold all of my possessions except my house to go to England to be with my "other shoe"
30. I am a geek. I know what an ASCII BBS is, what telnet is, how to use it and more importantly, I have a C64 that still works and I play Maniac Mansion on it
31. I have had a new credit card for a month now and have only used it to buy $300 worth of groceries... this is a record for me ...see #28
32. I saw Cher in concert and I liked it ..shhhhhhh
33. I have had sex outdoors
34. I have broken furniture more than once, having sex
35. I hate oysters
36. My ex husband proposed in a shopping mall parking lot 3 mins after we picked out my ring
37. Two people that I have had sex with are cross dressers
38. I only own one vibrator and a set of handcuffs...shocking innit?
39. I am extrodinarily loud during sex
40. I have been caught having sex more than once
41. I am a rampant fan of The Amazing Race
42. I have every song Matchbox20 has recorded, legal or otherwise...
43. I think Jack Nicholson is sexy in a very bizarre sorta way... he's older than my father..
44. 9 yrs younger than I am is the youngest I have ever had sex with
45. 15 yrs older than I am is the oldest
46. I once turned a turkey into ash because I didn't realize that the latch on the oven locked the self cleaning process and I could not turn it off until it had reached temperature and then cooled off... ask me sometime about the insurance tab on that
47. I locked my sister in the outhouse on the farm when I was 12 because she was pestering me
48. My father physically assaulted me when I was a teenager
49. My brother J, is a karate champion, on the Canadian National team and is #1 in the world for his weight class in kata and #2 for sparring
50. I am an internet junkie having been online since ASCII BBSs with a handset modem at 9600baud and thought it was cool when we went to 14400
51. My computer is currently a bastardization of windblowz and various other things, has no modem and there is enough cable running my internal network that you can hang yourself quite nicely
52. I am distancely and geographically challenged. I can get lost in a round room
53. My favourite colour is dark hunter green
54. I am a sentimental cow
55. I do not like blonde men
56. I have been with another woman and would do it again if the situation was 'right'
57. I want to quit smoking, but my willpower sucks... the patch makes my heart race and Zyban makes me more psycho than I already am... we can't have that
58. I work with some very beautiful men that I see at company functions and I wouldn't kick any of them outta bed for eating crackers
59. I fantasize about Mel Gibson
60. I also have strange fantasies about a store in the UK - Tesco - there is nothing that compares... ok well there sorta is, but its the whole UK thing thrown in
61. I create amazing circles of friends and they all become this circle and then I find myself fustrated with it and step out of the circle
62. I have very few women friends because I can't deal with high maintence women and if I say I will call later, if I don't.. shit happens, grab a deep breath, it is not a personal affront... life happened or maybe I just didn't want to talk to anyone... get over it
63. I love Celtic music
64. I love Newfies and their mentality ... laid back, relaxed and just get on with it
65. I miss the leaves changing colour in the fall and the maple syrup run in the spring in Ontario
66. I do not miss the humidity of Ontario
67. I have large breasts
68. I have no fetishes and despise my toes being sucked on *shudder*
69. In a 69, I have to be on the bottom or I do not achieve orgasm
70. I have purchased porn
71. On a man, the first two things I look at are eyes and hands. (no, not for the wedding band, I like big hands)
72. I love road trips despite working for an airline, driving across Canada was amazing.. not something I'd do again as lone driver...but awesome none the less
73. My first cat, Chris-cat, ran away because I took him outside and the dog, Brandy, chased him away
74. My next cat, Patches, ate a piece of glass and died. Her replacement, Marmalade, died of pneumonia, then Fluffy had to be put down at the ripe age of 15. Webster was put down at 10 because he was sick... now McCoy at the ripe age of 20... eep
75. I am tempted... very tempted.. to poison my neighbour's dog Rex. If the goddamn thing does not stop fucking barking right his second, I will..I swear
76. U2 is my ultimate favourite band
77. I would love to sit and have lunch (and other things) with Bono and pick his brain...
78. I want to go to Russia for holidays for at least a month
79. I spent a week in Greece and didn't once venture out and do anything remotely touristy.. I lived in a village with my girlfriend and just vegged and lived and it was the best vacation ever
80. In Grade 8, I thought Boy George was the shit man
81. I dressed up as Mimi from Drew Carey for Hallowe'en and won many prizes for this very scary similarity
82. I raced skiing in highschool and crashed n burned badly in Grade 12 and now I live in the Rockies and the chair lifts give me vertigo and I'm such a chicken shit
83. I have every Terry Pratchett, however, have only read about 12 of them
84. I am a speed reader, can read a 300 page novel in about 2 hrs...very expensive hobby
85. I lied about the fetish thing.. I have a car fetish. Fine expensive sports cars... my dream car is a 2000 Lotus Elise..if only Transport Canada would let me import from the UK. The US edition is as ugly as sin
86. This airline is the best place I have ever worked and I cannot understand what took me so long to get here. It is one of the top 10 places in Canada to work
87. The worst job I had was reception for a shipping company that was closed by the sheriff two days after I started
88. This is my favourite number
89. I have a cd full of "shagging tunes" with songs like Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb, U2 One and With or Without You...
90. 9 1/2 Weeks is one of my favourite movies, however, I have yet to see it in completion...I get err distracted
91. As Good As It Gets is my alltime favourite
92. As much as I pretend to be a rebel, I really am a goody-two shoes with respect to being polite and consciencious and do my best not to hurt people's feelings
93. I have been a practising nudist since 1990 and loathe clothes
94. I hate socks and shoes just as much..if I could be nekkid and barefoot my entire life, I would
95. If I ever get married again (or even a long term eternally sinning relationship), I would like a white gold band with the words "One ring..." inscribed inside
96. I was fairly promiscious when I was a teenager/early 20s
97. I have never had a sexually transmitted disease
99. I could care less about shaven/unshaven/waxed/trimmed.. thats up to my partner... so if you want shaven, here is the shaving creme and a razor..cut me and you're cut off
100. I am amazed I made it to 100 trivial facts that have taken up alot of space on my blog and that will give Chaz more reading and the final thing is actually not a trivial fact about me...
Here is the question...

