Just The Other Day....

Hi

2007-10-01T04:48:00.001-06:00

Its been a wee while since I've posted, so I figured I'd post a long babble of whats up...

In late August, P & I went to Fort Mac to see D. He and I managed to resolve some issues and I got the truth, finally. At the time TTW had moved out for over 2 months.. however, she is back now and *gasp* just a few short weeks later, they are getting married in a couple of weeks. *laugh*

I made every effort to ensure that we were available for him, and he failed to follow thru on anything he promised to do... surprise surprise. Last conversation he threatened me with court again and I expect to be served at any moment. In speaking with my lawyer, this is alot of hot air, but gotta go thru it.

I was in a car accident in June, where I was rear ended whilst at a dead stop. I have not been to work since the beginning of August and I was actually doing very well in physio and started to not be in so much pain... until this past Friday. I haven't slept more than a few hours here n there since Thurs night... so... gonna hafta change the game plan again.

I'm a little befuddled in people too at the moment and really wish that people would find a way to either stop making promises they dont intend to keep or follow thru with what they promise... this is not directed at anyone that reads this, its just people in general...

Anyways, 5am and Im still awake... fark.

Nickelshit

2007-08-13T01:41:00.001-06:00

I've previously posted about how irritated I became with Nickelback during their 24hrs of Nickelback promo tour...

Well, recently I've become more irritated with the quantity that they are being played on the radio..to the point where even the songs I liked are now a waste of space... Llamas are being killed around the world every time a Nickelback song is played..seriously.

Then I found this...

Nickelback

Make sure you have your speakers on and be prepared for your ears to bleed.

Ah well, at least I don't have to deal with his flunkies that apparently wander in and out of his house with no regard for the alarm system anymore.

On a different topic..

I am very sorry that I have been very down and negative the past few days. My plate is very full and I cracked. I'm in so much physical pain because of my accident and not being able to get to physio for a week (doesn't sound like long, but believe me, I'm feeling every day that I haven't been) isn't helping, the stress because the owner of the car that hit me (the driver is not the owner or insured) is holding up the process to get liability handled and I have to come up with my deductible by Tuesday to get my car back. Mind you, I could keep the rental for 2 weeks and still be under the max for my rental car limit. Added to all of this, a friend's brother passed away last week, and P and I have been alone for 10 days so its been difficult to do anything around the house because of my pain and not having help...

And last but not least to add to my fustrations, D called to have a fight and because I was at my breaking point already, he caught me vulnerable and I broke.

Anyways, I'm off to bed, need to be up for work.

Sorry...

2007-08-07T23:35:00.001-06:00

Sorry that I have not updated in awhile. I've just really been a cross between lazy and busy...and tired.

Everything has been taken out of me physically (accident), emotionally (accident crap, life, people in general) and financially (accident) and I need a pick-me-up. I dont know if I can wait til we start reg service to the carribean before I break.

The asshole that hit me, his buddy's insurance isn't responding to the demand letter from my co. and its causing me grief. My car went into the body shop today for its repairs and I have the rental car from hell. They gave me a freakin land yacht that is a gas pig. So its going back tomorrow.

Work, tired blah..going to bed

Vacation

2007-06-30T10:11:00.000-06:00

We're outta here til July 12th for holidays. See ya in a couple of weeks.

Grrrrrr

2007-06-25T00:37:00.001-06:00

Yesterday (Saturday), I was on my way to The Store That Shall Not Be Named in an effort to get another car seat for Miss P because all my efforts to find a used one at a reasonable price have failed and I needed it far sooner than yesterday. I was coming up C rowchild Tr and exited off at N orth land Dr to go into N orthland mall and I was at a full stop at the yield going to the right, when *BLAM* my head went flying forward and smashed into the steering wheel and *BLAM* my head slammed back into the headrest, which I felt give. Somehow I had the presence of mind to stop the moving car which was thrown forward into traffic and put the car into park and throw on my hazard lights... how or when I don't know, as I don't remember doing it.

My driver's window was open and the driver of the other car came to see if I was alright. I said no. He asked if I had been in an accident before and I said years and years ago. He then asked me where I had been going. I'm still not sure if he was making small talk or if he was trying to get me to say something to get him off the hook. I just said I was going to The Store That Shall Not Be Named. He then disappeared for a second and my gut reaction was to call my mom. In hysterics I called her and asked her to come to the scene, which wasn't far from her house. She asked if I had called the police, and I said no, but I hit my head badly. She urged me to call 911 and then I hung up and called them. The guy wanted into my passenger door to talk to me. My purse and everything were on the seat beside me so then this wave of panic that he was going to rob me went thru my head. Gathering my stuff and putting it on the floor on my side, I let him in. He wanted me to move the cars into the parking lot. So I managed to do that, and I vaguely remember doing it.
I called 911 as we were driving into the lot and told them where I was and they urged me not to get out of the car, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't breath, my head was throbbing.
I got 2 ambulances, 3 fire trucks and 2 police cruisers.

They checked me over at the scene and released me, urging me to get looked at by a doctor for the whiplash I will surely have.

On a funny note, I have a bumper sticker/magnet that says "If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair." and the firemen were laughing at it, and when the paramedics were helping me out of the car, I saw two of them pointing and laughing at it..so I said "I guess he was trying to pull my hair." Which made them laugh.

He was charged with at least two offenses, don't know what, but I saw them writing tickets.
He totalled his buddy's car so I guess he won't be driving his buddy's car anytime soon.
I went to the doctors after I had cleared my head by going to The Store That Shall Not Be Named with my mom and Greg and got the stupid car seat and he prescribed me some muscle relaxants, pain killers, a collar, physiotherapy and massage therapy.
I can't lift Miss P, I can't do up my own bra and I can't shoulder check at all so my driving has been severely hampered.

If this fucks up my holidays in Ontario, I'm going to hunt someone down and hurt them... badly.
I go back to the doctor Monday. I have insurance adjusters coming tomorrow from my insurance co, I have to get an x ray done, I have the owner's insurance adjusters either Tues or Wed, and I need to get some work done on a shop that is due before I leave. In between all that, I have to work my reg job and try and heal and get some physio and a massage or two before Friday.

I must say, I will from now only ever buy Saturn. My car has such minimal cosmetic damage that unless I pointed it out to you, you'd never know it happened. The wheels need an alignment, and various other things need to be checked, but in all honesty, my body took the brunt of the impact, not the car. The car he was driving, a 91 N issan N s x is a write off... the car is worth less than a grand and there is at least 5 grand in damage..at least that.

I hate you right now, dude. I know who you are and where to find you and if I had the strength right now, I'd bitch slap you.

Lots of random thoughts

2007-06-15T23:03:00.000-06:00

I don't now what is up with Blogger tonight, but its slower than molasses in winter... anyways...

Random thought 1 - today was my first payday back after I worked last week in training and for some weird reason unbeknownst to me, I received a significant amount of money in my payroll. Dumb me was looking for my paystub to see why - I forgot that I signed up for electronic paystubs from our payroll provider and I haven't accessed it in 18 months, so be f***** if I remember my password.

Random thought 2 - yesterday I spent some time out with an old friend. We see each other randomly and and more often than not, one of us sleeps over at the other's place. We generally stay in, rent movies and just hang out - but last night, we were out in the world, hanging out and having a good time...and as much as I love spending time watching movies n stuff, it was nice to hang out in the real world...

Random thought 3 - I miss you - I can't help that, I can't change it and not sure that I want to. I want my friend back. I want you in my life, to talk to - not to be an obligation which is how I'm feeling right about now. Even if its random 1 word emails, that would mean something more to me than the random 'ello at oh-dark-thirty when I am asleeeeeeep.

Random thought 4 - I CANNOT wait for vacation. Mom was good enough to get me a secondary card on hers so that I can rent a car... did you know that they won't accept prepaid credit cards as hold for a car rental? I understand why NOW, however what a pain the posterior. After I spent the time and effort to go get one, now its pointless.
We're going to St Charles, Ontario which is in the middle of freakin nowhere on an island to relax, vegetate and have a fantastic time. Its the same place I went 2 summers ago when I was pregnant with Miss P.

Random thought 5 - I forgot to finish the alphabet game... so for the rest of the alphabet, I will come up with a post in a few days to finish it off both here and on Miss P's.

On that note, 7am will come soon, I'm off to dreamland. Meet ya there.

Sorry

2007-06-02T02:38:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of updates.. its been rather crazy.

The blog will probably be slow on updates even more now as I go back to work after 18 months starting on Monday.

Its been very wonderful to have been home...but.. all good things must come to an end.

less than 2 weeks to go...

2007-05-23T00:08:00.000-06:00

I started thinking back to even a year ago thinking I had all the time in the world with Presleigh and staying home.. I'd get so much accomplished... ha ha ha...

Here it is right on my door step... 10 days... and I'm back at work. I'm happy and depressed at the same time.

Happy to get some adult conversation and sad that it means that the past 18 months have whoooshed by and my monkey has grown so much. Hard to believe but she's walking and babbling and her recognition with name and item things is amazing to watch.

A year ago I was banging my head against the wall with respect to D. A year ago, we were only home a couple of months and she was still waking several times a night... a year ago..................

How time flies when you're having fun.

R is for my Rambles

2007-05-09T13:47:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, Revenue Canada audited us and accepted our appeal and the world was good. They did it again this year. At the end of their process, we owed them so much money our heads were spinning.

We appealed. Again. In the meantime they withheld my Child tax credits (nearly $400 a month - which pays my rent), my G S T rebates and my income tax. So at the end of the day, they were withholding nearly $2500.

They accepted our appeal and I should see all of it by the end of next week. I could have used it last week, but hey... at least it will be resolved.

I was going to go to Ontario on the long weekend to my high school reunion. If things are sorted financially by then, it may happen. We'll have to see. The bonus of working for an airline, I can fly whenever, whereever on a moments notice. I'd like it if it works out. A few people I wouldn't mind seeing and the contents of the time capsule since I can't quite remember everything I put in there. I'm curious to see if they can find it since the elevator in the school was built after it was buried.

I'm very tired these days. I hope that I can fix my sleep pattern in the next couple of weeks as I start back to work in 23 days. I've been off for 18 months - I hope I can cope - its been a fantastic 18 months being at home for my kids.

And lastly, for you. Where are you? Come back...please.

Will wonders ever cease?

2007-04-21T02:58:00.000-06:00

Due to the fact that I have to provide my income tax information to D by June 30th, and there were some other pressing issues I needed to discuss, I finally decided that after 6 months that I ought to place a call. I called the Calgary number to get a recording that says "The number you have received has been changed to.......". So I called. The voicemail recording has TTW's voice and name included. I slap my head and figure ..well I'm sure you can come to your own conclusions.

I didn't leave a message and I call back in between the first and second period of the Calgary/Detroit game 4. He answers and I said "D, its Kristin, I have 3 things I need to discuss with you...." and I rhyme them off. After 15 minutes of him egging me on for an argument despite me saying "I did not call to fight or argue" I finally said "We're not going to argue anymore, that isn't why I called." and he finally stopped.

We actually had a decent 90 minute conversation which brought him up to date on Miss P and my new car etc etc. And he asks about my car. So I told him about it. He asks then "How's the tires?" I said "Factory, so they're shite, but they'll be fine until fall." He goes off babbling and then says that he is going to get me new tires and a whole bunch of things and just talks...as he does.

