So much for being positive...
May 19 2002, in a chat room, I met Cardsharpe. We chat, turns out we're pretty similar people and then talk voice for a couple of hours.. and at 4am, we decide to go 'golfing' in Chestermere. Cardsharpe is Tim Stuart. Tim is pretty hot and I enjoy his company. We use picnic tables in Chestermere for a driving range and launch golf balls into Chestermere Lake before we realize we're frozen and go to Humpty's and eat and talk and talk and talk and all of a sudden its 9am. He needs to go home to see his family as his Aunt Linda was terminally ill and they expected any moment, as well he needed to let his mom know he wasn't missing as she had his daughter, Sera. Curled up in his van outside of my house, we're really comfortable. Liking each other lots too. He says he will come back to my place later that afternoon and we can hang out.
He comes back and we spend the weekend. He had organized life on his end with my phone number for contact. In the midst of eatting Chinese food on my bed on Monday afternoon and Tim breaking into bits of "You big man, get away from my buffet", the phone rings and Tim has to go. His aunt has passed away.
That was our first "date". We continued to see each other on and off for quite some time. We both have relationships, date other people, but come back to each other for some reason or another.
The last time I saw Tim was the week between Devin and my first date and the day Devin asked me to be his girlfriend... so that would have been around the 1st or 2nd of July'ish.
Today, Colin called me and asked to borrow some software. I couldn't find it and then remembered that I had loaned it to Tim in May. I had forgotten his phone number, however, I knew that I had a saved voicemail that was now over 2 yrs old from Tim (it had two phone #s in it) and I knew the envelope of that voicemail had the house # for his parents where he lived and where I had delivered the software in May.
I dial and his father answers.
"May I speak to Tim please?" I ask politely.
"I beg your pardon?"
So thinking Mr Stuart is hard of hearing, I ask again.
"May I speak to Tim please?"
I get a couple of umms and I ask "Has he moved again?"
"No dear, Tim passed away on Aug 31st"
My stomach has been kicked in. I pause and apologise and explain that I needed my software back. He takes my name and number and says he will look and will call me back. He calls me back and he has it in his hands. I ask if its convenient for me to come over this evening and pick it up and he agrees. His wife, Myrna, stops him from telling me what happened. So I stew.
I spent the better part of 2 1/2 hrs with the Stuarts this evening. When I pulled up outside, I pleaded silently with Tim to come with me and to give me strength as I was going into a place I had been to do things his parents would have heart failure if they knew. *smile*
When chatting with the Stuarts, I discovered that they were doing their best to raise Sera and doing an amazing job and they were also doing their best to keep Tim's memory alive with a commerative cd with him singing and a fundraiser that people are putting on for Sera at the Sheraton sometime soon. But Mr Stuart was arguing with the software to make the cd labels. So off I go to assist. We make labels, we make cd covers and we chat. We try to play the cd with the label on it as we had had trouble aligning it properly and it won't play. He takes it upstairs to try the stereo and it does play and we decide that it must be that the computer cd player just can't read it. Then it just starts. That was my sign that Tim had come with me.
Tim is a spitting image of his father which was very eerie... was hard to look at him and not see Tim when he would have been 60.
Tim passed away due to virual pneumonia. He had gone to the doctor here in Calgary and was told "Lose 100lbs, quit smoking" and given antibiotics. That was on Aug 17th. On Aug 30, still no better, Tim went to Edmonton to do shows. On the 31st, he was so ill he couldn't perform and called 911 later from his hotel room as he could not breath and died shortly there after at University Hospital. He is buried in High River currently without a marker. I will do my best to trek out there as soon as I can, however, may be better to wait til spring til there is a marker.
I have many memories of various things including him singing Shameless by Garth Brooks at my demand several times, 'golfing', Chinese buffet man, women's product commercials, now this cd with Holly Holy on it, watching all four seasons of Family Man on dvd til we both fell asleep, kidnappings at 2am and "Holy horndog".
I asked him to stay with me while I wrote this, and thats gonna sound cheesy to most of you, but I know he's here... I've edited most of this for content and SC17 viewers (and my mother).. but I'm certain he's aware that there was more to us than just those memories and that I do remember them all. I didn't know until today that I needed to miss him, but I will more than I do today.
Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future you planned
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Love Kristin
...............
And on another note.. the stupid hospital where my granny is... they took her to do surgery on Friday, but didn't take her personal things like her purse, her coat or her medication dosette with her on the gurney.. Housekeeping came in, gathered up the entire bed, purse, coat, dosette and all and threw it in the laundry.