If you had to give up everything sexual (not positions, but acts such as giving head, getting head, giving cunnilingus, receiving..etc etc etc) except for one thing, what would you KEEP?
I will answer later...

We all start our blogs with our intentions of rantings, ravings, an outlet, a place to bare our insanities and life's ironies and allowing others to view us from the anonymity of behind our schwanky flatscreens. Sometimes weeks/days/months/several hundred posts go by before we realize someone else may read what we've written and possibly are offended by it, take some of it and apply it to their own lives or that even someone finds it amusing/entertaining/offensive enough to comment on.... so with that in mind, I will apologise in advance if I do offend anyone and please feel free to comment both positive and negative.

My soapbox is creamsicle orange and I proudly wave my Canadian flag eh?

I have linked previously to the Disc where I have racked up nearly 2 yrs of real time (since 1996) of my life in a place that I enjoy and have been a player, a coder, an administrator and general dogsbody. I have met people there from many many countries and have made friendships that will last a lifetime. There have been significant events in history that I can recall hearing about for the first time and discussing for ages, all whilst logged into the Disc. Diana's death... Sept 11th...
Bearing in mind the significant diversity of the internet and that every type of community, be it a blog community, the Disc, a game website, anything where there is interaction ... will bring out the worst in people when confronted with situation.. just as real life. The stats of the Disc ... UK, Aus and US make up nearly 80% of the countries represented there... the US a quite significant portion even though the theme is created by an English author.. anyways, I digress (again..)
Sept 11th was significant for the world. The Disc is my second home and having sent my daughter to school with huge concerns based on the location of the airport, her school and our house... but none the less, I went "home" to make sure those that were part of our family and living in NY were safe.
The first comments I see are from Americans. Uneducated comments. I bite my tongue and listen. (yes yes odd for me, but I did it!) Various comments fly by, the tv on in the background of my monitor listening to various reports... and after yet another American makes a snide comment about carpet bombing, I decide it is time to speak up.
"This is a declaration of war, and don't be surprised if by this time tomorrow, GW will be preparing deployment" I say.
"How can you say that?"
"Because GW is an eye for an eye man." I reply
"No he isn't!" the arguments fly.
"Of course he is, he believes in the death penalty, you can't get much more eye for an eye than that."
So the arguments fly further and I watch as adults... yes adults turn themselves inside out with prophecies, predictions, and various other carryings on.
And then comes the "Oh poor pity us, it happened on US soil, we have suffered the most" debate. And yet again, my big mouth opens...
"This is an INTERNATIONAL tragedy. Yes, it happened in the United States, and yes there are many people affected in the United States. Please realize that I am sitting less than 3 hours from your border and I too am in a position of fear, however, my fear is from North Korea not from the Taliban or whomever they are accusing of this heinous act. We are ALL affected"
Then I promptly logged off before I lost my temper...
A few days later, GW graced us with his presence and presented the State of The Nation address. I was horrified.. terrified. I am more afraid of him than I am of Saddam... than of Osama.. With or without the backing of the UN he is going to do what he wants to do regardless of the outcome. After watching this televised address, I sit stunned in front of my computer and I write a letter to my local newspaper.
My letter ..in brief..
