I was reading K's blog after she so nicely commented here (thanks eh?) and she got me thinking about the positives (and some negatives) of being Canadian and specifically in Alberta...

So before I get all political, here's a giggle...

Top 10 reasons why it's great to be Canadian

10. It beats being an American.

9. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

8. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

6. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

5. A political leader can admit to smoking pot/getting laid/having oral sex and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

3. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins

2.Own-an-eskimo scheme.

And the number 1 reason why its great to be Canadian...

1. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

So my rantings about Ralphy...

Now any baby born in 2005 or afterwards gets a $500 grant towards post secondary education provided the parents open an RESP. The cost of PS in Alberta is already astronomically out of proportion, so are they anticipating with the small bit of interest that perhaps that this $500 might make a dent in 20 yrs???

We may be debt free... but we have nothing left. We have little funding for education.. my daughter has to take city transit at 11 yrs old because her school has no busing. In a city of nearly a million people and according to Ralph the best education system in the country, how is it that we cannot afford a bus???

Our health care system sucks. It took me two years to get an appointment at the Fibryomyalgia Clinic and my followup appointment is months after my initial. It took 6 months for me to get an appointment for an MRI. Good thing I don't have MS or Lou Gherig's. It gets so bad at emerg, that when I had to take my daughter in as she had broken her ankle, that we took 2 books each because we guessed at least 5 hr wait. We weren't far from wrong. Our family doctors keep going to the US because that is where the money is and then we wonder why we spend half a day in emerg or months/years for specialist appointments. Ante up Ralph baby.

The ONLY reason Ralph keeps getting elected..ok make that two... is a) the evil that you know (much like the american election but I will go further on that next post) and b) he keeps sending rebate cheques (even to inmates!).

Ok so this wasn't a lovey-dove life is grand post and in some ways not really a gripe either. I choose to live here and I have choices.

This is home. The house I grew up in til I was six in Ottawa... is just that, a house. The farm I grew up on from 6-18 is now just a house and land that belong to someone else. This house that I bought 10 yrs ago, that I have made mine, the mountains I can see from my bedroom window, the goosebumps I got from cheering on my home team all the way to the Stanley Cup, the spirit of this city... is my home.

When you look at the cost of living in other countries... for example the UK (sorry Chaz), is astronomical. Lee's house in Stanford-Le-Hope was a terrace house (a townhouse or row house depending on your country) and cost 65,000 sterling and was a two bedroom closet. I paid 95,000 CND about the same time he purchased his... I could take his house, stick it inside mine and live around it and still not be fussed over the fact that it was there.... a cd there is 15 quid... about 38 cnd. Granted, their salaries compensate but when you import everything, you pay up the wahzoo. I was last there in summer of 2003, so based on what I remember petrol was at about 79p a litre... so thats about 2 cnd a litre or 8 cnd a gallon so about 5 us a gallon... if my conversion is a little off, sorry. A Fronterra was 19,000 sterling for basically the same thing as a Jeep Liberty (but it was tomato soup orange, so I think you paid extra for that)...

Anyways, my rant is over, I have run out of plot... bugger.

The point being... Canada rocks!

There are a few things that I want to say, so I hope to get them all out in some coherent mess... I'll try to find some way to break this up so it doesn't look completely whacked Nyquil speak...

The whole Devin thing has me completely messed up. I talked with Lori about it tonight and she just looked at me like I was on crack. Thats exactly how I feel... like a Jack Russel Terrier...whacked.. no idea what or if I should feel anything anymore.

So bearing in mind that he has been messing with my head for so long, that I did mentally take a stand to move on.

How is it that I end up in relationships that are completely whacked?

My ex husband... my best friend - nuff said.

The Second Lee... He left me for a woman that is older than my mother, her oldest son is older than he is and she had 4 grandbabies when they got married. She passed away a couple of years ago when they were on holidays in Egypt. Somehow he felt it neccessary to tell me. Not sure what that was supposed to mean to me other than I could give a smug smile in knowing that I was right. This man nearly cost me my house and put me thousands of dollars into debt. Money I will never see, however, it is good riddance to bad rubbish. Since 1997, we have spoken less than half a dozen times.