There was alot of cash in her purse, her keys, her credit card... and she's also depressed and they wont give her anti depressants because they lost her dosette and dont know what meds or dosage she was on... argh. Its getting worse every day..........
I'm getting off the bus and I'm going to go cry.
He comes back and we spend the weekend. He had organized life on his end with my phone number for contact. In the midst of eatting Chinese food on my bed on Monday afternoon and Tim breaking into bits of "You big man, get away from my buffet", the phone rings and Tim has to go. His aunt has passed away.
That was our first "date". We continued to see each other on and off for quite some time. We both have relationships, date other people, but come back to each other for some reason or another.
The last time I saw Tim was the week between Devin and my first date and the day Devin asked me to be his girlfriend... so that would have been around the 1st or 2nd of July'ish.
Today, Colin called me and asked to borrow some software. I couldn't find it and then remembered that I had loaned it to Tim in May. I had forgotten his phone number, however, I knew that I had a saved voicemail that was now over 2 yrs old from Tim (it had two phone #s in it) and I knew the envelope of that voicemail had the house # for his parents where he lived and where I had delivered the software in May.
I dial and his father answers.
"May I speak to Tim please?" I ask politely.
"I beg your pardon?"
So thinking Mr Stuart is hard of hearing, I ask again.
"May I speak to Tim please?"
I get a couple of umms and I ask "Has he moved again?"
"No dear, Tim passed away on Aug 31st"
My stomach has been kicked in. I pause and apologise and explain that I needed my software back. He takes my name and number and says he will look and will call me back. He calls me back and he has it in his hands. I ask if its convenient for me to come over this evening and pick it up and he agrees. His wife, Myrna, stops him from telling me what happened. So I stew.
I spent the better part of 2 1/2 hrs with the Stuarts this evening. When I pulled up outside, I pleaded silently with Tim to come with me and to give me strength as I was going into a place I had been to do things his parents would have heart failure if they knew. *smile*
When chatting with the Stuarts, I discovered that they were doing their best to raise Sera and doing an amazing job and they were also doing their best to keep Tim's memory alive with a commerative cd with him singing and a fundraiser that people are putting on for Sera at the Sheraton sometime soon. But Mr Stuart was arguing with the software to make the cd labels. So off I go to assist. We make labels, we make cd covers and we chat. We try to play the cd with the label on it as we had had trouble aligning it properly and it won't play. He takes it upstairs to try the stereo and it does play and we decide that it must be that the computer cd player just can't read it. Then it just starts. That was my sign that Tim had come with me.
Tim is a spitting image of his father which was very eerie... was hard to look at him and not see Tim when he would have been 60.
Tim passed away due to virual pneumonia. He had gone to the doctor here in Calgary and was told "Lose 100lbs, quit smoking" and given antibiotics. That was on Aug 17th. On Aug 30, still no better, Tim went to Edmonton to do shows. On the 31st, he was so ill he couldn't perform and called 911 later from his hotel room as he could not breath and died shortly there after at University Hospital. He is buried in High River currently without a marker. I will do my best to trek out there as soon as I can, however, may be better to wait til spring til there is a marker.
I have many memories of various things including him singing Shameless by Garth Brooks at my demand several times, 'golfing', Chinese buffet man, women's product commercials, now this cd with Holly Holy on it, watching all four seasons of Family Man on dvd til we both fell asleep, kidnappings at 2am and "Holy horndog".
I asked him to stay with me while I wrote this, and thats gonna sound cheesy to most of you, but I know he's here... I've edited most of this for content and SC17 viewers (and my mother).. but I'm certain he's aware that there was more to us than just those memories and that I do remember them all. I didn't know until today that I needed to miss him, but I will more than I do today.
Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future you planned
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Love Kristin
...............
And on another note.. the stupid hospital where my granny is... they took her to do surgery on Friday, but didn't take her personal things like her purse, her coat or her medication dosette with her on the gurney.. Housekeeping came in, gathered up the entire bed, purse, coat, dosette and all and threw it in the laundry.
There was alot of cash in her purse, her keys, her credit card... and she's also depressed and they wont give her anti depressants because they lost her dosette and dont know what meds or dosage she was on... argh. Its getting worse every day..........
I'm getting off the bus and I'm going to go cry.
posted by Kristin at 10/25/2004 01:59:00 AM
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