The only reason that GW wants Iraq so bad is because of the oil and the oil fields north of Iraq that Dick Cheney has interests in. He is the CEO of an oil company that cannot get its oil out because Iraq won't let him build a pipeline and Afghanistan says sure, but we want a cut. And at the end of our mess in Iraq, we've hired Hudson General to come in after and clean it up and while they're at it, they'll continue to do what they do best... build pipelines. And they'll do that while they fix up Iraq for us.
Did GW not learn anything from his predecessors? The real threat is from North Korea. They make weapons grade plutonium which the US paid several billion dollars in aid along with South Korea for NK to close this plant and build a new one that would not make weapons grade. There are bunkers full of plutonium. Have we bothered to check to see if they have followed through with their promise and that THEY don't have weapons of mass destruction?

I wrote this letter and sent it to various people. I then sat back and watched my letter become Michael Moore's movie. I then just saw a couple of weeks ago that the American people voted Farenheit 9/11 as the best movie. These are the same people that voted Bush in for a second term. Say What?!
There are websites (which I can't find the links for at the moment) where thousands and thousands of American's apologise to the rest of the world for GW. A few days before the election, I happened to catch a George Carlin special on the Comedy Network and he said a couple of things that really make a lot of sense to me, as a non-American...
"The Americans elected an American.. when you have a gene pool as small as this, you don't have much choice."
and
"Choose the evil you know"
So to every Canadian that bitched at me the days following the last US election... they didn't have a choice... it was him, or Bob* from the last trailer on the left in the second largest trailer park in Louisiana who is married to his brother's sister and drives around in a 76 Chev half-ton with a Confederate flag in the back window and a gunrack with 2 sawed off shotguns fully loaded and a pair of horns on the hood.

The American economy needed a war. Canada needed the American economy boost. We all benefited. Just remember that the US is a war mongering country. Every war since WWII that has happened anywhere in the world has either been started or kept going by the US, save East Timor, which kudos to Australia for telling them to get the fuck out. :-)

And lastly... to every American that gets their back up because Canada didn't participate in the Coalition of the Willing:
We are a peacekeeping country. We go around after you have been into a country and attempt to fix the chaos you have created. We do not have an army. We have used British subs that leak and sink, we had 2 Chinooks, but we crashed one into the deck of one of our three ships just days after you asked for our help, we have every possible deployable soldier doing peacekeeping duties already. Remember, we have been flat open spaces (Saskatchewan!) and if they were hit by a missile, it would just change the scenery slightly and make road trips a little more interesting.

We are not governed by the church, we make decisions and laws that reflect the majority, not the morals of the church. Same-sex marriage, legalized pot for medicinal purposes (you can even grow it!), we say please and thanks and gosh and by golly, we play damn good hockey.

After all of that ranting, I will say there is one thing that perhaps we as Canadians could learn from Americans... we are not on a whole an overtly patriotical country. We are proud, don't get me wrong... but the patriotism that drew Americans together after Sept 11th is something we as Canadians could learn a lesson or two about...

I again apologise if I have offended my loyal readers *laugh* But this is my soapbox..

*All in all, Bob sounds pretty damn sexy and since I ain't getting any, he may just have to do ;-)