The love of my life.. The First and Third Lee. He lives in England - not sure I have enough room to explain everything about this, but in a nutshell, he is my other shoe. Distance, the past, and so so much water under a very large bridge has made this so difficult. He still can make my heart twitterpat, but... too much gone by. We talk but.. its not quite the same.

Jake... We were friends, then we were dating, then I hated him, now we're friends again and we hang out when he comes to Canada or I need a bed when someone gets married in England. That reminds me, he arrives sometime soon to go mountain crashing again. Super Bowl in Banff! uh oh. When I hated him, we were attending a wedding together in Seattle that we had previously said yes to when we were still together. I arrived, we had the same hair. There are other oddities about that whole week I'd rather not get into. We talk.

The Fourth Lee.. yeah I know. Enough of that name. We worked together.. he was nice enough, but after a week together on holidays, I was climbing the walls. We haven't spoken in a long time, but only because our paths just don't cross.

Shane... ahhhh Shane.. He was 20 to my 28. And a virgin to boot. I was pleasantly surprised at the errm natural talent? He's 6'6" 250lbs and ...well.. droolworthy. He's from Brisbane Australia and we met on The Disc.. thats where I met the First Lee and Jake.
Shane came over to Canada during the Nagano Olympics. He got the opportunity to see snow actually fall... we had a huge snowball fight... it was amazing. However, he was far far too young and we were in completely different spaces. Now, 6 yrs later, he's married and happy. I told him his wife owes me a thankyou card ;-)
We talk from time to time and we have mended any broken bridges.

Gary.. He was the first guy I met on an internet dating site. Our first date was almost 24 hrs long. I was nearly asleep when he dropped me off. We had an amazing summer. I was his rebound relationship. We haven't spoken since the night I broke up with him because I wasn't prepared to be his rebound. Lori actually ran into him at a parenting after divorce seminar (he has 4 girls ... now they'd be 4 6 8 and 10) and he was with his new girlfriend who apparently is a blonde version of me. Sheesh.

In between there is Tim (see Oct/Nov archives for Tim notes) and then there is Devin...

See? Fucked up. Completely.

I would like to think I am not a typical girl... so points to ponder.

• I don't take 3 hours to get ready to go out. Give me 30 mins warning and I'm good to go. That doesn't mean I'm dressed like a slob or unclean, it just means that I am not vain nor do I need to paint my face like an Indian going into battle.
• I LIKE sports. I do not require them in a daily dose, nor do I require the sports page of a newspaper. If they're on tv and you want to watch, I'm in. Do I understand the rules? Yes.. except for cricket but that's a daft game anyways.
• I don't need you to be with me all the time for me to be "complete". I do not require a phone call every 20 mins to make sure I'm ok. I do not require you to check in with me. That said - it is appreciated that you say "Hey, I'm going out with guys, I'll be home later" or "I will be out late, would you like me to call later?" or something to that effect.
• If you want to go out with the guys, go ahead. The strip bar is fine too. I know where you're coming home to.
• Porn is healthy. The only time I have something to say about porn being bad is when it is a substitute in a relationship. That means there is something more to this than just "I like porn". It means that we're not communicating about something, so speak up, I don't bite (that is unless you want me to)
• Sex is healthy. Lots of it. Now. Yes please. Did I say now? I meant NOW.
• No, you do not have to cuddle me to sleep. In fact, please get off of me so I can roll over because your internal furnace is going to melt my skin off. I would be quite happy with a kiss goodnight and rolling over. (after sex, more sex and more sex that is).
• I am not a morning person... acknowledging that fact by not waking me up in your sunny cheery disposition would be gratefully welcomed and coffee cherished.
• I will NOT ask you if I look fat in something because that's just asking for trouble. I would however appreciate the occassional wolfwhistle when I'm looking pretty fine.
• I do not require flowers for every bloody reason under the sun. My cat eats them anyways. But under no circumstances, ever, not even if your dog died, the cat ran away, your best friend's uncle's sister-in-law died, do you fuck with the birthday. I could care less about Valentine's day, I could really give a rat's ass about anniversaries. But DON'T FUCK WITH THE BIRTHDAY. *hint hint It's June 18th*

So ya see, I'm not high maintence.....

did warn this could get long winded... but I am done now. I started this post 45 mins and 2 cigarettes ago so its time to go to sleep and let Nyquil do his thang.

