Tim's mom called tonight... the benefit for Sera, his daughter, will be on Nov 6th at Sheraton Eau Claire at 8pm with a silent auction as well as 50/50 draw and 4 comics performing.
Tickets are $15 and available very soon and also at the door.
Not sure if anyone reading this will care.. however... posting it anyway.

I made some errors with respect to how Tim passed away and needed to correct them....
He had been sick most of August and I remember talking online with him several times and him saying that he felt just ugly sick.
He went to two separate clinics and both doctors told him the same thing... lose 100lbs, quit smoking and here's some antibiotics... without doing a chest xray or blood work.
He went to Edmonton on Aug 20/21 to do shows at the Comedy Factory in Edmonton. On the 21, he was so sick he could not perform and called 911 from his room later that night and ended up in a coma in the hospital. He died 10 days later after a blood clot in his lung caused complications.

Twice last night I felt Tim with me. When I was blogging what had transpired, he was here with me. I felt him starting to leave and I asked him to stay til I was finished. I then got a tingle on the back of my neck and he was here.. til I finished. Then tonight, I went out as I needed to just get out of here.... when I was driving home, Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World came on the radio.. which is the last song Tim sang on the cd we were working with last night. I hope he enjoyed the car ride (and my singing along).
I hope he continues the visits. I am enjoying them... And I'm also sure half of you think I'm whacked, but.... I'm taking what I can from this.

And on the other family note... my granny is being released tomorrow. My mom is flying to Ottawa to help my sister tomorrow morning and I get to do the loverly a/p run at 7am ..eerugh. They are not releasing Granny to home, they are releasing her to a nursing home facility in my home town.

Anyways, more another time...
KML

Tim

May 19 2002, in a chat room, I met Cardsharpe. We chat, turns out we're pretty similar people and then talk voice for a couple of hours.. and at 4am, we decide to go 'golfing' in Chestermere. Cardsharpe is Tim Stuart. Tim is pretty hot and I enjoy his company. We use picnic tables in Chestermere for a driving range and launch golf balls into Chestermere Lake before we realize we're frozen and go to Humpty's and eat and talk and talk and talk and all of a sudden its 9am. He needs to go home to see his family as his Aunt Linda was terminally ill and they expected any moment, as well he needed to let his mom know he wasn't missing as she had his daughter, Sera. Curled up in his van outside of my house, we're really comfortable. Liking each other lots too. He says he will come back to my place later that afternoon and we can hang out.
He comes back and we spend the weekend. He had organized life on his end with my phone number for contact. In the midst of eatting Chinese food on my bed on Monday afternoon and Tim breaking into bits of "You big man, get away from my buffet", the phone rings and Tim has to go. His aunt has passed away.
That was our first "date". We continued to see each other on and off for quite some time. We both have relationships, date other people, but come back to each other for some reason or another.
The last time I saw Tim was the week between Devin and my first date and the day Devin asked me to be his girlfriend... so that would have been around the 1st or 2nd of July'ish.
Today, Colin called me and asked to borrow some software. I couldn't find it and then remembered that I had loaned it to Tim in May. I had forgotten his phone number, however, I knew that I had a saved voicemail that was now over 2 yrs old from Tim (it had two phone #s in it) and I knew the envelope of that voicemail had the house # for his parents where he lived and where I had delivered the software in May.
I dial and his father answers.
"May I speak to Tim please?" I ask politely.
"I beg your pardon?"
So thinking Mr Stuart is hard of hearing, I ask again.
"May I speak to Tim please?"
I get a couple of umms and I ask "Has he moved again?"
"No dear, Tim passed away on Aug 31st"
My stomach has been kicked in. I pause and apologise and explain that I needed my software back. He takes my name and number and says he will look and will call me back. He calls me back and he has it in his hands. I ask if its convenient for me to come over this evening and pick it up and he agrees. His wife, Myrna, stops him from telling me what happened. So I stew.

