I don't have all the answers...

... I wish I did.

I was reminded tonight that apparently that I knew what I was getting myself into with being a single mother and being stressed out was all part n parcel of same.

I'm stressed out due to money ... or lack of it I guess. Its pretty difficult when I was sick my entire pregnancy and made zilch last year and hence my EI benefits are next to nothing and I'm getting a few dollars here and there from Devin.

And I thought that I could share my issues and my problems with someone. To them, I am sorry if I was negative and I'm sorry if I was harping. But as I said, I thought that I was able to share those things.

This has been a long road emotionally. I have doubted everything that I thought I had learnt about myself. I have had to try and figure out what I knew and what is right and what is rightside up.

As for focusing on the positives...I have no doubts about how to raise my daughters. I have tried my utmost to do what is best for each of them. I kept Rachel out of my relationship with Devin, perhaps subconsciously, to protect her. And now, I will do whatever it takes to protect Presleigh.

As for taking responsibility... I have taken 100% responsibility. I have never once said "This is all his fault." In fact, I have yet to blame him for anything. Sure, I have said things about him and his behaviour. But not one word of it being his fault. You know, until you walk a mile in my shoes, don't lecture me on taking responsibility.
I have taken Devin to task and made him accountable financially. Emotionally, she doesn't need him, she has enough positive male influences in her life. I have been responsible for every aspect of her upbringing so far. I have made the sacrifices (positive sacrifices) in my life to do what I chose to do. I have already acknowledged that my mistake was in chosing him. But not in choosing her.