The doctor says I'm sick. No shit sherlock. He gives me antibiotics on Thurs. Its now Sat afternoon and I feel worse. *cough hack*
I needed a change of scenery after having been in bed since Wednesday afternoon so I decided to go sit in line at the carwash... well the decision to sit in line wasn't made til I got there, however, I had my little code for the carwash for 2 weeks now and it was going to expire soon. Note: When I wash my car, it _always_ gets mind numbing cold and my locks freeze every time... its 8 C today and going up to 14 tomorrow... my car may not freeze!
I sat in line for 90 mins to wash my car... yes, that sounds stupid, however, it was a fabulous change of scenery from the inside of my bedroom. It is 90 mins that I will never get back mind you, but did I really have anything better to do?

I got Rach a betta fish too. Dory is his name. I forbade her from naming him Nemo. Oh and my sister renamed George... his name is Hampton.

And on a completely different note... the next person that sends me a .pps or any other form of power point attachment via email after I have explicitly said "DO NOT SEND ME POWER POINT, I CANNOT VIEW THEM ON THIS MACHINE" to them, is going to get said attachment back 982 times.
For the next person that offers to send me power point, I am going to send them 4000 illegal copies of Windblowz and staple them to their forehead.
I do not have power point installed for a reason, and I do not wish to have it. I have it already. I do not want it. If I could get away without running Windblowz in any shape or form I would... so will you all just piss off :-)
And YES there are other choices of OS out there, perhaps you might like to try one... here, you can have my copy of Redhat or even better, if you'd like I can set you up with a Unix machine and then I'll send YOU power point presentations.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

And the next person that enters my email address as a referral to some bizarre spam contest and I don't win, dies. 5 reminders a day that soandso has referred me and clogs up my hotmail inbox... jeebus.

I love you all, just make it stop.

Update: Oh and a further note. I have changed my email address. I sent out notices to everyone that mattered. I know you got the email because I am getting some from you on one and some on the other... urgh argh.

I've been sick on and off for over a month now... however, I am on death's door now.
If I can stop sneezing long enough to post this very brief note, I will be more than pleased...

It is taking a huge amount of effort to sit here for any length of time, so I'm going back to lying horizontally and drooling on my pillow...

ps send soup

I have undertaken the slow task of renovating my house. I've lived here for just over 10 yrs and slowly but surely, I have begun.

Last year I redid Rach's room. She wanted an ocean... so an ocean she got. The walls are pale blue and the trim is navy blue. I took out the bifold closet door which takes up half the room when open anyways and put in a springloaded shower curtain rod and hung a shower curtain covered in fish as her closet door. The blinds are navy blue, her bedding is all shades of blue, some with dolphins and whales, some just plain. There are dolphin posters and ceramic fish and dolphins on the wall and there is dolphin everything everywhere. Its a beautiful creation.

Then the bathroom.... I do solemnly declare I will never.. ever.. ever undertake replacing a floor like this again. The lino had peeled up around the bathtub which had caused the particle board along the edge to rot. Off I go thinking I can do this... and pull up the lino... and then cut with a circular saw from the edge of the vanity to the wall. My intentions were to just go from the vanity to the tub (which does encompass the toilet) and replace that particle board and then put down new tile floor. Upon cutting the wood and having a crowbar handy to pull it up... it wasn't that easy. If I EVER find the builder of this house, I am going to rip off his arm and beat him with the bloody end. He made a squiggle with the glue but didn't spread it and then just put the particle board down so that when it expanded, it expanded in a squiggle. I would have been ok with this... I think... if he had not stapled every inch and a half.. I may have been mildly ok with that if he had gone the same fucking direction with the staples!!!! What should have taken me a couple of hours, took 3 of us 9 hrs. We made up new swear words.
So after all is said and done, caulking around tub pulled, new row of tiles above existing in the shower added, new floor in, and walls scrubbed clean I began the redecorating process.

