It's pretty quiet on the home front. Devin's lawyer was served on Monday and there has been absolutely nothing from him - its actually been a bit of a surprise.

I forgot to post that there apparently wasn't enough evidence for a restraining order, so I have been vigilant with doors locked at all times, I screen all calls.. which has probably attributed to the migraine that I have been living with for 3 days. The Aleve takes the edge off and I think "ah relief..." and then it comes creeping back. Im sure it has to do with the muscles in my neck and upper back being tied in knots.

Presleigh has learnt how to spin herself in her crib - I put her in with her head to the right, and she does a 270 degree turn and has toys from the bottom of her crib with her... I found her this morning with her hippo and a rabbit... the hippo was bigger than she was when she was born.

Tomorrow, I'm going back to my pink hair. I miss it. I considered the blue again, but Cass doesn't have the right blue and I'm not quite sure I want the blue haired old lady blue that she does have. So I'm going back to the electric pink. I had stopped with the wild colours when I got pregnant because I figured that it was going to hold some predjudice against me in the hospital and I wanted sane.. (like I was gonna get that in this lifetime, but this was something I could control *laugh*).

Roit, its 130am and I was looking for a shoe and lost the plot...

Today, Sunday (gawd its after midnight already, I need my bed), we are dedicating Presleigh's tree at the Birthplace Forest. I should hopefully have pics and video updated on her blog soonish for that.

The girls are growing so much. Rachel has a boyfriend and apparently they've been dating since June!!!! I found out today when his mom called to ask if Rach was allowed to go to a movie with him! Us moms are always last to know...I feel old now.
Kindergarten... junior high... diapers... omg

This damn song is _stuck_ - much worse than Pink's Who Knew. **

Honey why are you calling me so late
It’s kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can’t be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And yes I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name I
t sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel (And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

I searched YouTube for the offical video, but all I found was live shit - HinderOnline has the real video - this guy, Austin - is whacked. He looks like he is trying to emulate a cross between Steve Tyler and Mick Jagger and failing miserably....

**I blame Duff for this post and it being stuck.

My post about why I was feeling trampled has raised several comments and questions... Most of it was a culmination of all of the crap that has been going on as of late and I truly have tried to not burden people with it because it truly is just a bunch of crap.

I wasn't going to post this because it is taking some time to get sorted, however I will to just explain. Last weekend Devin threatened me twice and I had to take out a retraining order to protect my family and myself. The police were freakin useless and because I didn't manage to get the threats on tape (remember, the tape ran out), they refused to take a report or do anything about other than cause a commotion on my street when they showed up with not one, but two cars. They refused to accept that previously he had threatened me with a knife as I didn't report it then (hindsight is 20/20). So that has been bothering me quite a bit because it took several days to get it sorted out with my lawyer and the courts and I felt pretty vulnerable.

Add to it, my father is being a shit. He has received his inheritance from my Granny and has decided he is going to buy himself a little truck. Thats great, wonderful.. have at 'er. He has also given my sister 10 grand to get her book published (she has the final edit copy in her hands and should be out by Christmas!). I don't begrudge him any of this, its his money. However, I really could use either some money to do some serious work on my car, or let me have his Honda that he has. Its a 2000 Civic and has just shy of 150,000kms on it and its a nice 4 door car. So when he said that he was looking to get himself a truck, I said "That'd be cool, then I could fly out and visit you for a few days and drive the Honda back to Calgary. ha ha" He went off on some tangent about helping a perfect stranger who lives somewhere in Toronto that he has apparently fallen in love with but has never met, deserves the car more than I do.
Then other family members promising things and then they fail to do them...

I'm worried about Presleigh and that things aren't going to be good news when we go see the OT Therapist after Thanksgiving.

I'm worried about my brother... he cut his foot playing football with his kids and got an E Coli infection that he is on his third round of antibiotics with a PIC IV and constant antibiotics and they can't kill the infection and if it doesn't get better with this round, they may have to amputate some toes...

Then being worried about my cat. It had to be done. He was sick and old and had no teeth and it was the kindest thing to do... but the hardest.

And last but not least, someone I love..and have for a very long time... is going through some shit that I can't help them with... things that I guess that I can't comprehend, but I am trying to be as understanding as I can... we all know patience isn't one of the virtues I possess, but I'm trying.

So hence the post... now you know.

I had to put my kittycat, McCoy down yesterday. We adopted him from the SPCA 12 yrs ago. He was going to be put down the day after we saw him if he wasn't adopted as he was an older cat and he was crippled. He had a sign on his cage that said "I'm a love bug". He was huge and furry and when we took him out of the cage, he wrapped himself around my neck and started purring. He stayed there for two days after we brought him home. He'd been abandoned for over a month in a vacant apartment and was starved for attention.
When we adopted him, the vet said he was between 8 and 10 yrs old, so if you split the difference, he was 21 yrs old! He had lost most of his teeth in recent months and he was vomitting everywhere and losing weight...

Rest In Peas

...what it is that I do or don't do that gives off the vibe that it is ok to walk all over me? Am I not firm enough when I say No, I'm sorry I can't/won't/shouldn't? Or is it that I don't say no enough? Am I just too nice?

I've really tried in recent months to not be a doormat.

I thought that I was clear. I thought that I said things clearly, concisely, and didn't leave room for error in anything.

Why do I deserve to be treated with anything less than respect and honesty and integrity?

Why do I always have to be last?

This is just...wow

This chick has talent

This just has to be someone else's doing...

Video quality isn't the best.. this has been stuck for a couple of weeks now..