This morning, most of the conversation forgotten, the phone rings at 1130. "Hi, I need your bank account info. I just got off the phone with B&L and I have your tires ordered and I am going to deposit the money for them in your account and you have to call to set it up for when you can get there."
Say what?!?
So not truly believing what I'm hearing, I give him my account info again (he has had it in the past to deposit support way back when). He tells me he is headed to the bank and he'll call me later and gives me the deets on who and where and tells me to call him to book it in.
So I call, I get an appointment for tomorrow (Saturday) and I check my account 15 minutes later and lo and behold, there is $630 deposited into my account for the tires.
I called him back to thank him for that and that I had an appointment for tomorrow. He is genuine and sincere.

I have made tentative arrangements for Miss P and I to fly up to Buttfuck Alberta in about 10 days or so to see him for the day - fly in and fly out same day.

He has made the effort and in his words, thrown me a bone. So I have to extend my hand back and attempt to do this civilly. We had a decent conversation, but it will be one day at a time.

My mother and I are not seeing eye to eye on this. She seems to think that I am going to get suckered or that something is going to fail. Even if we cant fly in and out on the same day and have to spend the night, I will ensure that things are booked and paid for before we get there (its very difficult to find accomodations in Buttfuck at the moment due to the booming economy there) and I am not going to go in blindly.

But anyways... wonders haven't ceased yet.

Prayers

2007-04-17T00:22:00.000-06:00

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families and survivors of the senseless tragedy in Virginia today.

Please light a candle, virtual or otherwise, in memorial of those that passed.

Q is for...

2007-04-07T23:18:00.000-06:00

... the Queen. I watched this movie online about 6 weeks ago and whilst I liked it ok, and I like Helen Mirren, I am not sure why she won an Oscar for this performance. Playing a snobby Bri tish woman is pretty easy imnsho. I much preferred her in Calendar Girls.

Q is for Quebec. I used to ski at Mte Tremblant and Mte Ste Marie and Mte Ste Anne in high school, but its been awhile since I've mountain crashed anywhere. I would like to go to C arnivale in Quebec City sometime though. I do remember my Granny taking us to Gatineau when we were little during the maple syrup run and making maple taffy on the snow. Apparently they don't do that much anymore. When I was visiting over March break in 2005, I had wanted to take the girls and Granny out to a maple syrup farm to do this, but I couldn't find one that still allowed you to come in and do it. *shrug*

Q is for Queer as Folk... I loved this show... one of the people I used to work with at Always Done Twice was on this show. It is also for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy... I never really did get into this one...

Q is for quickie... sometimes good, sometimes not so good...

Q is for quit. Which I apparently can't do. No one likes a quitter!

Q is for je ne sais quoi... and tabernacle and merde and other various french swear words that I can come out with.

P is for...

2007-04-04T19:19:00.000-06:00

P is for plagerism... don't steal someone's words and not give them credit.. that just sucks.

P is for pissed off. Which I am.

My blogger friend, Erin, (http://jesuswasnotarepublican.blogspot.com), is in the process of adopting her beautiful little Miss A from Guatamala, and is having one helluva time with PGN. PGN is a process that they go through to sign off on adoptions. It can be a short or a very long process depending on the situation. In this particular case, they are having issues with the mayor signing off because the previous administration is the one that made the law about having the signature and this mayor doesn't feel that its his responsibility/right to sign off on the previous administrations decision. So they've been told, now that Erin is living in Guatamala with her little miss, that it will be at least 6 months.
They don't have the financial means to do this for that long without it causing many hair pulling/hair falling out/sleepless nights and Erin has to go back to work at the beginning of June. Because, when they planned this, it was a couple of months tops.

I want to help them. But I can't do it by myself. So I am calling on Blogosphere... even if you don't have a blog, even if you just came by here by mistake...

I'd like to steal Tertia's idea and that for each $5 donation, it is an entry into a raffle. The contents of the prize basket will be Canadian things.

I have several methods in which those that would like to help, can. All monies collected will be sent to Erin & John to help with expenses during this trying time.

Paypal, Hyperwallet, email Money transfers (Canadian only) or plain ole ordinary snail mail to me. (email me for my address)

My email address for all of the above is: alloneword at shaw dot ca . If you choose the email Money Transfer, please email me the security question and answer in a separate email so that I can transfer the funds appropriately. I will transfer all funds into the paypal account and I will absorb the fees and transfer it to Erin and John. I'd like cut off for this to be April 30th please.

P is for Prizes... I will attempt to make this of truly Canadian things.

P is also posting... I need to be more frequent.

P is for my princess P resleigh.

O is for octogenerian

2007-03-31T01:54:00.000-06:00

Octogenerian is such a great word... I'd like to use it to describe my old car. Since 8 is an Octo of sorts. That's how long I've had her. 8 looong death defying years.

O is for orgasmic. This car, pictured here.. is completely orgasmic. When I test drove it, I was offered a towel to keep the leather safe. She doesn't have bumpers, so the UK model is not importable to Canada and the US version blows goats for pennies.

O is for onomatopoeia. Another of my favourite words.

Main Entry: on·o·mato·poe·ia
Pronunciation: "ä-n&-"mä-t&-'pE-&, -"ma-
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek onomatopoiia, from onomat-, onoma name + poiein to make
1 : the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2 : the use of words whose sound suggests the sense
- on·o·mato·poe·ic /-'pE-ik/ or on·o·mato·po·et·ic /-pO-'e-tik/ adjective
- on·o·mato·poe·i·cal·ly /-'pE-&-k(&-)lE/ or on·o·mato·po·et·i·cal·ly /-pO-'e-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb

O is for ordinary - which I am not. Never have been, never will be.

O is for Octopus Garden - when I was growing up, this was the name of my parents' business. For several reasons... one from the Beatles song, second because their business was fairly diverse and there were multiple 'tentacles' in which you could hang their business card off of in terms of what they did and lastly, my mom is a gardener by hobby. We had almost an acre of garden growing up and all our veggies were fresh from the garden, and lots of canning and freezing for the winters. The business name evolved into Octopus Audio Visual as their operating name later on, and eventually shortened to OAV... I think my dad still answers his phone on occasion with "Octopus" which now sounds like an odd name to a business...but I guess it stands out.

O is for Owen, Clive I first saw him in Beyond Borders with Angelia Jolie and then in Gosford Park and by the time Derailed came out, I was smitten. However, he is rumoured to be a Liverpool fan, which is almost unforgivable. Arsenal!

O is for out of any more things O. So I am going to ramble about my new car... and if you haven't guessed, I'm quite excited about it.

As previously mentioned, its a Saturn L200. Its colour is called Silver Blue. Its a metallic silvery blue, just as the name suggests. 4 dr, 4 cyl 2.2 litre, power windows, locks and heated power mirrors, factory alarm and immobilizer, LATCH system for the car seat, neutral beige cloth interior, am/fm cd stereo, side curtain airbags, and according to the order sheet it has a steering wheel (always good!) and 1 15" steel wheel (yes it says it in the singular terms). It has 45,000 kms on it and with the 2.2 engine, it has some get up and go for a 4 banger. I was reading online last night some reviews of the car and it has a decent rating and the consu mer re ports thingie also says it has a decent safety rating too. Now the previously mentioned clunk was indeed something to do with the steering system. It could have potentially been a deal breaker. However.. it will get repaired.
So due to waiting for fundage, it will arrive home with me a week today. I'm hyped..can you tell?

N is also for new...

2007-03-29T23:27:00.000-06:00

...cars.

Yipee... Fingers crossed that all goes well with the inspection report at the dealership tomorrow and if so, next week this woman will have a new car. A 2003 Saturn L200 in a very light metallic blue with power everything. It has 45,000kms on it and the balance of most of the warranty (good until Oct 2008). Paid a little more than we wanted to, but there are a few positives about it. The one I liked was one step down from this (an L100) and it more kms and no warranty but was 1750 cheaper than this one. And would you believe they gave me $1100 as trade in for my car?? And thats only because of the aluminum alloy rims and I have 5 - 4 on the car and a full sized spare. Thats $750 worth of aluminum *laugh*.

I had my tires rotated today and they discovered that my tie rods are about to snap and that the springs in the front are also gone... total work needed to be done is in excess of $1500 and I really need a new car because I need 4 doors and it wasn't worth putting in the $1500 to a dead horse. So off Bessie will go to the graveyard. If all goes well tomorrow, Sadie will be here early next week.

N is for November

2007-03-29T01:27:00.000-06:00

One of the movies I can watch repetitively is Sweet November.

N is for Neil Gaiman - if you haven't read his works, do so...his blog is linked over there...

N is for Nov 14th.

N is for Newfoundland... my comfort food might be moving back to NFLD next year... I'm gonna miss him if he does.. but hey, that means a couch to crash on for the George St Festival...

N is for newt... he was my favourite Hercules character.

N is for Numb3rs - I like this show

N is for new day - can't wait for it...

N is for Now - like right now please.

M is for Mother's Day

2007-03-24T16:22:00.001-06:00

On Mother's Day, we will be participating in the F o r z a n i's Mother's Day W a lk n R un. A fundraising will go to the NICU and Special Care Nurseries in Calgary. Without these special places, Presleigh wouldn't be here today.

I'm also happy to be a mom to my beautiful girls.
It is also for all the mommies out there.

Please if you can sponsor us, please email me at alloneword at shaw dot ca or call me. If you can join us, we would love to have you spend the morning with us.

M is for Money - which I seem to be lacking alot of these days.

M is for Madison - my beautiful angel.

M is for my mom - my hero.

M is for T - her real name starts with an M, so this is just to bug her.

M is for mold. Something grew in my fridge and I am not sure what it was in a past life or how it got so hidden, but when I opened the fridge yesterday, there it was screaming to be let out.

M is for milk - lactose free milk to be exact. Someone tell me why its 5 times the price of regular milk? I realize that there is an extra process that it has to go thru, but surely it can't be that much more.

M is for more sleep... I need a nap.

L is for Losers!

2007-03-22T03:40:00.001-06:00

Over there on my blog roll is Erin's blog (Jesus was not a republican). Erin and her husband are in the process of adopting a baby from Guatamala and have run into the hugest snag with getting their bundle of joy permanently theirs.

So the losers in the whole mess have made it impossible for Erin and many other families to take their children home.

So, if you are in the process of, know someone that is or someone that has adopted from Guatamala and has used an agency, please go read Erin's lasted post.
I can't begin to explain everything, so it is best to read it from the horses mouth.

L is for Larry - I dunno where Larry went but maybe he is still in the van outside the hotel in Vancouver? Did someone check?

L is for love. That could be 40 posts long. It is good, its bad, its real and everything in between.

L is for leaving on a jet plane... ok, I wish I was, it will be another 2 months before Im on a plane.

K is for Kristin

2007-03-20T02:26:00.000-06:00

Since my KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK key is buggered, I'm not going to post, I am going to recycle an old post.

So KKKK is for Kristin...

J is for Justice

2007-03-17T00:52:00.000-06:00

Justice will be done. I guess.

The court order for sole custody went to maintenance enforcement in order for the court costs awarded to me to be collected by them.

It has now gone to a federal garnishee, personal property registry (no more licence plates/drivers licence) and he has been notified.

I think I might change my phone number. Its his birthday on Sunday, I am bracing for an alcohol induced rant.

I is for Insurance

2007-03-16T00:23:00.000-06:00

My car insurance has gone down...finally. Granted though, I am still paying the equiv to the value of my car a year in insurance rates which is retarded. Maybe one day they'll institute no fault insurance here and I can go back to having $400 a year insurance premiums.

I is for health Insurance. I recently got new glasses and I spent a little more than I normally would on them as $100 of them was covered off by someone else, plus I had a 50% off coupon for the lenses. So my total bill with eye exam was $346.45 minus $100 from elsewhere, and I figured that I was getting $150 back from insurance total to cover both the exam and the glasses.
I got a cheque in the mail today for the entire $346.45 from insurance. So now I not only have free glasses, I also got $100. I did the happy dance.