I primed the tiles around the tub with a special tile mildew resistant primer. I then painted the tiles around the tub with melamine paint (boat paint) which had me high for days. The melamine is a beautiful navy blue. In my bathroom, there are two short walls (length of the tub basically) and two long walls - approx 20ft. The one long wall has a window, the toilet and the vanity on it, the facing wall has a towel rack and the door. The short wall above the shower tiles and the other short wall (has a built in oak medicine chest) were painted a butter yellow and then faux finished with a gold rub latex paint with sparkly bits in it... and the wall with the medicine chest, I also rubber stamped in gold, stars n moons n suns. The two longer walls were painted navy blue. Between the counter top and the window sill, I did a row of rubber stamped suns, and on the opposing wall, random stars n moons and suns. I spray painted all the fixtures (draw pulls, cupboard door handles, towel rack, toilet paper holder) gold and then spray varnished them. In the tub, there were random tiles that had very cheezy 80s flower motif on them which the embossing showed through the melamine. So with special tile paint, I rubber stamped the suns on those tiles and then heated with a blow dryer to make them "dishwasher safe". Shower curtain, bathmat and a couple of towels all with the stars moon sun motif on them, a couple of ceramic suns on the wall above the mirror... and voila, the perfect girly bathroom.

Now the kitchen... today, I just finished, after several months of opportunity and time, stripping, sanding and staining the cupboards. The dining area was done in the fall and its in various shades of olive green with a 16ft high feature wall with gold, darker olive and beige brush strokes all over it. The cupboards are a spice colour and when all finished, it should look like Nouvea Italia or something like that *laugh*.

The living room is next. Its about 300 sq feet of room with a 16 ft back wall. I know what I would like to do... finances will dictate if it will. I would like to turn that back wall again into a feature wall using venetian plaster in a coffee colour and then the rest of the room needs a coat of paint, probably in a lighter coffee colour. We'll see how that goes.

Since I've drivelled about my home improvement tasks, its now 1am and I need to shower again to get rid of the stains on my hands... it looks like I've been involved in some serious murdering *laugh*

There are some wonderful positives about caring for an alzheimer's patient...
-If they get upset about something, you can distract them with something new and they forget why they were upset to begin with....

Granny did NOT like that I was driving my sister's car to go to the store... so my sister started blowing bubbles with soap and water... Granny giggles like a little girl and forgets until I pull up again.... more bubbles, the world is all good.

- You gain ten pounds because she wants to go out to eat every meal, and has forgotten that we ate at the restaurant yesterday so the menu is new again and we don't have to spend 20 minutes on each item with her to decide if she'll like it... just order the same thing again!

Since I was little, Granny always wanted to go out for meals when you visited... so no matter what, you had to go or she'd be offended... we managed to only have to go out for two of 7 meals, yay! However, I think I've gained 10 lbs from all the cookies she kept shoving in my face.

-Siamese Fighting Fish!

We got Granny a betta fish. It has provided hours of entertainment and instead of staring at the wall, she stares at the fish! We taught her how to put the mirror up so he will 'fight' the reflection. She named him George. Can't decide if my father will be offended or not... however it is an apt name for a fish. ;-)

-The Bath Lady

Granny has home care that comes every day to give her a bath. Some of the ladies she loves, others... well she could care less. But I became the bath lady yesterday morning because she was very confused. BUT it meant that I could escape with my bestest friend in the world without a song and dance and explanations. Yay for the bath lady.

Its very hard to say goodbye to Granny every time because it is highly possible its the last time I will see her. She makes me cry every time as she is soooo sweet and cuddly when she's telling you she will miss you and she loves you. *sigh*

So it was an emotionally crazy couple of days, the bed is older than I am and I think I found every coil in the mattress and instant coffee in a coffee maker (that's what she made for me for breakfast) *shudder* ... it was worth the journey, but I need a massage...

