OMG there was finally some follow through. And none too soon.

The alternator in my car has given up the ghost. Nothing like limping home with someone following you with booster cables. Its been a fantastic day.

Calling around for an alternator... prices vary from $138 with trade in of old, to $332 for a refurb with zilch warranty and then $80 credit given with old one. Ummmm more than 50% difference? *boggle*
Well I need my car sooner rather than later, and even though there was some monies deposited finally, its going to be cutting it close. Might have to make a trek to Pick Your Part and take my chances.

Here's some recent photos of Miss Presleigh. We can all thank Penny for me finally getting my act together and uploading my camera.



Happy Bath!



Lunch!

Now that it has been confirmed that she is his biological child (as I've said before, like there was any doubt), I expected he would want to see her. So I bent over backwards this week to accomodate him. He cancelled 3 times. So I am done bending.

Then he decided to hold me ransom by leaving support money at his mother's house so that I could take Presleigh to see his mother. I asked him to put it in my bank account and he had the account information, instead he chose not to. So I told his mother that I refuse to be held up for ransom and it isn't fair to her to be put in the middle and neither is it her responsibility. She can come see Presleigh whenever she wants, and I have made that clear from the beginning.

So again, I am done bending. Sorry if it isn't convenient, but I am busy.

And the court order is in place effective June 1 and he has to start catching up too.

... I wish I did.

I was reminded tonight that apparently that I knew what I was getting myself into with being a single mother and being stressed out was all part n parcel of same.

I'm stressed out due to money ... or lack of it I guess. Its pretty difficult when I was sick my entire pregnancy and made zilch last year and hence my EI benefits are next to nothing and I'm getting a few dollars here and there from Devin.

And I thought that I could share my issues and my problems with someone. To them, I am sorry if I was negative and I'm sorry if I was harping. But as I said, I thought that I was able to share those things.

This has been a long road emotionally. I have doubted everything that I thought I had learnt about myself. I have had to try and figure out what I knew and what is right and what is rightside up.

As for focusing on the positives...I have no doubts about how to raise my daughters. I have tried my utmost to do what is best for each of them. I kept Rachel out of my relationship with Devin, perhaps subconsciously, to protect her. And now, I will do whatever it takes to protect Presleigh.

As for taking responsibility... I have taken 100% responsibility. I have never once said "This is all his fault." In fact, I have yet to blame him for anything. Sure, I have said things about him and his behaviour. But not one word of it being his fault. You know, until you walk a mile in my shoes, don't lecture me on taking responsibility.
I have taken Devin to task and made him accountable financially. Emotionally, she doesn't need him, she has enough positive male influences in her life. I have been responsible for every aspect of her upbringing so far. I have made the sacrifices (positive sacrifices) in my life to do what I chose to do. I have already acknowledged that my mistake was in chosing him. But not in choosing her.

99.9% he is her biological father. Like we didn't know that.

Now, cough up the bucks asshole.

I'm not sure what this is going to be about other than some ramblings that just fall out of my head at 530am. Presleigh just finished her bottle and is back in bed and here I sit, wide awake and not in my bed where I want to be.

She's pretty much sleeping 8 solid hours these days, so I need to get her moved to going to bed at about 1030/11 so that the 8 hrs is until a more human morning hour. 5am isn't very pretty yet... another month or so and it will be...however, I am _not_ a morning person.

The Test Results(tm) are to be available after 330pm Vancouver time today...Even though I know the results, I'm still anxious to have the answer.

On Mother's Day, Presleigh and I have been invited to the NICU graduation ceremonies that are part of a Mother's Day Walk & Run. And then we've been invited to one of the Cows for a BBQ where the other more evil Cow and her Steer will be. It will be interesting as I'm not even sure they're aware of her yet. Which is ok.

I am hoping he comes through with support this Friday as it is starting to get tight around here as my EI is pennies to cover her and my needs let alone anything for Rachel. After my absolute must pay bills are paid, we're down to almost nothing for 2 weeks... so fingers crossed. Granted, I have my pay from Stats Canada coming... but again... sooner rather than later please. He is over $1500 behind in support and its only May and we don't go to court for another 10 days.

I painted more pottery last week... it is my new addiction. I painted some tiles that go inside of a wrought iron piece that will hang in my kitchen. If I had more disposable money, I could see myself making an entire dinnerware set. And mugs.. and and and. Its dangerous! On Wednesday, Mom has a glass fusion class at the studio and I had ordered some letters to spell Presleigh's name on a plate, so I will at least get my addiction fed this week. Mom had painted the coolest thing last week at the studio as well.. a cowboy had that is also a chip & dip bowl. Its very cool.

Roit, its now 6am, I'm going to try and go back to bed before Miss Presleigh is up for the day.

My NASCAR driver is Elliot Sadler who drives the #38 M&Ms car... this week's paint scheme is Pirates of The Carribean with the white chocolate M&M wearing a pirate eye patch... gotta get me one of those cars :-)

Oh and for kicks and giggles, results will be available next week from the Expensive Test We All Know The Answer To(tm). I shall sit and laugh. And when he comes to pay support, I will point and laugh.

And if blogger doesn't stop having a coniption fit with my video card, I'm gonna beat it up. ;-)

Hmmm 74 working days... thats 592 hours.... hmmm

Other than that, its been hectic doing the Census... lemme just say, I _have_ to ask the questions people, don't get mad at me.