I is also for lack of insurance. As of March 2, I no longer have extra health insurance. I was covered under Scott but he no longer works for a big blob, he is self employed. And while I am on personal leave from work, I am not covered. And that means that the girls have minimal coverage until I go back to work. Lets just cross our fingers and toes that I don't need anything til June.

I is for idiots. Idiots that drive with their fog lamps on when it is not foggy. Tonight I was so pissed off that I pulled over, made them go around me, threw on my high beams and then tailgated them for 3 blocks. Not that it probably bothered them since it was a half tonne truck and the tailgate probably blocked the lights.
I is also for idiots that don't look when they merge and cut people off and cause accidents. Lori got cut off on Hwy 2 doing 120kms an hr yesterday and hit the edge of the pavement/gravel and it sent her spinning out of control and totalled the company car. She's ok, she's exceptionally lucky. The car is in a million pieces and sitting somewhere near Lacombe.

I is for ..well I. I will cover this under K cause I've run out of K words doing Presleigh's alphabet.

H is for Holiday

2007-03-15T01:43:00.000-06:00

...that I really need. I am going to Ontario in May for my high school reunion...eek! And then the girls and I are going back to Ontario for 2 weeks of fun and frolic on a beach. Of course this all depends on money coming to fruition.

H is for the movie The Holiday. I watched it on Peekvid
I must say this is a cool website. And the movie wasn't half bad either for a girl movie. I do like Jude Law. I also watched The Queen on there as well. Which was .. an alright movie, and I can see that Helen Mirren did a great job portraying the Queen... but, I'm not sure it was Oscar worthy. I'll have to ponder it more.

H is for holy hell batman. Ok, not really, I just put that in there because it will up my G o O gL e search returns. *laugh*

Ok, so yeah it is for holy hell batman. I wish I could figure these people out. Devin's mother and sister have made plans with me several times since Feb 1 and they continually back out for one reason or another. Yes, one time was my undoing because I started getting sick, but I have made every freakin effort with them, yet its my fault that they haven't seen Presleigh in months. It will be nearly a year since they've held her. But I'm done now... I have only gone this far for my own personal ..gain? So that in 15 yrs when it gets thrown in my face I can say that I made every effort to ensure that they saw her and yet they chose not to. Apparently C anadian T ire and F uture S hop are more important than your granddaughter/niece.

H is for hot shower... which is where I am going now in a last ditch effort to let the steam clear my sinuses since I can't take any good sleeping drugs or I will be useless to anyone and everyone.

G is for germs

2007-03-13T00:30:00.000-06:00

Germs are what are in this house. We are all sick. I can't breathe thru my nose, my sinuses feel like they are the size of watermelons and my neck and back and arms just ache.

G is for goodies. Scott's mom makes these goodies at Christmas called Hello Dolly's. OMG these things are to die for. I know they're made with evaporated milk, chocolate chips, graham cracker crumbs, coconut, and walnuts... but they're soooooooo good. Its been a long time since I had had some, and I asked Scott to bring me back a couple from Christmas... she made me a special batch just for me... sad to say I ate them all.

G is for grapes. I had a contract to do and I got the most gorgeous cream and sugar set that matches my kitchen perfectly. I had made a utensil jug last fall with grapes and grape leaves and vines and this matches it to a T.

G is for Baby Gap. I love these clothes. I wish they were more affordable. I've managed to get some second hand and some on sale, but unless they're significantly discounted/garage sale items, I can't afford them. But the bonus is, when they out grow them, I can put them at the consignment shop.

G is for growing. My babies are growing so much. Presleigh is now 22.8 lbs, 10x her birth weight!

G is for girth. Which I need to get rid of. I am hoping I hear this week that I got on to X Weighted, but I am not holding my breath.

G is for good night. Which is where I'm going now...since I can't take Nyquil and be sane to deal with sick children, wish me luck.

F is also for fourteen

2007-03-08T02:47:00.000-07:00

Today my big girl turns fourteen. It is very hard to believe. Puberty, PMS and all the other challenges of being fourteen are here, however I must say that I am grateful that we are sane and despite the normal stuff, its pretty sane around here. I'm sure it will get worse in the next couple of years, but I am pretty blessed in that my daughter is a 'good girl'.

Sure we have our arguements and I get to the point of wanting to pull out my hair, but overall, she has pulled her socks up the past 8 months or so. She is on the honour roll at school, she is saving her money for her saxophone (and I must say she has done exceptionally well at it too!), she has stopped lying, and she is so good about coming home from school and hitting the books immediately.

This is such a change from last year!

So to my baby... Happy Birthday. I love you <------------------------------------------this much --------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

F is for Friends...

2007-03-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

I don't have alot of friends, those that are my friends are close and I hold dear. They are important to me and they are very similar to me. I am not that great at keeping in contact with people, so when I say I may call and I don't - thats just me. As it is with my friends...we all operate the same. I don't hate you, I'm ok and life is just busy. Or I'm being lazy. Or procrastinating...or..

F is for forty. Thats when Colin and I have to get married. We agreed years ago that if we're not with someone/married by the time we're forty (our birthdays are days apart), then we have to get married to each other. ;-)
Four is for four hundred days... Presleigh is four hundred days old tomorrow.
I'm sure F stands for many other things, but at the moment, these will have to do.

E is for ergonomically correct...

2007-03-06T01:25:00.000-07:00

... which this keyboard is not, thankfully. However, I have discovered in recent weeks that perhaps I ought to get one. I am not typing nearly as much as I used to and I found that a couple of hours online and my wrists and forearms just ache. This desk probably doesn't help either, however it is pretty and wrought iron and I like it.

E is for your ego.

E is for Elmo. Presleigh has a toy cell phone that sings Elmo's World when you open the flip. If I hear that damn song once more this week, I might hide the phone ;-)

E is for Enough. I saw this movie once before, but really I'm not a huge J. L O fan, but it was on this past weekend and I realized I could relate. Granted, I've never been in a physically abusive relationship (aside from a previously mentioned moment), I have been in emotionally abusive relationships and I want to be able to find that inner strength that her character did to 'fight back' and not allow it to happen again...to finally say enough.

D is for Duped

2007-03-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Dad,

D is for duped. Once again, you've lied, manipulated and duped me into believing. However, guess what? This time, my heart isn't breaking, and I'm not crying a river. I feel pity for you.

"Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" and you're living on your knees.

And in answer to your question... no.

C is for Car

2007-03-04T02:26:00.000-07:00

My car... my poor car. The check engine light has gone off with a key reset, thankfully. However... she needs to be replaced. Sooner rather than later. Bessie has a hard 178,000 on her and has been across Canada and to the states, but she has failed me too many times for me to feel sorry for her.

C is for creativity. None of which I have lately. I have all these crochet projects on the go, half finished. I have no desire to finish my house as of late, despite having wonderful ideas. I think my creativity left with the Christmas spirit.

C is for Cricket. My soul sistah. She has vanished in a poof of reality but I still miss her terribly.

And lastly, C is for cookies. I have a terrible craving for English Bay white chocolate and macedamia nut cookies. Must. Find. Cookies.

B is for Baby

2007-03-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

My beautiful babies... they are growing up so fast. School, activities, now being healthy and safe, growing up right before my eyes.

Sometimes I resent being a single mom. I resent the fact that promises made are broken, I resent being treated with another b word, bad behaviour... and I resent those that don't want part of their children's lives. Financially its a struggle, but somehow I manage to make it work.

But on the other hand, I love it. It is up to me and only me.

B is also for as mentioned, bad behaviour. In recent months I have come to peace with my life and where I'm at in it. But I simply refuse to tolerate crap anymore from anyone. Don't make me promises you can't keep, don't tell me you're going to do x and not even make an effort.

B is also for boys... they suck :-)

A is for Alzheimer's

2007-03-01T00:49:00.000-07:00

My granny, whom I have posted about several times in the past, suffered from Alzheimer's. Even in her deluded state she was still an amazing woman with a wicked sense of humour and an insatiable desire for ice cream.

Her artwork, as seen here, was her life. She loved crafting with us as children and then with my daughter and niece. She did incredible pieces, some of which were housed at 24 S u s s e x as well as the N ational A rt G allery after being commissioned by some higher ups.

Her job until she retired was writing army contracts for the federal government and she taught rug h o o k i n g at nights. When she retired from the federal gov't, she taught night classes until she was well into her 80s and she even managed to get her driver's licence every year after 80 until we finally took it away when she got lost and ended up in Montreal and my father had to drive 5 hours to rescue her from the QPP.

When Alzheimer's started to ravage her body and mind, she knew it wasn't right or Ok and she at times seemed at peace with it, and others seemed to be genuinely afraid of it. She may not have known who we were as the end drew near, but even with that, she still blew kisses and her heart sent out love to whomever was near...all of which was genuine.

The last thing I said to her was the day I left when she returned from the hospital after her forgetting her keys was "Bye bye my sweet Granny, I'll see you in my dreams." and I am grateful that I got to say goodbye, albeit several months before she was gone, and at least she knew it.

Alphabet Game

2007-03-01T00:47:00.000-07:00

Since Penny & Mossy and Steph and several others played, I decided that since my blog has been seriously lacking in posts in recent months, that I guess I need to jump on the bandwagon and play the Alphabet Game.

The gist is - a post a day (ish) and each post must be on the theme of the word that starts with the next letter in the alphabet...

So it shall begin.

Thought provoking..

2007-02-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

I thought about all the people that come here to read my thoughts and what could I write that would be thought provoking, interesting and maybe even garner myself international attention... ok well I have that already but anyways...

So I took a trip thru my stat counter and the ways that people get here and thought I'd give some answers to the questions that they use A s k dot com or g o o g l e.

The first to address.. Dr Birch. He didn't perform my c-section but made the decision it should happen and he is a cute British doctor who's wife is a really nice nurse. In my opinion, his decision to give me an emergency c-section was appropriate and justified and I believe he saved my daughter's life with that decision.

Second: amitriptolyne: this is a downer. It is prescribed for many different things including but not limited to: migraines, fibryo myalgia, diabetic neuropathy issues, as well as an anti depressant. I have taken it for migraines when I was a teenager and it has been prescribed for both my parents - my mother for FM and my father for his neuropathy. When you take it 1 hr before bed, you fly as high as a kite and then come crashing down and souuuuund asleep you shall be. However, the lovely side effects for some is that it leaves you feeling hung over. And if you are taking lithium, like my father, then it gives you schitzophrenic episodes.

Third: I'd Stop The World And Melt With You - The song was sung by Modern English and yes, it is being used for a car commercial at the moment in North America. However, if you are looking for the full lyrics, I'd suggest that you use this link.

Fourth: I do not have the entire lyrics for Henry The 8th I Am either, however, I'd try here.

Fifth: I have absolutely no idea if things will work out with your boyfriend, his ex girlfriend, his ex wife or any other possible combination there of, nor do I have any information about your boyfriend being in Kananaskis.

Sixth: Moosimin Saskatchewan - Its a great little town about 20 kms from the Sask-Man border and they have cheap hotels and decent food. I have driven through it twice, stayed there one night. Other than that, I know nothing about it.

Seventh: Nyquil substitute in the UK? Huh? Just be nice to whomever you're talking to about it and send them several litres... its good shit.

Eighth: I guess I should have put the Henry the 8th stuff here, but whatever.. This is probably the strangest and oddly relatively common search... "needtopee" WTF??? I posted this with respect to having to pee badly whilst travelling over Pothole Pass on my way to an ultrasound with several litres of water invading my bladder and presuming female readership with children could relate...however, it has resulted in very strange searching and if you're looking for p .. o... r...n it ain't here.