Time for work for me, more on my sister's hell later

I am completely and utterly knackered. I can barely see straight, any typos best be ignored... however, I do solemnly promise this will not appear to be some of Chaz's drunkenese or jibberish (which is my first language).

I flew out to Ottawa at 0620 on Wed morning after having been up all night guilt ridden about taking 3 days off work and telling my sister I wasn't going to come... only to call in a panic needing a ride from the airport. I left fabulous +10 C chinook weather to go to -32 again... happens every damn time I go away... typical..

So off I go to Park n Jet to put my car away for my three days.... I called ahead of time to find out what times the shuttle ran to the airport so I could time it appropriately... "Give us 15 mins from when you get here and the shuttle will be ready." I think ..ok, so they're not ready when people show up, I'll just let him know it will take me 10 mins to get there, so he's ready. "Like I said lady, give us 15 mins after you get here and we'll have the shuttle ready." "Err ok"
I get there, they're rude, their parking lot is laid out worse than any amusement park that I've ever been to and if the signs were pointed in the PROPER direction, I would be parked in row AA instead of F - I have not decided if he thought I should be attending AA and I got an F in parking lot navigation?
I am geographically challenged, however, I can follow signs IF THEY POINT THE RIGHT FUCKING WAY!!!!
Don't get pissy with me at 430am when I've had no sleep...
The flight home, some cow in front of me dropped her walkman between the seats and tried to reach it, and knocked my table with hot coffee on it and spilled it alllllllllll over the blanket I'm making. Thankfully, nothing that can't be washed out with some spray n wash and Biz...

The eventfulness that was my trip to Ottawa and the entertainment of caring for an alzheimer's patient at home will have to be saved for tomorrow as I can't possibly keep my eyes open any longer and I swear that I slept on hot coals for two nights....

To be continued, explained... oh and apologies too for being gone for so long...

My Granny, if you've read archives, is 94. My sister has renovated my granny's home so that she can be at home with a wheelchair and have care and be in her own bed... which is where she wants to die.
I'm all for that, except that my sister has given up her life to do this... but.. that is her choice.

Anyways... she had a hole in her velvet Crown Royal bag and her marbles have been scattered across the driveway for many moons now and she is deteriorating fast... So I get to make the trek to Ottawa tomorrow night on the redeye ( bring on the coffee!) and spend a couple of days and have Christmas with my sister and Granny.

My granny has had an amazing life... she has seen the world before it was the craziness it is now. She has ridden an elephant in India, a camel in Egypt.. she taught until she was 75, had her driver's licence until she was 85 (more on that later) and at 94, has convinced the world that she deserves to die at home. Granted, she does. But Granny, you're out of wishes. This is so hard on everyone, and really, as much as she was the cool granny, she did nothing to help our family when we were growing up, she hindered because she doesn't understand manic depression or alcoholism, despite her husband being both. And she divorced him! Ah well, the choice to give up her life was my sister's.. I can only love and support at a distance...

Granny is very prejudiced. She had to have a check up for her cataract surgery at the Ottawa General many years ago.. she got to the hospital and was confused as to where to park and drove under the ambulance area. A coloured security guard came out and was pointing her where to park... she got so flustered about a man of colour telling her where to go, she turned the car around, got onto Riverside Drive and ended up in Montreal. (2 hr drive ladies and gentlemen) The QPP called my dad and asked him to come get her which was a 5 hr drive from our house to Montreal... he was NOT pleased. They took her licence away after that.

I talked to Devin again tonight... was very weird. He's all concerned about me going to Ottawa and calling me this week and me keeping him informed about what is going on... damnit, I'm confused.

I have a psycho cat... he's 20 yrs old (yes 20.. no typo there), pure white, crippled on one front paw (I adopted him that way 10 yrs ago from the SPCA), cataracts in one eye and probably blind in the other and he weighs 22.5 lbs. Because he is crippled, he was never let outside so when he does "escape" out the front door, its by accident... first and only place he goes is under the front steps to roll in the dirt and come out grey. Which promptly earns him a trip the jetted tub (quite deep you see and safer for me!) to get clean. Which he positively loathes... so in the past few years escape has been minimal...