I spent the better part of 2 1/2 hrs with the Stuarts this evening. When I pulled up outside, I pleaded silently with Tim to come with me and to give me strength as I was going into a place I had been to do things his parents would have heart failure if they knew. *smile*

When chatting with the Stuarts, I discovered that they were doing their best to raise Sera and doing an amazing job and they were also doing their best to keep Tim's memory alive with a commerative cd with him singing and a fundraiser that people are putting on for Sera at the Sheraton sometime soon. But Mr Stuart was arguing with the software to make the cd labels. So off I go to assist. We make labels, we make cd covers and we chat. We try to play the cd with the label on it as we had had trouble aligning it properly and it won't play. He takes it upstairs to try the stereo and it does play and we decide that it must be that the computer cd player just can't read it. Then it just starts. That was my sign that Tim had come with me.

Tim is a spitting image of his father which was very eerie... was hard to look at him and not see Tim when he would have been 60.

Tim passed away due to virual pneumonia. He had gone to the doctor here in Calgary and was told "Lose 100lbs, quit smoking" and given antibiotics. That was on Aug 17th. On Aug 30, still no better, Tim went to Edmonton to do shows. On the 31st, he was so ill he couldn't perform and called 911 later from his hotel room as he could not breath and died shortly there after at University Hospital. He is buried in High River currently without a marker. I will do my best to trek out there as soon as I can, however, may be better to wait til spring til there is a marker.

I have many memories of various things including him singing Shameless by Garth Brooks at my demand several times, 'golfing', Chinese buffet man, women's product commercials, now this cd with Holly Holy on it, watching all four seasons of Family Man on dvd til we both fell asleep, kidnappings at 2am and "Holy horndog".

I asked him to stay with me while I wrote this, and thats gonna sound cheesy to most of you, but I know he's here... I've edited most of this for content and SC17 viewers (and my mother).. but I'm certain he's aware that there was more to us than just those memories and that I do remember them all. I didn't know until today that I needed to miss him, but I will more than I do today.

Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future you planned
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Love Kristin

...............
And on another note.. the stupid hospital where my granny is... they took her to do surgery on Friday, but didn't take her personal things like her purse, her coat or her medication dosette with her on the gurney.. Housekeeping came in, gathered up the entire bed, purse, coat, dosette and all and threw it in the laundry.
There was alot of cash in her purse, her keys, her credit card... and she's also depressed and they wont give her anti depressants because they lost her dosette and dont know what meds or dosage she was on... argh. Its getting worse every day..........
I'm getting off the bus and I'm going to go cry.

I forgot to blog about Baby Daniel...

He's growing now finally. He was very ill... remember the 245 am escape with Devin's ex wife I think I blogged about ..maybe I forgot to blog that.. anyways, they were taking him to the hospital. He has pyloric stenosis. Devin had the same thing when he was a baby too. What is that you ask?

What Is Pyloric Stenosis?
Pyloric stenosis is a narrowing of the pylorus, the lower part of the stomach through which food and other stomach contents pass to enter the small intestine. When an infant has pyloric stenosis, the muscles in the pylorus have become enlarged to the point where food is prevented from emptying out of the stomach.

Basically, the muscle thickens for an unknown reason - there are hypothesis that it is due to allergic reaction, maternal hormones or the baby's body lacks the receptors to detect nitric oxide which is the chemical that tells the pyloric muscle to relax. So the baby projectile vomits and is usually hungry immed afterwards. This is most common in first born sons and it affects 3 out of every 1000 babies.
Devin wasn't first born but Daniel is...weirdnesssss but it is heriditary.

Anyways, now Im really off the bus

I have promised myself that I wouldn't update/post/blog/blather until I had something positive to say because I got tired of Devin shit and the negative impact it was having on my life... however, I have had the shittiest 36 hrs in absolute ages and I need to just vent...