Ninth: Kyle's Wedding in Edmonton ???????? I don't know Kyle, I didn't know he was getting married and why are you coming from Japan to Edmonton to go to his wedding is beyond me.

Tenth: Calgary Forest Lawn Safe or Scary? - downright fucking scary k? Don't move there, don't even consider it as an option k?

And last but not least, all of the searches relating to sex. I don't have p........o....r...n here, I don't discuss it, I swear and I say sex alot, but guess what, you're in the wrong place.

Bessie

2007-02-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

Bessie is dying a sloooooow painful death. She is 11 years old and has a hard 178,000 on her. But she has been a lemon since day one. I have put 3 sets of tierods, a new head gasket at 64,000, new alternator, new timing belt, the transmission has been slipping since day one, and she needs so much work to pass a safety that it is pointless.

So, now that the check engine light is on 1 week after an oil change that the garage denies caused it (bulllllllllshit) and she's down a litre of oil and isn't burning oil and she's having a rough go of things, it is time to consider Bessie for the retirement home.

Scott is going to change the PVC valve and the spark plugs today and see if that helps with the roughness and the check engine light. If that doesn't work, she's headed to the garage on Monday for an estimate. If the estimate is more than $500, we're not going to do the work. Looking around last night online, I found some decent used cars for under 10 grand with low kms. As much as I want, really want, a brand new with warranty with 0 kms on it, financially its not possible.

So part of me wants the newer car and is hoping that the estimate is more than $500 so I can put Bessie to death (euthanasia to the car!), the other part of me wants it to be a cheap fix and I can get a bit more out of her so that I can get the brand new with warranty with 0kms on it in the nearer future.

On another note, R e v e n u e C a n a d a has decided to audit us again. They've decided that they are going to marry Scott and I because we share a residence. We're appealing again, however with that, they are withholding our C T C and G S T rebates and are causing me no end of stress. I received a copy of what I apparently owe and its already over 3 grand *laugh* and they haven't done the reassessment of our income tax yet. *laugh* I'm looking forward to this. <>

Today is my step dad's birthday and we're having dinner out and we're going to watch my nephew play hockey this afternoon. Presleigh enjoys watching hockey games and watching the puck go zoooooooming by.

On Thursday, it had been a year since Granny was gone. She has been missed dearly and I think of her often.

because...

2007-02-11T00:11:00.000-07:00

I Heart Winter

2007-02-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

Well now that my ears have been sufficiently rung by being less than 20 feet from Stephen Page and Ed Robertson (I heart them more than winter), and the 90 min drive to get to the Saddledome and the 45 min drive home (I don't heart winter anymore), I have a tale to tell you.

It began this morning with being told that Anna Nicole Smith had died. Oh wait this is going to put my stat counter thru the roof just as posting ONE LINE of lyrics from I'd Stop The World has done. Then it was added with the fact that my mom's friend Linda busted some pedophile web porn ring with the click of her mouse and it ended with me singing "If I had a million dollars" at the top of my lungs along with a bazillion other BNL fans.

I had a contract to do on my way to the concert so I left here at 6 and I was finished my contract by 645... I then proceeded down Memorial Drive and came to a complete standstill at the zoo. I arrived on top of the 4th Ave flyover at 7:09pm... I arrived in my seat at the Saddledome a mere 60 minutes and 12 blocks later. Thankfully there was an opening act and I missed nothing of BNL. I waited til the majority of the crowd had cleared out of the parking lot before I even ventured to wait in line to exit. I pulled out at 11:15pm and arrived home just before midnight.

Did I have fun at the concert? Absolutely! Did I have fun getting there and coming home? No.

Would whoever ordered the snow please cancel their order and take a raincheck? I have a bazillion errands that I have been putting off for 3 days because of the weather and now I neeeeeeeed to do them....thanks, its appreciated.

BNL :-)

2007-02-05T02:06:00.000-07:00

Apparently Blogger feels that I should be typing in here...so I am...

I'd like to mention that my tickets for below mentioned concert are...10th row floor :-) Thanks Mom.

Your event is happening soon!

Barenaked Ladies

When:	Thursday, February 08, 2007 7:30pm
Where:	Pengrowth Saddledome 555 Saddledome Rise S.E. Calgary, AB T2G 2W1

Busy

2007-02-01T22:54:00.000-07:00

My baby is a year old today. Growing like a bad weed and currently screaming her head off because she doesn't want to go to bed.

My life is upside down and crazy busy but yet I still seem to be spinning my wheels.

I have been playing with BlogShares.

Its very cool game. Fantasy stock market where your blog is your company and you trade shares and gain worth and value from completing certain tasks and spending money and all the other things you'd do on the stock market. My worth is just over a billion dollars now but frankly I wish it were real.

I've been having a debate about a blog with one of the moderators. Seems my view of zoology differs from his/hers. So that has made the game a little more interesting. I guess a student of zoology that posts photos of their field trips with animals and discusses their field of study without actually saying zoology in each post doesn't qualify as belonging to the zoology industry. Even more so the fact that she is a DOCTOR trying to get published with her thesis in zoology and animal psychology doesn't count either. But nevermind.

I had an interesting note left in Presleigh's guestbook yesterday so I called. Guess that the hint was taken that keeping in contact more is a two sided thing and not just my responsibility.

Anyways, Presleigh has been screaming for over 15 mins, I guess I should rescue her (and my ears).

Consideration...

2007-01-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

I like this being considerate thing... its working well for you.

Answer Key

2007-01-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Movies:

1 - Gross Pointe Blank

2 - Ghost

3 - As Good As It Gets

4 - Shrek

5 - Pretty Woman

6 - American Beauty

7 - Wedding Crashers

8 - American Pie

9 - St Elmo's Fire

10 - Cars

11 - Death Wish IV

12 - When Harry Met Sally

Song Lyrics

1 - Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad - Def Leppard

2 - All Fired Up - Pat Benatar

3 - Momma Mia - Abba

4 - Good Vibrations - Marky Mark

5 - With or Without You - U2

6 - Mrs Robinson - Simon & Garfunkle

7 - Wastin My Time - Default

8 - Insensitive - Jann Arden

9 - Ordinary Day - Great Big Sea

10 - I'd Stop The World (and melt with you) - Modern English

11 - She Ain't Pretty - Northern Pikes

12 - You Learn - Alanis

I aen't dead....

2007-01-14T02:22:00.000-07:00

Just ask Nanny Ogg about DEATH n stuf, I'm sure she'll find a cure...

But I aen't dead, just run off my feet...

I'll post the answer key to the lyrics/movies another day...Im going to bed now.

Just for fun...

2006-12-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I decided to come up with this game for the end of the year...

Send me an email - alloneword at shaw dot ca with your answers. First 2 people with the most correct answers will win a prize - a real prize, not a virtual prize. No cheating - I'll know.

Name the movie - name the movies that the following quotes came from:

1 - "They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?" "

2 - "I'm Henry the 8th I am. Henry the 8th I am I am. I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven times before."

3 - "When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke."

4 - "This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles."

5 - "No matter what they say, it's all about money. So let's imagine, ladies, that you're a savings and loan officer. Watch - one, two, three; see, you've got it all, and we've got nothing. You've got all four, take a look."

6 - "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."

7 - "I always knew I was never going to be a professional bull fighter, but that's not why I did it."

8 - "God bless the Internet."

9 - "No diet works. The only way to lose weight in the thighs is amputation."

10 - "You are a sad strange little wagon, and you have my pity! Farewell!"

11 - "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. No wait, I already did that and you came in second best."

12 - "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Song lyrics - name of the song and artist.

1 - "Just let the moment take your heart away."

2 - "Lookin for a reason, searchin for a sign, reachin out with both hands."

3 - "I've been cheated by you since I don't know when."

4 - "I wanna see sweat coming out your pores."

5 - "Nothing to win and nothing left to lose."

6 - "Jesus loves you more than you will ever know."

7 - "Months went by with us pretending."

8 - "How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?"

9 - "I've been battered but I never bruise."

10 - "Making love to you was never second best."

11 - "Her ego wrote cheques incredibly fast but her personality didn't have the cash."

12 - "It feels so good, swimming in your stomach."

Mkay, there ya go... 24 little quotes... see what you can do. Comment answers won't be accepted so remember to use the email listed above.
Good luck. Deadline for entries is 0001 MST Monday January 8th.

We have a toooof

2006-12-28T01:19:00.000-07:00

It finally cut thru. Its been a looooong 6 months waiting for it, but it finally cut thru tonight.

On Dec 16, I went out with Lori and gambled and won $1312 (we split, so my share, $656) and was able to spoil my family for Christmas. Tonight, we went out again and I won $1056 (again split). I think my winning streak has to be over...unless of course someone wants to give me the $32,000,000 from the Super 7 on Friday.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, Christmas exploded here. Everyone got spoilt alot. The girls got clothes and pjs and books and toys.

I got clothes, perfume, a Homedics back massager, a BlueTooth thumbdrop, new pots and new bakeware...I got the book I wanted.. U2 by U2 ... and... concert tickets.

I have 10th row floor seats for the Barenaked Ladies. wheeeeeeeeeeee.

I won some money in mid December and I was able to spoil the girls and my family more than I would normally... there are toys and games and lots n lots of clothes. And believe it or not, I only have to exchange 1 thing for Rachel - everything else fit everyone.

Some pictures will follow, I just can't be arsed to find the USB cable again (damn techno thieves) and sort it all out. I need to go boxing day shopping!

Help Requested

2006-12-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

My internet friend, Liz McCarthy and her little bundle of joy, Miss Kaitlyn are in desperate need of some help.

Miss K has some ..ok alot.. of feeding issues and seems to do ok on breastmilk. However, their supply is dwindling. They are looking for donated breastmilk from anyone who is drug & alcohol free & in good health, and willing to donate (Liz is more than happy to pay shipping).

Please if you can help, or know someone that can, please direct them to http://lizmccarthy.blogspot.com and they can either leave a comment or follow Liz's directions about contacting her by email.

Christmas update

2006-12-19T10:17:00.000-07:00

Its freakin insane around here. I wish I had more time... thats what I get for procrastinating isn't it?

Anyways, baking up a storm and we're no where near ready... but.. bring it on.

I've nothing exciting or new to report.

Christmas wishes and forgiveness

2006-12-11T02:05:00.000-07:00

Far Away

I forgive you for being away for far too long...

I have a few Christmas wishes...

The first.. the magic cleaning fairy to show up at my house... granted, I've never lived in immaculate but I need some help here.. I get started on something and Presleigh either wakes up, needs attention in some form or another, or I just want to take 5 for myself and when I get going again, something else crops up.

The second.. people to mind their own. I didn't ask for the opinion, I didn't ask for the interference, so therefore, no need to worry, it has been taken care of.

The third.. my blood pressure to settle down. I've been put on Altace, 2x5mg/day. If I take all 10 mg at once (which is what I'm directed to do), I end up feeling like I'm having an allergic reaction (same feeling I get with aspirin which I'm alergic to). If I take one 5mg in the morning, all good, no reaction. If I take it at night... I'm up allll night. I tried splitting the dose up, but I feel queasy if I still have the first in my system. But I can feel my blood pressure being high and I need this sorted out... guess I'll be taking a trip to see Dr W this week. I've been trying all different times of the day, with food, without food, with milk, with water... no glory on any of it.

The fourth.. for the CCRA to find their brains out of their asses. I don't understand why they just can't find other people to pick on.

And last but not least, when the cleaning fairy is done, can she put up my Christmas tree please? Thanks.

That is all...

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I guess it depends on your perspective...

2006-12-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

When you look at the time stamp on this post, you'll maybe understand the title a little better.