My daughter has decided he should be wearing the harness that we bought 10 yrs ago so that we could leash him outside and he wouldn't get hurt. He hated it... hate perhaps is the wrong word.. despised, loathed, positively absolutely wishes that life would end, hated this thing. He squirms enough to get half his body out of it and is left wrapped up in various bits of this harness nearly choking the life out of him... so it got shelved. However, Rachel felt that he should start wearing it so he got used to it. He hated it 10 yrs ago and never got used to it, I am not quite sure how she figured that 10 yrs is going to make a difference...

I come home tonight to find the cat in various stages of freak-out with the harness tangled around his body and he's lying in a pathetic heap mewling like a dying cat... my daughter you ask? Sitting downstairs watching a movie wearing her SPCA tee-shirt.

And in other news...
Devin called today while I was at work... he won a tv at his local liquor store and he got a call back from the place he'd been laid off at in Sept.
Why is he calling me? I'm glad he is, however, ... damn I'm confuzzled again. You know, being a lesbian would never be a damn sight easier because we're worse than they are... but argh holy fuck batman...

So if you've read the archives and you've got half an inkling of what I should do.... tell me, especially if you're a guy...

I have always got something to say to someone... not smart assed or anything, just... I can talk....alot. It is one of those gemini traits that I was blessed with. I used to be called GabbyGuts when I was a kid... not much has changed.

However...

Today, I only have one short bit of entertainment for you...

You know those lazy days when you stay in your jammies or sweats all day? If you go to the store you throw the biggest coat on so no one can see that you've got 8 different colours of stains on the front of your biggest sweatshirt that you can pull your knees inside of? That was today... lazy assed do nothing lay in bed and watch tv because its too damn cold out to go shopping kinda days. I did go to the store... no bra, baggy sweats and a sweater and a big coat done up.

I am NOT the kind of girl that can get away with going into a public place and removing said coat and not be wearing a bra. Mom and I were going out this evening, I throw on a pair of Old Navy nylon pants instead of the sweats and off I go. I warm up the car and am sitting there and realize as I am about to pull away that I am not wearing a bra... I waffle... do I or don't I? Ah shit, I have to.

I was so comfortable in what I was wearing that avoiding the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder almost happened. I can't imagine who wouldn't have noticed... However, luckily for everyone, I came in and put one on.

And now I sit here and there is some loud freakin movie on downstairs, kids are yelling and I am going to go ditch the bra....

Today my beautiful lovely 11 yr old daughter comes home from school with a media advisory letter with respect to the huge windchill factor for tomorrow.

"Due to extrene wind chill warmings issued by Environment Canada for the next few days, parents/guardians are strongly cautioned as to the following:
- Children should be well prepared for extreme cold and not left unattended at bus stops for any period of time, under any circumstances.
(ed: isn't this common sense anyways???)
-If parents and guardians cannot ensure the safety of their children to and from school the child should be kept at home or other arrangements made for daily supervision of the child.
(ed: isn't this common sense anyways???)
-All CBE schols will remain open t provide a safe, warm and secure environment for attending students."
(ed: isn't that your job???)

The way that everyone is carrying on about this cold front coming... yes it will be -50 with the windchill, yes there will be blowing snow, yes it will be ugly.... that we were going to be in the sequel to The Day After Tomorrow.

On another note... vacation...

I have 75 more days til I am on holidays for 2 weeks... and going to Orlando. Yipeeeeeee.

Car plugged in... check (yes Chaz, we plug our cars into the block heater which keeps the engine core warm so you can start your engine when its -50 C *smirk*)
Emails done ... check
Babbled aimlessly... check
Figured out how on earth to make time slow down just to catch my breath.... err not checked

And the thought of today... Patience is a needless virtue.