You know, I spent 4 hours last night transcribing the tapes and getting bothered by it and I spent today just decompressing. Until 1005pm.

Once again he calls and completely disrupts my life. He screamed and carried on again and I said to him several times "Did I not say in my last message that if you're going to call and scream at me to not call here? I don't do this to you, so enough!"

Unfortunately my tapes were in complete disarray from last nights transcription so I just grabbed a tape and started recording but unfortunately, there wasn't much left on the tape so I didn't get it all... but the general gist was that he doesn't accept that her prematurity is going to follow her until she catches up - he won't listen to that, and he thinks that I'm a horrible mother and he's now going to call Social Services on me because I'm not forcing her to sit up on her own or roll over. *sigh*

Everyone keeps telling me that I should just let his calls go to voice mail, however, he has the right to ask about her - and yeah I have the right to hang up. Which is why I told him on the third time that if he continued to call me names and be ignorant and swearing that the conversation was going to end as we were both adults and it wasn't neccessary behaviour.

Oh yes he was drunk. Very.

And he quit his job two weeks ago. He starts a new job Monday. So now all I will hear is the whinging about how he can't catch up because he was out pays etc.. but thats Devin for ya.
He said he wished me dead. Great. I can't wait for this all to be done.

Presleigh's appointments aside, I had an appointment with my lawyer today that took nearly 2 months to finally get sorted to happen. In all likelyhood, he will assume that I reacted to his screaming phone call and that all that is about to happen is as a result of that - however, its been in the works since July - since the day he refused to give me permission to go away to the States for holidays. Everything was adjourned from today, as we expected it to be, as they've had zero prep time (early bird gets the worm again!) and hopefully in late September things will be ironed out on paper and I can get on with living my life. I work for an airline and get amazing discounts to travel all over the world, and I can't even get to Montana by car because he's holding us hostage.

I discovered today that I am going to need to do a will because if I have nothing written out, he is considered guardian as he has been declared a parent and he would have to do absolutely nothing to ensure any visitation is done with my parents or any one else in my family. So in discussion with my mom, I will appoint her guardian and I will discuss with my sister that if she will become guardian should my mom not be physically capable (ie due to age or she passes before me). I thought about what happens if its 15 years from now, Rach will be 28 - would she want to assume guardianship? But thats alot of responsibility to put onto Rach and ask of her now when she's not capable of making an adult decision. So I will talk it out with my sister and ask that if Rach wants to assume that guardianship, that my sister not stand in her way but that the decision would ultimately be Dee's.
As for Rach, Scott obviously would be her guardian and if he and I pass at the same time or if he predeceases me, again my mom and my sister.
In the cases of sole custody, the will passes down whatever rights I have over to the next guardian.
How morbid can I make a post?

Here, let me try...

For my documentation, I spent 4 hours today going through the recorded conversations with Devin that I have as I was asked to transcribe them. Ya know, I haven't had any stress with his calls as of late because I've been able to just laugh most of the time however, they got me down today. To listen to him say things like "Nope, don't want to see her, I'm done, so no fuck you" and "you're playing stupid assed games" and the best one of all "fuck you asswipe" its like reliving it all over again. I'd have preferred to just hand over the tapes and let someone else listen to the crap.

I just hope this is all over with before the year's end so I can just move along and put it all behind me.

That's what kind of day it's been...

Since posting the lyrics (without permission of course) to the Pink song, Who Knew (which is once again stuck in my head), my stat counter has gone through the roof with people searching for various bits of the lyrics...curiousity always gets the better of me, so I often click to see where my blog shows up in the list based on their word pattern search - I'm always amazed to see that its somewhere in the top 10-15 on google. I must be doing something right.

That is all nice n peachy... here's my whinge of the day since that I don't want to post whinging on Presleigh's blog.

We went to the doctor today after we've had several sessions of physio for her head/neck and the PT reported back to the doctor (which I knew he was going to do) that he recommends we be seen by a neurologist as he'd like us to rule out Cerebral Palsy. CP is now judged in 5 stages, and whilst Presleigh's MRI was clear of anything as far as major CP (stages 2-5) is concerned, there is a possibility of some muscular issues. Her right arm is impossible to get her to bend it at the elbow which makes dressing her a chore and feeding her interesting as she will stick her elbow into me rather than bend it. Her doctor agreed today that she should be seen as well as getting her in for Occupational Therapy at Children's because if the OT figures she needs to be seen by neurology sooner, they can push for it and make it happen quicker. The wait time for a neurology appointment is between a year to 18 months *sigh*.

We also appear to have some feeding issues. She doesn't seem to be at all interested on what is on the spoon. She'll play with the empty spoon, she'll yank the bowl out of my hands, and she's quite content to do anything but eat. She isn't strong enough to sit up on her own yet, so the high chair is out - the exersaucer gives her the support, but I don't want her to associate it with playing... car seat - nope, and the bouncy chair doesn't give her enough back support and she's too big for her swing.

I've seen several pictures of the Bumbo seat on several blogs, but seeing Kaitlyn in hers yesterday made me decide that maybe we ought to go that route. So tomorrow I'm off in search of the Bumbo seat at Bo Bebe. I also need some more hangers as Misses Presleigh's closet is going to burst at the seams and she still has more clothes to hang up. For the record, I love the presents, but no more clothes for now. :-)

Ok, whinge over...

I was saddened about the passing of Steve 'The Crocodile Hunter' Irwin. He may have been rather crazy with the things he did with wild animals, however, he has contributed many a science lesson to this house. Its rumoured that a sting ray barb pierced his chest while he was filming underwater near Port Douglas, Australia.

Look, I found the Corrs!