My sister arrived on Tuesday from Ottawa to help my mom out with my dad who just had triple bypass surgery a week ago Tuesday. As I've mentioned previously, her book is out and selling. So tonight, she got to spend some time with the girls and we did our Christmas gift exchange to save on postage on everyone's part...and I got my copy of the book (as well as a beautiful painting!).

What happens is the same thing that happened two nights ago with a different book.... can't stop reading. And in this case, keep crying. Mind you, I've read the majority of the book previously (prior to the editors getting ahold of it and some things having been changed), I still had to read it again... and cry again.

I miss my Granny. I miss the fact that her amazingly simple telephone number is no longer hers and for some silly reason I was listed as power of attorney with Bell Canada and only *I* could cancel it (that was one of the more difficult calls I had to make in June), I miss the blowing of kisses, I miss her because even up until last March that she still could lip read "I love you", I miss her because of almond crescent cookies and chocolate 'turds' that won't be the same even with her receipe. I miss the tree that isn't hers anymore that had branches that could take your eye out even with glasses on. I miss being able to say "At the corner of Woodroffe and Iris, 3rd house in on the left with the huge tree." when giving directions to find me when I'm without a rental car...I miss the thousand tulip magnets on her fridge (thankfully I rescued some and they are on my fridge now and just now realized they were for Sudbury's Communities in Bloom festival when I thought they were for something CBC did...I've only seen those magnets for the past 20 yrs and never noticed...) I miss being able to buy the magnificant roosters that I find knowing they aren't going to a good home.
I miss driving in circles looking at the same Christmas lights over and over again but its like we saw the entire city and listening to the little-girl-like screeching of how wonderful they are but don't forget to stop for ice cream and she's buying and nevermind that its Dec 20th and minus 18 C.
I miss getting 'lost' and then getting truly lost and ending up at the airport on the otherside of the city when you started out in the west end.
One of my first memories of Granny is going into the Gatineau Hills in early spring for the maple syrup run and making taffy on the snow with the hot syrup. And going on a cruise on the Rideau Canal in my new red FAME jeans and posing with a 'Beefeater' on Parliament Hill.

Dee writes about finding out some history about Granny like her mother's name and the like. I took Granny for a drive and we went for supper and I asked her about her mother once... she gave me the same answer she'd given Dee for years. "I don't know, Mother I guess". I asked her about her wedding to Sandy.. she wore red.

In some ways, I am jealous of the things that Dee was able to share with Granny... but in others, exceptionally grateful not to have had the mountain that Dee had to climb.

When I wrote the following, I had been hoping to have it added to Dee's book as a foreword, however we were too late for the publishers... so I will include it here...

"For as long as I can remember, Granny had been deaf. When we were small, there was some slight hearing but as the years progressed, she relied heavily on her lip reading skills and her TTY to communicate with the world. As she got older, her house had some thingamajigs that my father had concocted to make her world easier – a flashing blue light over the fireplace mantle for the telephone, permanent CC on her tv, and various other gadgets that made it possible for Granny to still function at home without assistance.

Oct 20, 2004, just before 8am MST…

The persistent ring of the telephone has jarred me awake. ‘This had better be good.’ I mutter. I worked until 1am, anyone who calls before the clock strikes twelve better have a good reason.
“I listen to Jack.” I sleepily answer. I’m positive one day they will call and I will get my thousand dollars.
“May I speak to Kristin please?” this very professional monotone voice asks.
“Speaking” I mumble.
“Kristin, this is Joan with CCAC in Ottawa with regards to your grandmother, Lenore.” she says.
OK, I am awake now and sit upright in bed. If they’re calling me, they can’t find Dee and something bad has happened.
“Yes?” I manage to get out.
“Penny, the Paramed worker, arrived at your grandmother’s this morning and found the door locked and unable to get Lenore to the door which I understand is highly unusual. Irene is not home and unable to open the door for her as well.”
“Are the curtains still drawn?” I ask tentatively. If Granny is up, the curtains are open wide so she can view Iris St and all its comings and goings and watch Chance take wild chances crossing Iris bounding after a squirrel.
“As far as I am aware, they are. We have been unable to reach Heather and you’re next on the list.”
“Ok, let me deal with this, where can I reach you?”
She gives me her number and I fall into panic mode. I’m 2500 miles away and if Dee is unavailable, that leaves my father. He is completely incapable of dealing with this, but he is my next option. After calling my mother in freak-out mode and crying my eyes out, I call Dad. No answer, but I leave a message.
I try Granny’s a couple of times more out of hope than expecting an answer and make the decision about 30 minutes later to send the police.
I call their dispatch centre and give all the pertinent details and advise them the best window to go in so as to not crash into furniture or antiques as the front door is double dead bolted and there isn’t a hope in Christmas they’re going to get in that.
And then I wait… and wait.
My father finally returns my call and I advise him of what I’ve done and he starts calling every 5 minutes to Granny’s.

The Ottawa Police call me back.
“Hi Kristin, it’s Officer So-and-So from Ottawa PD, and we’re at your grandmother’s. The officers don’t want to scare her and break in, but we see something and they’re afraid to scare her.”
“What do they see?” I ask.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean? Do they see her? Do they see a light flashing? What?”
“I don’t know. But the officers don’t want to scare her.”
So here is my brain about to implode. You don’t know what you see, but you don’t want to scare her, so do you see her? A flashing light? What?
I suggest that they write POLICE OPEN THE DOOR in the biggest letters possible and she will then come to the door and won’t be scared if it is indeed her they see.
I leave them to do what they need to do and my father calls me again about 15 minutes later.
“I just spoke to an officer in the house. They have called for the ambulance and they’re taking her to the Queensway Carleton.”
“Ok, I will keep trying to get Dee.”

This was the beginning of a slow journey downhill. This story of my Granny is a lot of who she was at the end, and tidbits of the past, but it doesn’t hold all the memories.

My sister did what she felt was the best and necessary and gave Granny her final wish.

My wish is that my sister will find some peace and sanity after 3 years of insanity and that Granny is watching over her and keeping her safe."

And now, since I should be sleeping as I have to get up to do the school bus run, I am going to fall into a drug induced slumber (yay speedy tylenol) and hope that I am coherent to be up in 3 hrs.

I wonder..again...

2006-11-28T03:54:00.000-07:00

... when something is going to happen that will distrupt this bubble I'm in.

Things have been going far too smoothly as of late with just life in general. Sure things have happened, like needing a new rim for my car ( there is something weird when the entire current value of my car is in my rims... $800 a piece new jeebus jehosifites), my mom being a bundle of jangling nerves that needs to settle down, and the fact that it is MINUS 27 C & with the windchill making it MINUS fucking forty and it hasn't stopped snowing for three days. Other than those minor inconveniences, things are pretty smooth.

Granted, I ain't stepping out the front door for nuffin... ok, I fib.. I _have_ to go get the rim replaced tomorrow without fail as I kinda need my car to pick my sister up from the airport tomorrow night... and I really need to get in to see a notary to get a few notarized copies of the court order so that I can a) file with MEP to get the 500 smackers added to his account and no they aren't arrears, so pay up... b) I need to get a passport for the girls so we can go to Hawaii in the spring... c) I can't do a damn thing with only ONE copy of the order, despite me asking my lawyer for 5 and I would pay for the other 4 myself.... d) I want to put the original in the safety deposit box with her longform birth certificate, and my birth certificate.... e) I can't think of an 'e' right now cause its 4am and I've somehow managed to read an entire blog from back to front and now I'm seeing stars and I'm thirsty and tired.

I also have discovered that in this lovely coldsnap that I desperately need new windows everywhere on the main floor. The bay window alone is going to be two grand :( And the window in front of me right now is probably going to be at least 5 bills as it is rather tall. The kitchen windows are smaller so I don't think they'll be as horrific, plus, I dont feel as much cold air blowing through those frames but it could be because they're protected by the trees and rosebushes. Let's just say that even with the furnace running and the vent in front of my feet, my knees are still cold. (So are my hands, but that could be from resting my wrists on a cold wrought iron desk and cutting off the circulation.. I need to go to bed)

And in the interest of just generally not wanting to be involved, I am not even going to waste the energy and time to unravel your mess. Don't say one thing and do another, especially when you've expended so much energy already. It isn't cool, ok?

omfg

2006-11-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

I followed a link from Penny and I ended up here. Oh my fucking god.

I can't decide if its funny, pathetic or just one more way people spend their time on the 'net to take the piss out of people and amuse themselves.

I'll let ya know.

I'm rather tired and I've nothing exciting going on.

Oh and for something completely bizarre...

As I'm sitting here writing this, he is on David Letterman making a public statement and apology with Jerry Seinfeld in attendance (he's via satellite).

2006-11-21T01:29:00.000-07:00

The best damn commercial as of late...

2006-11-14T02:07:00.000-07:00

As you can see by the picture below.... I am suffering with....

SMUDGED GLASSES!!!!!!

Little fingers keep grabbing at my glasses and pulling and twisting my poor frames... between the fact that protective coating is coming off the lenses and someone's little finger prints, I'm gonna be blinder than I already am!

I suppose no news is good news. I've been busier than a bee in honey season with my little part time gig. I figure by the end of this weekend coming, I'll have earnt about a grand. On Sunday we're headed to Red Deer and I'll earn just over $100 just for spending Sunday out.

Oh I guess I do have good news and bad news. My stepdad is having surgery on the 21st - triple bypass. Eeep. And my sister is coming out to visit. Yay. She's going to try and get a booking signing somewhere while she's here.
Anyways, I have nothing funny, remotely funny or even smiley worthy so I'm gonna go to bed now that Misses Grumpy has finally settled again. (Can ya guess why Im up at 2am?)

Its been a week...

2006-11-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

Today I had OT and PT with Presleigh at Children's, however her PT hurt her back - I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not... When your physical therapist hurts her back lifting her son... I dunno..

We're doing better with the food issues. Clare agrees that it appears to be a texture issue, so its going to be alot of experimentation with what works and what doesn't. Wish us luck with that.

I'm trying to convince other people in this house that we need to get another cat before Ecetera drives me bonkers. He was obviously part of a litter and came from that to our house with another cat and now he's lonely. He follows me everywhere all day. If I go upstairs to change Presleigh or do something for the girls or whatever, he will race from whereever he is and fall UP the stairs he's running so fast. I've never seen a cat fall UP the stairs, but one of these days I hope to catch it on video as its freakin hilarious.

Anyways, not much to say other than I hate being sick...so Im off to bed.

About 5 mins ago...

2006-11-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

...Saddam Hussein was found guilty and sentenced to die by hanging.

More details can be found here...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15567363/

I was sitting here reading blogs with the tv on for background noise (and SNL had just ended) and they broke in on an Infomercial...

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming (sleep !)

Sick

2006-11-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

For the hundred million bazillionth time I have strep. Presleigh is sick. I hate being sick. Blanket over my head would be great except that I keep coughing and it keeps waking me up.

My blood pressure is through the roof again, so I'm back on meds. Great. Looking forward to that. I took the first dose last night.. it kept me up half the night - it felt like my veins were jumping. I ended up sleeping on the couch because if my legs were up higher than my chest, the veins in my legs didn't jump. So I took todays dose earlier in the day with hopes that it doesn't do the same thing....so far so good ... well at least the veins arent jumping that I can feel right now.

I went out with friends tonight.. every one of them let me down. I gotta stop putting so much faith in people. One bailed early because of work in the morning (you knew we'd be out late, why commit?), one faked sick (we were fine earlier, why not cancel if you were feeling that bad) and one faked a text message to go get one of their kids. Am I so horrible to be around? Why commit if you don't want to... *mutter* Before I get a trillion comments about this drivel, I will clarify further... I'm just feeling blah cause I'm sick, I know that this isn't how they feel, I just am feeling rather let down because I don't get to escape very often and when I do and you bail out on me, I just feel ..I dunno.... used isnt the word, but ..unworthy. I'm not negative, and I'd like to think I can provide a good laugh even AT my expense, and its pretty easy to get me to smile. *shrug* maybe its the drugs talking... come on Advil*, sock it to me.