My mom had a gathering on the weekend... I Survived New Year's open house kinda fing... I decided to take Devin. He has always refused to meet my parents because he felt intimidated by it. Sure, I have to endure his family (not that that is a bad thing at all!) all the time, but I wanted to share my family with him. So I take him to the party figuring that at least there is no pressure as there will be plenty of people there.
He gets drunk.. great. Then he starts in with Adena's roommate Roger, who is also drunk. By midnight everyone except the small group of Adena, her bf, Roger, Devin and I were left... and they're arguing.. and its getting heated... argh. Time to leave.. NOW. Dad asked if the cars were warm yet after about 4 mins of having returned inside *laugh*

In the car on the way home, Dev starts spewing his usual "You're amazing, you're wonderful, I wish I knew what was wrong with me..." stuff ...and then cuddles up to me on the couch and falls asleep. So I spent the night and got home Sunday I guess about 8pm.

All in all, a nice weekend... the reality is, Devin won't change and I don't expect him to... nice thought, but really, it isn't going to happen.

Bedtime for bonzo, 7am airport run (EWWW) and its getting late.

Hi ma'am (already I'm put off... I am NOT a ma'am..yet) this is Carol calling doing a survey regarding industrial fertilizer for farms. Do you have a moment?

Uhhhh I don't live on a farm.

Are you sure? Let me ask you a couple of qualifying questions to make sure. Do you have property larger than an acre and less than 40 acres?

No

Are you sure?

I'm positive, I live in a single dwelling 4 level split house within the city limits (barely) of Calgary and I have what is fondly termed as a "postage stamp" for a back yard, complete with parking pad in back alley.

Oh well, be assured I am not selling anything.

Thats ok, because be assured I don't live on a farm.

Well thank you for your time, have a nice evening.

G'night.


Ok wtf was that? That was too funny to be real....
So Mother Nature has moved me to Winnipeg, my team lead at work says I have a frog in my throat and why did I move to Quebec and the telemarketer moved me to a farm. Is this a hint to move???

... I moved to Winnipeg. At least that is what it looks like outside. The ambient temp is only about -9 but with the windchill it is about -30 and the blowing snow.... I high centred my car on the way to the store... all in all a fabulously wonderful weather day in Calgary. My collect call to Mother Nature was turned down... she perhaps has insufficient funds to accept it, after all she had to have paid someone to make this mess.

This is a live cam for Calgary. (Left hand side, little snowy blob - well depends when you read this but for now...its blurry snow)

Off to keep warm...

...shamelessly stolen from every other blog I've read in the past few days...

Seems that everyone has a list.. a summary of what happened in 2004 for those too lazy to troll the archives, a list of what may or may not have happened or what you wish had, and general observations of the year in passing.... so here is mine.

- my family has this hugely unique way of becoming more and more dysfunctional with each passing year. We out dysfunction the Osbournes completely and totally. I have two sisters named Tara, I have a step sister named Adena, an ex bf who's brother's name is Dean and his sister's name is Deanna and no one has a clue who I'm talking about when I say "Dean".

- my two best friends in the world are such complete opposites yet exactly alike... so much easier when they do this whole alike thing because I know what I'm dealing with.

- I had a boyfriend who broke up with me but still keeps me around until something better comes along, but denys any and all of it... ok, you have to read the archives because I can't summarize this.

- Planned and performed a wedding for my best friend in 5 weeks.

- Went to Victoria for my birthday with Adena and her bf, grew to hate her bf even more .. 4 days in the same space as him is enough to give me an ulcer.

- Going to Orlando this coming spring break - got a steal of a deal on a rental house for the time we'll be there - granted this didn't happen yet, but we've been planning for some time.

- Going to San Fran in Feb for my best friend's birthday present... again, didn't happen yet, but in the works since Sept.

- Going to Nfld in a couple of weeks... in the works for awhile again. Party on George St!

- got laid a few times aside from the boyfriend stint, all in all good sex... although I think I have had a few Avatar moments this year as well.

And I have learnt that shit happens.. well and truly it happens...

Suck it up princess.. life's hard, get a helmet.

It's cold... damn fucking holy bejeebus cold... -20 and with the windchill its over -30something... After you hit -30, its just numbers (and numbing). And windy..I think that if I speak up now, I may get the chance to open Hawaii...dreamin, but hey gets me through the day.