I got awoken on Wednesday morning at 0800 with the strangest sound.. the phone.. who the fuck calls me at 0800 unless they're trying to sell me something...
"May I speak to Kristin please?" comes this very professionally cool voice. "Speaking" I groggle out in my half asleep haze after answering the phone with "I listen to Jack" (they're going to call me one day, I know, I believe).
"Kristin, this is Joan from CCAC in Ottawa with respect to your grandmother, Lenore." Ok, I'm awake now, bolt upright. If they're calling me, they can't find my sister who has power of attorney and something _bad_ has happened.
"Yes?" I manage to choke out.
"Kristin, Penny the Paramed caregiver went to your grandmother's this morning and she can't get into the house, which I understand is very unusual and she is concerned that there is a problem. We do understand that she had a dentist appointment this week, but unsure of when that is and nor can we reach your sister, Heather (ed: Heather=Deedee=Dee). We have checked with Mrs Seto and we can't reach Rosa either. (rosa = nite caregiver, Mrs Seto=neighbour and Rosa's sister)"
So after 90 mins of tracking my sister or trying to at least, multiple calls to various places trying to glean as much information as I can, and best of all, having to call my dad who, if you've read earlier postings, I haven't spoken to since 2001 - I send the police. I'm in Calgary trying to dispatch police with various bits of information - break in, take a locksmith, double deadbolts, need a window take this window so you can get in without smashing antiques, she has a DNR order on file, so no heroics please....my poor mother listened to me cry and freak out many many many times while we waited....and waited..

Then the stupid stupid stupid police call me... "Hi Kristin, we're at the house and are you aware of anyone that has a key to the house in the city?" "The next door neighbour on the west side, however, she is apparently not home according to the caregiver that reported she couldn't get in." "Who was it that reported it?" "Penny with Paramed, however, I received the call from CCAC" "Well, we are at the house, and we see something inside and we don't want to break in." HELLO? Im thinking, if you see her, get her to open the door if she's standing/sitting... she's profoundly deaf, so there are certain lights that flash for the doorbell, others for the phone for her TTY and the like...
"We don't want to scare her by having many officers breaking into her house and she doesn't seem to be coming to the door."
Ok, wait a minute, back up the bus... SHE IS NOT COMING TO THE DOOR BECAUSE SHE ISN'T ABLE TO OR SHE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR PENNY! eieieieieieieie
"What is it that you are seeing?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know"
WHAT do you mean you don't know??? lawd tunderin jeebus H christ, what part of this am I missing???
"Are you seeing her sitting in her chair, eyes closed? How are you seeing in? Are the drapes still drawn? Is she lying on the floor?? What?"
"I don't know, but they're afraid of scaring her?"
Now I know my father has been calling every 5 minutes and letting it ring and ring and ring and he's well aware that the police are at the house...so Im trying to figure out if the 'what' they're seeing is flashing lights or if its a person... still now, nearly 48 hrs later, I still don't know.
I suggested that they write BIG letters on a paper that said "Police, open the door" or something if they are seeing her and she's not coming to the door because she's scared or something...
I dunno..
But, she's safe, but injured.. she had fallen and has a complicated fracture to her right elbow and she's severely dehydrated and now admitted into the hospital.

The rest of the crap is long and complicated but lets just say that I think that it will be a huge blessing that she not survive the surgery on her arm tomorrow as I think that moving her to the home in the same town as my sister and dad (who abuses her verbally, emotionally and has been known to be physically abusive as well) is just such a bad idea....

Anyways... I'm still baffled by it all, but out of my hands...
either that, or I pray for her to pass the competency test so she can go home (which is bad because its unsafe)

Anyways, this stress bucket is off to bed

I promised T I would update this, however, being limited on time this morning, you're going to get the reader's digest condensed version of the past however many days....
I'm an idiot. Plain and simple. I slept with Devin because I'm stupid. He was charming, spoiled me rotten and I fell hook line and sinker and then he treated me like shit... there ya go. I just hope she is worth losing me for.

However, my war with the Calgary Board of Ed seems to be forging forward. My trustee has passed on my plea to someone else other than the transportation manager. We'll see how that goes. Maybe, just maybe, we'll get a bus stop for Rach soon... fingers and eyes crossed.
Roit, 0530 start, time to go find Tim Horton's.