* I'd take Aleve, but it messes with my blood pressure meds *sob*

And the winning keeps rolling in...

2006-11-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

....

3. The defendant (respondent) shall pay $500 in costs to the Plaintiff (applicant (me!));

Now I can put all of this behind me and get on with my life. Once I have my copy of the order, I will go get 5 copies of it notorized, get the original into my safety deposit box and then we're off to get a passport for the girls and off to the Bahamas! :) ok kidding, but its a good dream right?

I ordered blinds for my living room and kitchen today - the ones that are currently in place are about 100 yrs old, and metal and bent to shit from the cats being terrorized by strays, squirrels, magpies and sparrows. Since I've redone the living room in various shades of chocolate ice cream, I got blinds that are called "mink" in colour - sorta mocha coffee colour.
The kitchen is in shades of olive with spice coloured cabinets (its kinda Italian Bistro'ish), I got 'alabaster' - I couldn't find any olive coloured ones that even remotely matched. Grand total for 6 blinds including shipping - $74 and change. Not bad considering one of them is 60"x64".

Scott is taking a week off week after next and we're going to finish the trim in the living room, a small section of the kitchen needs a touch up, and I hope to be able to get rid of the book case in this living room and the extra dining room table. I'm also taking on the task of stripping the banisters - god help me. Hopefully just a good sanding will be enough cause I ain't going near poly-strippa again in this lifetime.

And my Breast Cancer Ribbon collected $101.68 in donations last night!!!! We took it into the foundation this morning and they gave her a Hush Puppy with the ribbon embroidered on its ear. I will post pictures. She wore my Rodeo Rose cowboy hat (and no, I don't know who this chick is.), her auntie's old prom dress and had a pretty pink gingham bag to collect her donations.

And on that note, I'm going to bed.

We won, we won!

2006-10-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

Not the lottery, but it sure does feel like it.

The judge granted me sole custody and day to day care and control. They considered Devin served since his counsel was served PRIOR to filing the Ceasing To Act order and considered him served in absentia.

I also was offered another job with Stats Canada starting in January. Which means that I won't have to worry about not getting EI from March 5th-April 30. Only in the month of May, I will be a little broke before going back to work. Then again, knowing how slow Stats Can is at paying, I'll probably still be receiving monies in May.

Child support was deposited into my account today.

All in all, I think I won the lottery today.

Spring forward, fall back...

2006-10-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what the real time is, however, I know that the clocks changed tonight.
I think we're now back to being 7 hrs behind GMT again.. they change at different times than we do, I just don't remember when they do.

And hold onto your chairs folks, he paid child support. Doesn't mean we found him, he just apparently randomly deposited money into the Maintenance Enforcement account. *faint*

Tomorrow/today, whatever.. I'm going to the Screamfest haunted houses provided that the weatherman is wrong. Its supposed to be -somethingsilly and snowing like a bugger. I didn't sign up for this. I'm moving to Bahamas since we started flying there regularly.

I re-pinked my hair today. How's that for exciting news?

I was perusing some of the blogs that I have linked and today, Dave scarred me for life. Well not quite, however his discussion of Christina Aguilera and Donald Duck made me shudder. But on a serious note, he was discussing newborn babies and breast feeding. Its been proven that if you place a newborn on a mother's stomach that they will worm their way up to the breast and begin to feed almost immediately. Its instinctive. Even bottle fed babies will go towards the breast for the first few weeks of life as it is intuitive. (But in the case of most men, they instinctively will go towards the breast for the rest of their lives.)

So in theory its 253am, but the clock says 153 and I still haven't figured out why I'm up when its EITHER of those times, so I'm going to bed. And if blogger still says "There was an ERROR." when I publish this, I'm going to throw something.

Dee's book!

2006-10-25T23:51:00.000-06:00

It is now for sale in Chapters - yahoo!

Sell it out people! :-)

I need new post titles

2006-10-24T00:26:00.000-06:00

The title "argh" has been well overused by me, however it is an appropriate title.

I know I made the decisions, and I know that I made my bed and I have to lie in it, and I know that I should have known better....

Why do people make promises that they can't keep? Do they do it make themselves feel better? "Oh look, I promised her that I'd step up" and you feel good about it? "Oh look, I promised I'd never not ...." double negatives buddy...

But, as predicted he's done a runner. Child support is over a week late and there is no sign of it at Maintenance Enforcement, he hasn't checked his voice mail in ages as it's full and has been since at least Thursday and he has received the message that I need to speak with him and he has refused to return my call. So soon, things will start to melt down and maybe just maybe he'll crash n burn.

So if I seem in a funk, I'm sorry - I'm stressed about money again, I'm exhausted because I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and I'm PMSy which isn't helping and I'm just plain ole in need of a vacation.

To keep busy I've taken a part time (and I mean very part time) job to hopefully assist with the shortfalls that him screwing me around has created. The unfortunate thing is, its now that I need the cash and I won't see most of it til end of Nov. Oh well, at least it is Christmas money.

Adobe means broken in Swahili

2006-10-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

I had a registered version of 6.0 Acrobat Standard... when I got my new harddrive in June, it wouldn't Ghost over for some weird reason. So I was awaiting a new install of 6... I didn't really need it as I'd taken to not reading non essential PDF files until the forms came for booking my holidays for next year at work. After an arguement or 5 with trying to transfer files thru the network just to read what I already knew, I downloaded the trial of 7.0. It did what I needed it to do until my Geek(tm) came home and could give me 6 again. When he installed 6 it somehow registered 7.0 or at least it appeared to. Then suddenly last week it ceased to work again. So I suspect it wasn't really registered and I had non functioning crippleware again.

So I uninstalled everything... 6, 7 and the 7.1 that I had tried to install as well as now we we were back at essential reading and a slow transfer on the network that annoyed me.

I reinstalled 6 after I deleted everything from all previous installs and trials including cleaning up the registry and there wasn't a trace of Swahili in this machine.

I install 6.0 standard again.

I open the first PDF - "Unable to open application, if this error persists, please contact the vendor." ARRRRRRRRRRRGH

So after 3 days of fighting with it and having had to use the SLOW transfer on the network, I tell the Geek that this isn't fucking working and I'm getting pissed off and it had better be a damn good reason why. There was a few more swear words in there but you get the gist.

Why wasn't it working? I don't know. He checked some of the properties and clicked a few things here and there and in 30 seconds it was working.
I just said "I don't want to know, but if it stops working when I sit down, you're going to sit here and read me what it is that these files say in perfect Bantu."

Its still working this morning. I'll keep you posted if it fails again.

PMSy

2006-10-22T20:07:00.000-06:00

I'm emotionally wrung out and totally PMSy. I have a sinus headache from crying and I hate being this emotional. Sorry babe, don'tcha just love girls and their tears?

Anyways, off to eat the ribs that I've made with a basmati rice and flake in front of the tv.

WhooHooooooooooooo

2006-10-20T17:12:00.000-06:00

If you can find Wilno and can find the Wilno Stn Inn and have free time on Sunday, go congratulate my sister and read the story of my Granny, a phenomenal woman, even when she eats paint.

I can see!

2006-10-20T13:40:00.000-06:00

Anyone who has ridden in the Dirty White Escort(tm) has sat in the passenger seat and wondered what is coming at them at 80 miles an hour. I've had comments and even people leaning over into MY space to see out the windshield. I've always profusely apologised and even go so far as to blame Ford for their windshield wiper arm manufacturing problems (they sieze on Escorts, Focus and Taurus)....until today.

I got sprayed with a concoction of snow, rain and mud on the way to driving the girls to the point where *I* couldn't see which resulted in a trip to Auto Value.

I am now the proud owner of $40 wiper blades that are guarenteed to remove all of the crap that Mother Nature (and trucks without mudguards) throws at you.

And for at least today - they have done just that and I can see.

As for the rest of the electrical and mechanical issues with my car... thats all down to time now.. when the damn thing causes an electrical short that will take out Calgary, I'll consider donating it to the Kidney Foundation for a tax receipt. Until then, I will keep up the wild hairdos that I get every time I open the door, I will yell "fuck off" at the stereo each time the cd player starts randomly and without justification cutting off the song I was just singing to on the radio, I will replace the headlights every 3 months without fail and I will take random guesses in the dark at how fast I'm going and how much gas I have left.
And when the transmission falls out of it, I'll call Ford and tell them for the upteenth time that there is a problem with it and tell them that this time they can come take the car back and give me something that works. It is not as though I've not mentioned this to you at least 3 times a year since I bought it. It is not as though you haven't inspected it 3 times a year since I bought it and told me nothing is wrong with. The KATHUNK that it makes when shifting at higher excelerations is all in my imagination. OF COURSE IT DOESN'T DO IT FOR YOU WHEN YOU ONLY DRIVE IT AROUND GLENDEER CIRCLE AT 40 KMS /HR DUMBASS.

Moving on shall we?

I've been to two toyparties in the past month or so... I've been shopping. However.. if I owned a business and was as slow with delivery as these have been, I'd NOT be owning a business for very long. Should these deliveries take place in the next few days and I don't post for awhile, don't be concerned - I've locked the bedroom door and have marked it with Do Not Disturb.

Yosemite Sam said it best...sufferin suckatash

2006-10-18T00:31:00.000-06:00

I had this nice long winded post about feelings and inadequacies and the like and somehow it got eaten by the imps that live in this computer and I've not the energy to put it all down again as it took quite a bit out of me emotionally... the gist was basically "ARGH" at the world and several people that apparently co-exist in it.

Shithead still hasn't been served as he refuses to return his lawyer's calls. Presumably because he owes money. His lawyer apparently can't be arsed to hire a process server because he doesn't want to incur any more costs that he isn't going to get back... Let me back track here a little.....

When you are finished with something legally - ie child support, unless you are pursuing something else, your lawyer files a Ceasing to Act with the courts and serves it upon opposing counsel so that if you are being pursued for something else, the opposing counsel must serve you directly. My lawyer (E) did that when we finished child support. His lawyer (H)did not. So when I filed for sole custody, it was a nice thing that we didn't have to get a process server ($$$), we could just serve H. So the paperwork went back and forth a couple of times between E and H because H refused to accept it because H wasn't his lawyer anymore... but under law, he had to accept it because H had not filed his Notice of Ceasing to Act.
We were to go to court today (the 17th), however, on Thursday at end of business (the day that any notices by opposing counsel/respondent were to be in), H calls E and says "We can't get ahold of the respondent, does your client know where he is?" Well it took me all of 15 mins to find him, why H can't do what I did... well its because it will cost him money. Because H didn't file the CTA, he will incur the process server fee. Which isn't my problem. And if dipshit was smart, he'd sue his lawyer once this was all finished.
My problem now is that they _still_ have not served him.
Which means that things are dragging out even LONGER than necessary. *whine*
I left a message for E hoping she'd let me know today where we're going from here, however no return call today. I'm hoping that we can serve his mother instead since she will be compelled to tell where he is or face jail time. Either way, I'm not paying for any of this crap, including all of the courier costs that were incurred because of H's ineptness with the law. E has been teaching him the ins and outs of family law since April!
And until the sole custody paperwork is done and finished, I can't complete my will.
See? Argh...

on that note, I'm going to bed... oh and one more thing.. 2 weeks and no comm... whats with that?

You know how it goes...

