Canadian Phone Sex

Knowing that of course we all live in the land of ice and snow, here's what we can pretend phone sex in Canada might be like...

"What are you wearing?" he asks.
"A parka, sweater, two shirts, and a slip."
"Is the slip flannel?" he breathlessly asks.
"You know it big boy. Straight out of the Hudson Bay catalogue. It is bright red and wooly and buttons straight up to the neck."
"What do you have underneath it?" he drools.
"Nothing at all - except an old cotton t-shirt. Oh dear", she teases, "somehow my scarf has come undone and fallen all the way to my boots."
"Are they the big brown boots that you use to shove the walk?" He has to loosen his own collar.
"Thats right", she purrs, "The ones with the salt stains."
"Are you wearing longjohns?"
"Two pairs, plus the red and white hockey socks you gave me last Valentine's Day. And over all of this, my big brown snow pants that I wear to walk the dog."
"Is your hair up or down?" He bit his lip.
"Just the way you like it, under my Calgary Flames toque!"
"I'm running my mittens through it right now." he whispers.
"Maybe I should put some earmuffs on too." she teases again.
Somethings are just too much for a man.
"I'll be right home. Send the kids to the neighbours, turn up the thermostat and shove the sidewalk!"

*shamelessly plagerized from the Calgary Sun