My "Oh Shit" moment...

As promised way back when, here is my 'Oh Shit' moment.

When I was in school in Toronto doing my degree, I lived with my boyfriend (David) who had already graduated uni and was in the land of the working. David had a grueling Monday-Thursday schedule, but Fridays, he would take off early to make up for it... usually Friday was "date night" or out with friends or something. My Fridays at school were short but early (730am arts&crafts wheeee). This particular Friday, I decided to surprise David as we had made no plans. I beat him home that afternoon and got things sorted for dinner and set the mood for my surprise. Now bearing in mind that I finished school at 130 and was generally home before 3 and David by 330, that didn't give me alot of time.
325ish I have the candles lit, curtains across the balcony door drawn, dinner in the oven and I'm nekkid and handcuffed to the coffee table.
4pm No David, dinner sizzling away.
430 No David, I need to pee.
5pm Phone rings, message on machine "Hi honey, where are you? A few of us are at the Hose & Hydrant, come down when you get this."
545 Phone rings, message on machine "Hi honey? Are you ok? Where are you?"
615 Damnit I need to pee
645 Phone rings, message on machine "Honey, I'm getting worried. Don't come here when you get these, we'll be there in a bit."
720'ish I really freakin need to pee
730'ish I hear voices in the hallway outside the apartment door and I start yelling not to open the door...
Door opens and there stands David and several of our friends who all stop dead in their tracks and stare. David politely ushers them into the kitchen and comes and rescues me. I ran full bore to the bathroom and David follows me "Are you ok?" "I just need to pee" "Are you sure you're ok?" "I'm fine, I just need to pee"
So I gather my composure, throw on a bathrobe and come out to join the party. Silence greets me as I walk in the room followed by nudges and giggles. I gather up my gumption and whip open the bathrobe and announce "This is your last chance, take a good look" and then tied it back on and that ended the giggles. Did not end my mortification for many years, however.. I now can laugh about it.

Now for the mood-wrecking-moment...

When my marriage was in the toilet and we were trying to fix it, we were rather experimental sexually (well he was, it was nothing new to me). He decided to surprise me one afternoon when our daughter was at grandma's. Blindfolded, I was lead to the kitchen and laid out on the kitchen table. I hear drawers opening, cupboards slamming, but I had no idea. Now bearing in mind there are not many foods I dislike, but oysters and honey are two things I despise ew yech gross....
While I was lying there, he had coated his penis in honey little to my knowledge. However, a little too much. This was way above anything he would have ever tried before, so kudos for the effort, but his effort... well, lets say that it made the floor rather slippery and he slid across the lino and fell...
So I ask (cause I can't see) what happened and he tells me... so I start laughing....laughing so hard that I rolled off the table.
So much for that moment.