2006-10-12T00:38:00.000-06:00

...you start reading one blog that leads to another and then yet to another and suddenly you've lost 2 hrs...
In following said link from Duff, lead to Dooce (which I've not read in a long time), which lead to this post and then 300+ comments. Which leads me to my list in no particular order...

- no addicts (drugs or alcohol)
- not accepting of my children - sorry, we're a package deal
- the 'psycho ex-girlfriend'
- telling me the same goddamn freakin story 9 times about how your friend got their nickname and how you met because he was talking to his wife on the phone and you said "how's your wife and my children" - it was funny the first time, not so much the next 8 times.
- playing on my insecurities and using them to your advantage
- no job
- unstable life - unable to pay bills on time thus having disconnection notices or even having things disconnected, not answering the phone because of collection calls.....
- hating to travel - we are SO not going to get along - I work for an airline remember? I intend to see the world.
- religious fanatics - I don't believe and personally don't give a shit about religion - I only care when you try to shove it down my throat.
- laughing _at_ me - laugh with me damnit, I know I'm a klutz
- musical taste won't neccessarily be a dealbreaker, but it could present interesting road trip moments with the cds.
- must enjoy sports in some form or another and not get pissy when I want to watch MY sports.
- not get pissy if I want to drive sometimes - macho is fine to a certain level, but let me have some 'macho'ism' too.
- no backbone

Alot of commenters said things about cheaters - cheating is an indication to me that there is a lack of communication in the relationship, so a dealbreaker would be someone that is unable to communicate their needs/wants and have open and frank discussions.
One of the comments was:
"I once went out with a guy who casually mentioned that his ex-girlfriend was going into labor with his baby that night but he choose to go to the hockey game instead because they weren't together anymore. Ummmmm yeah. Dealbreaker."

And I didn't write it!

Wow, I have alot more dealbreakers than I thought I did...

Dr Birch

2006-10-09T01:03:00.000-06:00

I've noticed as of late that there are alot of people searching for info about Dr Birch and winding up here and I didn't write a whole lot about him, however, given that when I search for him, not much comes up either, I thought I'd write a little more extensively.

When I was 31 wks, 3 days, the day Presleigh was born, I was transferred from Rockyview General Hospital from the care of Dr Birch's wife (a nurse), to Foothills Medical Centre, to the care of Dr Birch. He met the ambulance crew and I in an ultrasound room, and set me up on monitors and left me be to get some good 'tapes' of Presleigh. Around 6 pm, he came in and started discussing what he was seeing on the tapes, talked with my mum and I for quite some time, said "I'll be right back" and came back 15 mins later with a team of 4 doctors and made the decision that Presleigh was to be delivered tonight and had each doctor discuss risks and complications with regards to aestetic, Presleigh, c-sections and everything... I might also add he's kinda cute, but when you're stressed out and can't see straight thru the tears, I'm sure anyone is cute ;-)

He did not perform the c-section, it was a different doctor who's name for the life of me is not coming to my mind - I just know he was the one that bruised the hell out of my stomach.

So for anyone searching about Dr Birch, he was fantastic with me for the duration I was in his care and I'm grateful that he and his team did an amazing job and ensured that my bundle of joy arrived safe.

Foothills Medical Centre is the only hospital in Southern Alberta that delivers babies prior to 32 weeks and they have an amazing NICU/SCN. I've been invited to be on the Parents Partnership Committee for the Foothills NICU and I'm looking forward to being involved in it.
I've had a digital camera to donate to the committee since Mother's Day but welcome to my crazy summer of getting it there, however, the first committee meeting is Tuesday evening, so it will be coming with me.

Anyways, thats my two cents about Dr C Birch.

A new way audio blog

2006-10-05T17:05:00.000-06:00

Gabcast! today's babble #1

Busy day...

2006-10-04T19:12:00.000-06:00

Today Presleigh had her appointment with the neurologist. Dr B was great. She agrees that she's quite delayed in her gross motorskills but no worries about CP at this point. The new Children's Hospital just opened last week and there are still some computer issues and they aren't able to access everything just yet, so she couldn't read her previous MRI but we're to continue with OT and PT for at least 6 months to get her rolling over and sitting. She has great posture and strooooooong legs, but the muscle tone in her arms is what is stopping her from rolling which is a neurological issue rather than a muscoskeletal issue.
At this point, if the fact that the anestesiologist cancelling her first MRI has caused us to be delayed in getting her assistance, we could end up with a nice hefty lawsuit as he cancelled it against the wishes of 4 doctors and he isn't qualified to make that call. However, Dr B and I both agree that if it is indeed gone, its possible that it caused neurological damage while it was present (the spot that was on the right side of her brain floating in null space) I'll keep ya posted on that.

There has been silence on this end from dipshit, which has been very pleasant, but we're guessing that his lawyer has told him to NOT call me full stop and that if he does, he will only make things worse. At least thats our guess... which is true - it will make things worse for himself.

I have started crocheting hats... anyone need a toque for the winter? I've always hated making hats because I hadn't found a pattern that made sense til now. Now they're as easy as pie.

On the way home from Children's, I stopped in to pick up the pieces that the girls made when we painted pottery and finish my piece. However, finishing my peice only took 20 mins, so I started more - damnit ..I hate feeding this addiction ;-)

Rachel

2006-10-03T00:47:00.000-06:00

I'm really proud of her. She has decided that for Hallowe'en, she is going to dress up as a Breast Cancer ribbon and collect for the Breast Cancer Foundation. She wants to go out for Hallowe'en, but I've told her no more trick 'r treating as she's getting too old. She wants to go out with us, so this is what she came up with. We are going to make a sandwich board of a ribbon for her to wear and I just finished crocheting her a pink touque and she'll wear a pink sweater and white pants.

I wasn't sure if it was 'legal' for her to collect without something official from them, so I called them to ask if we had to do anything with them. They said as long as she doesn't collect any single donation over $20 (they don't give tax receipts for less than that) or if there is a donation of more than $20, that the donor understands there are no receipts given. So she's good to go.

I'm going to keep her home from school the morning of the 1st of Nov so she can go into the foundation in her costume and turn in her collection.

I couldn't be prouder.

Not much going on here..

2006-09-29T01:31:00.000-06:00

It's pretty quiet on the home front. Devin's lawyer was served on Monday and there has been absolutely nothing from him - its actually been a bit of a surprise.

I forgot to post that there apparently wasn't enough evidence for a restraining order, so I have been vigilant with doors locked at all times, I screen all calls.. which has probably attributed to the migraine that I have been living with for 3 days. The Aleve takes the edge off and I think "ah relief..." and then it comes creeping back. Im sure it has to do with the muscles in my neck and upper back being tied in knots.

Presleigh has learnt how to spin herself in her crib - I put her in with her head to the right, and she does a 270 degree turn and has toys from the bottom of her crib with her... I found her this morning with her hippo and a rabbit... the hippo was bigger than she was when she was born.

Tomorrow, I'm going back to my pink hair. I miss it. I considered the blue again, but Cass doesn't have the right blue and I'm not quite sure I want the blue haired old lady blue that she does have. So I'm going back to the electric pink. I had stopped with the wild colours when I got pregnant because I figured that it was going to hold some predjudice against me in the hospital and I wanted sane.. (like I was gonna get that in this lifetime, but this was something I could control *laugh*).

Roit, its 130am and I was looking for a shoe and lost the plot...

My girls

2006-09-24T00:32:00.000-06:00

Today, Sunday (gawd its after midnight already, I need my bed), we are dedicating Presleigh's tree at the Birthplace Forest. I should hopefully have pics and video updated on her blog soonish for that.

The girls are growing so much. Rachel has a boyfriend and apparently they've been dating since June!!!! I found out today when his mom called to ask if Rach was allowed to go to a movie with him! Us moms are always last to know...I feel old now.
Kindergarten... junior high... diapers... omg

Hinder...

2006-09-24T00:24:00.000-06:00

This damn song is _stuck_ - much worse than Pink's Who Knew. **

Honey why are you calling me so late
It’s kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can’t be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And yes I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name I
t sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel (And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

I searched YouTube for the offical video, but all I found was live shit - HinderOnline has the real video - this guy, Austin - is whacked. He looks like he is trying to emulate a cross between Steve Tyler and Mick Jagger and failing miserably....

**I blame Duff for this post and it being stuck.

I guess I should clarify....

2006-09-18T01:39:00.000-06:00

My post about why I was feeling trampled has raised several comments and questions... Most of it was a culmination of all of the crap that has been going on as of late and I truly have tried to not burden people with it because it truly is just a bunch of crap.

I wasn't going to post this because it is taking some time to get sorted, however I will to just explain. Last weekend Devin threatened me twice and I had to take out a retraining order to protect my family and myself. The police were freakin useless and because I didn't manage to get the threats on tape (remember, the tape ran out), they refused to take a report or do anything about other than cause a commotion on my street when they showed up with not one, but two cars. They refused to accept that previously he had threatened me with a knife as I didn't report it then (hindsight is 20/20). So that has been bothering me quite a bit because it took several days to get it sorted out with my lawyer and the courts and I felt pretty vulnerable.

Add to it, my father is being a shit. He has received his inheritance from my Granny and has decided he is going to buy himself a little truck. Thats great, wonderful.. have at 'er. He has also given my sister 10 grand to get her book published (she has the final edit copy in her hands and should be out by Christmas!). I don't begrudge him any of this, its his money. However, I really could use either some money to do some serious work on my car, or let me have his Honda that he has. Its a 2000 Civic and has just shy of 150,000kms on it and its a nice 4 door car. So when he said that he was looking to get himself a truck, I said "That'd be cool, then I could fly out and visit you for a few days and drive the Honda back to Calgary. ha ha" He went off on some tangent about helping a perfect stranger who lives somewhere in Toronto that he has apparently fallen in love with but has never met, deserves the car more than I do.
Then other family members promising things and then they fail to do them...

I'm worried about Presleigh and that things aren't going to be good news when we go see the OT Therapist after Thanksgiving.

I'm worried about my brother... he cut his foot playing football with his kids and got an E Coli infection that he is on his third round of antibiotics with a PIC IV and constant antibiotics and they can't kill the infection and if it doesn't get better with this round, they may have to amputate some toes...

Then being worried about my cat. It had to be done. He was sick and old and had no teeth and it was the kindest thing to do... but the hardest.

And last but not least, someone I love..and have for a very long time... is going through some shit that I can't help them with... things that I guess that I can't comprehend, but I am trying to be as understanding as I can... we all know patience isn't one of the virtues I possess, but I'm trying.

So hence the post... now you know.

Rest In Peas Mr McCoy

2006-09-17T22:19:00.000-06:00

I had to put my kittycat, McCoy down yesterday. We adopted him from the SPCA 12 yrs ago. He was going to be put down the day after we saw him if he wasn't adopted as he was an older cat and he was crippled. He had a sign on his cage that said "I'm a love bug". He was huge and furry and when we took him out of the cage, he wrapped himself around my neck and started purring. He stayed there for two days after we brought him home. He'd been abandoned for over a month in a vacant apartment and was starved for attention.
When we adopted him, the vet said he was between 8 and 10 yrs old, so if you split the difference, he was 21 yrs old! He had lost most of his teeth in recent months and he was vomitting everywhere and losing weight...

Rest In Peas

I wonder..

2006-09-16T00:43:00.000-06:00

...what it is that I do or don't do that gives off the vibe that it is ok to walk all over me? Am I not firm enough when I say No, I'm sorry I can't/won't/shouldn't? Or is it that I don't say no enough? Am I just too nice?

I've really tried in recent months to not be a doormat.

I thought that I was clear. I thought that I said things clearly, concisely, and didn't leave room for error in anything.

Why do I deserve to be treated with anything less than respect and honesty and integrity?

Why do I always have to be last?