So, with it being damn fucking holy bejeebus cold, everyone is going outside to start their cars so they're warm before having to leave at 2200'ish. So someone very foolishly locks their keys in their truck. So being the very nice person that I am, tell them that if they don't succeed in getting something sorted or someone that knows how to jimmy in, then I'd call my roadside assistance. I've had it for 4 yrs and never used it for anything, and paid good coin for it, I figured I might as well put it to use. See, with my RSA, its the car I'm driving, not just my car.
After 30 mins of no success with anyone knowing how to break in, I offer up my RSA again and call it in. Now I'm finished work at 2130 and its 2110.
They tell me at my very lovely, thank you, love you, RSA call centre that ETA for the tow truck is 30mins or less (I thought maybe I was ordering a pizza). I was happy grateful, thanked everyone profusely....

Mr Tow Truck Man (who looked like a member of ZZTop) shows up bang on 2130. So off I go to my "car". Like a magician, he had the passenger window down in about 4 mins and we were in. I gush my thanks and am ready to hug the guy who's fingers are probably numb and thank him profusely several hundred times. I sign away my life and off I go in the "car" to the front door of the building. Baring in mind that its damn fucking bejeebus cold, the Someone went back inside seeing as they weren't needed and my "car" was parked in ButtFuck Idaho in the parking lot.

I drive up to the front door and get out, go start my real car and then go give the Someone their keys to my "car".

Not one thank you, not one "how much do I owe you?", not one iota of gushing in gratefulness, nothing. Only just the question of "How much will this cost?" When I replied "Nothing, its covered under my roadside assistance.", they asked if I was working tomorrow. I replied I was and then they hopped into my "car" and drove off into the blithering cold.

I didn't do this to be gushed at, and I didn't do it for the recognition or whatever you're thinking... I did it because I'm far too nice for my own good... but a thank you so much would have made me feel good about it... instead, I wish I hadn't.

So every year, we all make these amazing resolutions and make every attempt to stick with it... If only I had the willpower of a Catholic that gives up chocolate for Lent, I might make it past the first 12 hours for some of them...

This year's current list included:

-quitting smoking - that lasted about 3 minutes because I was drinking at the time.

-quit swearing so much... that lasted 4 hours... I came home and read the comments on Waiter's blog and said fuck within a dozen words

-lose some weight... that lasted til I woke up this morning and spotted the two tins of Quality Street Chocolates I got for Christmas and immediately had a craving for chocolate. For those that don't know me, I am not a chocoholic, I rarely eat it.... but you tell someone once that if they're buying chocolate to get the good stuff, and now that's all they give you....

-to find someone normal in my life.... "Why can't I have a normal boyfriend?!!!" from my favourite movie comes to mind...

So less than 36 hrs into 2005 and I'm failing already *sob* Ah well, Susan Miller says that 2005 is a stellar year for me. I'm looking forward to reap some of whatever she says is coming my way.

I've been reading a few blogs religiously and have had read some with guest bloggers. Might get T to write something here, just because ...

I think I'm going to call it a night. Its 336 am, I'm not tired, but I have a hair appt at noon, an open house at 4 and I apparently work on Monday if I don't feel like el crapola still. I sound like Marlon Brando in the GodFather at the moment.

Well the New Year is about 2 1/4 hrs old as I start this... and already eventful....

I spent New Year's Eve with Devin's ex wife, the man she left Devin for, Devin's sister and one of their friends. Yes what an amazing circle of people I have seemingly fallen into....

I was supposed to go to Devin's and watch movies and hang out with him, but he decided not to answer the phone so I said fuck it, and went out.

Christmas was nice... family stuff. Spoiled children as always. Uneventful.

I have been so sick this month... I hope I can shake whatever it is that I seem to be coming down with now.

Im absolutely exhausted, its been the worst weather week forever, and I am going to go hibernate.

Everyone else seems to have mentioned the catastrophe in Asia, so I will just point you to Waiter and Avatar, they have tonnes of links to assist with donations. Thanks guys, saves me typing. Ya Im a lazy ass.

Happy Holidays all and the merriest of the new year.

K