2006-09-15T11:52:00.000-06:00

This is just...wow

This chick has talent

2006-09-11T09:08:00.000-06:00

This just has to be someone else's doing...

Video quality isn't the best.. this has been stuck for a couple of weeks now..

Fucking typical

2006-09-10T01:48:00.000-06:00

You know, I spent 4 hours last night transcribing the tapes and getting bothered by it and I spent today just decompressing. Until 1005pm.

Once again he calls and completely disrupts my life. He screamed and carried on again and I said to him several times "Did I not say in my last message that if you're going to call and scream at me to not call here? I don't do this to you, so enough!"

Unfortunately my tapes were in complete disarray from last nights transcription so I just grabbed a tape and started recording but unfortunately, there wasn't much left on the tape so I didn't get it all... but the general gist was that he doesn't accept that her prematurity is going to follow her until she catches up - he won't listen to that, and he thinks that I'm a horrible mother and he's now going to call Social Services on me because I'm not forcing her to sit up on her own or roll over. *sigh*

Everyone keeps telling me that I should just let his calls go to voice mail, however, he has the right to ask about her - and yeah I have the right to hang up. Which is why I told him on the third time that if he continued to call me names and be ignorant and swearing that the conversation was going to end as we were both adults and it wasn't neccessary behaviour.

Oh yes he was drunk. Very.

And he quit his job two weeks ago. He starts a new job Monday. So now all I will hear is the whinging about how he can't catch up because he was out pays etc.. but thats Devin for ya.
He said he wished me dead. Great. I can't wait for this all to be done.

Busier than a whore on a payday weekend...

2006-09-09T01:16:00.000-06:00

Presleigh's appointments aside, I had an appointment with my lawyer today that took nearly 2 months to finally get sorted to happen. In all likelyhood, he will assume that I reacted to his screaming phone call and that all that is about to happen is as a result of that - however, its been in the works since July - since the day he refused to give me permission to go away to the States for holidays. Everything was adjourned from today, as we expected it to be, as they've had zero prep time (early bird gets the worm again!) and hopefully in late September things will be ironed out on paper and I can get on with living my life. I work for an airline and get amazing discounts to travel all over the world, and I can't even get to Montana by car because he's holding us hostage.

I discovered today that I am going to need to do a will because if I have nothing written out, he is considered guardian as he has been declared a parent and he would have to do absolutely nothing to ensure any visitation is done with my parents or any one else in my family. So in discussion with my mom, I will appoint her guardian and I will discuss with my sister that if she will become guardian should my mom not be physically capable (ie due to age or she passes before me). I thought about what happens if its 15 years from now, Rach will be 28 - would she want to assume guardianship? But thats alot of responsibility to put onto Rach and ask of her now when she's not capable of making an adult decision. So I will talk it out with my sister and ask that if Rach wants to assume that guardianship, that my sister not stand in her way but that the decision would ultimately be Dee's.
As for Rach, Scott obviously would be her guardian and if he and I pass at the same time or if he predeceases me, again my mom and my sister.
In the cases of sole custody, the will passes down whatever rights I have over to the next guardian.
How morbid can I make a post?

Here, let me try...

For my documentation, I spent 4 hours today going through the recorded conversations with Devin that I have as I was asked to transcribe them. Ya know, I haven't had any stress with his calls as of late because I've been able to just laugh most of the time however, they got me down today. To listen to him say things like "Nope, don't want to see her, I'm done, so no fuck you" and "you're playing stupid assed games" and the best one of all "fuck you asswipe" its like reliving it all over again. I'd have preferred to just hand over the tapes and let someone else listen to the crap.

I just hope this is all over with before the year's end so I can just move along and put it all behind me.

That's what kind of day it's been...

Stats

2006-09-08T00:43:00.000-06:00

Since posting the lyrics (without permission of course) to the Pink song, Who Knew (which is once again stuck in my head), my stat counter has gone through the roof with people searching for various bits of the lyrics...curiousity always gets the better of me, so I often click to see where my blog shows up in the list based on their word pattern search - I'm always amazed to see that its somewhere in the top 10-15 on google. I must be doing something right.

That is all nice n peachy... here's my whinge of the day since that I don't want to post whinging on Presleigh's blog.

We went to the doctor today after we've had several sessions of physio for her head/neck and the PT reported back to the doctor (which I knew he was going to do) that he recommends we be seen by a neurologist as he'd like us to rule out Cerebral Palsy. CP is now judged in 5 stages, and whilst Presleigh's MRI was clear of anything as far as major CP (stages 2-5) is concerned, there is a possibility of some muscular issues. Her right arm is impossible to get her to bend it at the elbow which makes dressing her a chore and feeding her interesting as she will stick her elbow into me rather than bend it. Her doctor agreed today that she should be seen as well as getting her in for Occupational Therapy at Children's because if the OT figures she needs to be seen by neurology sooner, they can push for it and make it happen quicker. The wait time for a neurology appointment is between a year to 18 months *sigh*.

We also appear to have some feeding issues. She doesn't seem to be at all interested on what is on the spoon. She'll play with the empty spoon, she'll yank the bowl out of my hands, and she's quite content to do anything but eat. She isn't strong enough to sit up on her own yet, so the high chair is out - the exersaucer gives her the support, but I don't want her to associate it with playing... car seat - nope, and the bouncy chair doesn't give her enough back support and she's too big for her swing.

I've seen several pictures of the Bumbo seat on several blogs, but seeing Kaitlyn in hers yesterday made me decide that maybe we ought to go that route. So tomorrow I'm off in search of the Bumbo seat at Bo Bebe. I also need some more hangers as Misses Presleigh's closet is going to burst at the seams and she still has more clothes to hang up. For the record, I love the presents, but no more clothes for now. :-)

Ok, whinge over...

RIP

2006-09-04T00:31:00.000-06:00

I was saddened about the passing of Steve 'The Crocodile Hunter' Irwin. He may have been rather crazy with the things he did with wild animals, however, he has contributed many a science lesson to this house. Its rumoured that a sting ray barb pierced his chest while he was filming underwater near Port Douglas, Australia.

2006-09-01T23:20:00.000-06:00

Look, I found the Corrs!

Barbie update...

2006-08-31T00:40:00.000-06:00

Further to my previous post that linked to Lee's post about Barbie... apparently there is an uproar about this stinky pooch and his poops. In doing some research into this uproar (which I found amusing), I discovered that indeed they introduced Midge, the pregnant Barbie previously which caused an equal uproar. I think they'll have Rehab Barbie soon (along with my previous prediction of Bomb Squad Barbie).

Trying an email post

2006-08-30T02:31:00.000-06:00

I tried an audio post (as I posted down there *points*) which failed.. so
let's see how unsuccessful I can be emailing a post.

Wish me luck!
--
This isn't life in the fast lane, it is life in oncoming traffic.

hrm

2006-08-30T01:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I did an audio blog with AudioBlogger... be damned if I know where it is... oh well someone has a random blathering from me somewhere in the netherworld.

My horoscope

2006-08-29T16:05:00.000-06:00

My horoscope today went something like this..."You may think you know what's going on but don't count on it. You may have to make some last minute changes to accommodate the needs of others. A work-related incident might cause some grief, especially if you try to cover things up."
And my Biodex was 3 - which is negtive and it said "Press delete on your computer." I take that to mean I should have just stayed in bed. Which became evident when I was trying to finish up the last of the Census shit before Thursday and the stoooooooopid construction crew working on the intersection at McKnight and 68th St hit a gas main and I had to be evacuated out of the area after just 90 mins after starting. I surrender.

Monday night excitement on Tararidge Dr

2006-08-29T03:36:00.000-06:00

So as I'm sitting here at about half past 12 in the morning checking email and getting ready to head to bed, the house is quiet....

BANG

.... First thought, gun shot outside my house. Do I hide? No, I throw on the outside light and run outside like an idiot. I arrive outside just in time to witness some crazy person backing up their car after they've slammed into a parked car and pushed that car an entire car length and shoved into the parked car in front of it, which in turn slams into the next parked car in front of it.... and she's trying to leave the scene. She made it about 10 cars up the street before myself and another neighbour got to her and yanked open the car doors and grabbed the keys.

I'm covered in airbag dust/gas and my skin is burnt from it. And then I had to wake Scott to get his keys to move his car as he was in the way for the tow trucks. Envisioning tomorrow morning's conversation with him will go something similar to "What did you need my keys for? Is my car ok? What?"

If she had swerved left instead of right to avoid the "cat" she claims ran in front of her, she'd have smoked my car, Scott's car and the Suburban on our side of the street. Took the cops over an hr to get to us (good thing no one was hurt) and its now 330am and we're all finally going to bed after giving statements. Our guess based on the handful of tickets she had, she got Undue Care and Attention, Reckless, Leaving The Scene and possibly a speeding ticket as there is no way someone doing 50km/hr could have ploughed into a car and moved it as far as she did. Her brother and her boyfriend showed up and tried to buy everyone off before hand, however the cops were mentioned, they dropped it. She totalled 4 cars. The Paseo is a complete write off, the Buick probably will be written off as the car is only worth 3 grand and the bumper and fender are both severely damaged and the Honda Accord that the Buick slammed into had its emergency brake on (which did prevent it from being launched into the minivan in front of it) which will have caused axle damage as well as the bumper is crushed. Her Honda's front end is gone.

There were a couple of points of entertainment in the whole thing... the neighbours got to know each other well... I met the whore across the street who proceeded to tell me as she witnessed the accident, she and her bf were texting each other and the message she received 10 seconds before the accident was "I'm horny, I'll be there in about a half hr." Do you really tell your neighbours that at 1am when you're all sober on a Monday night??? I also met the peroxide blond who's daughter owns the Paseo, and I must say, bitch is being nice.
I think I was one of the few sane rational people on the street at 1am.

I blame this one on Lori

2006-08-28T00:23:00.000-06:00

This is horrible... but something just reminded me of it and I had to post it...

"On a recent visit to our veterinarian to get shots for our cat I found this recipe on the waiting room bulletin board. After recovering from hysterical laughter, I obtained a copy from the office staff so that my wife could make it, which she refused to do. I took it to work and gave the recipe to a lady at work who loves cats. The pictures below show the results of her work. It doesn't look very nice, but it's actually quite
tasty, so I decided to pass it along.

CAKE INGREDIENTS:
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food colouring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy! "

I can honestly say, I don't think I'd eat this, even if I _knew_.

Tidying....

2006-08-28T00:13:00.000-06:00

Some may have noticed that I've tidied up around here... hopefully that will spill over into reality and I can stop living in what appears to be a construction zone... ANYWAYS... if you've been missed on the new and improved blogroll, lemme know because I deleted my links and if I missed its because I missed clicking to add you before I deleted...oh and you may have noticed my colour bar came back too... have I mentioned lately that blogger pisses me off?

Wtf?

2006-08-27T22:26:00.000-06:00

I was over reading this and I have a couple of questions of Mattel. Do you have to buy more 'poop' refills for the dog? Or do they have to be put back "in" the dog in order to continue this feature of the dog? How many poops does the dog hold? And how many biscuits can you give the dog? And do you have to take the biscuits out of the dog or somehow do they magically turn into the poop? I'm assuming that the biscuits turn into the poop but how? and do you throw the poop away and buy biscuits? I'm confused. I checked out the Mattel site to see what they had to say, but there is nothing more there to answer my questions... Perhaps I ought to pose them some questions. Maybe they serve jelly too. I'll ask them too.

15 mins later .....

I have tried to find a way to contact Mattel via email - they don't have such an animal. I seem to recall going through the same issue when I purchased a second hand baby swing and it didn't come with instructions (I couldn't find the battery pack!) and it took me ages to get anywhere on the website and I was ready to kill by the time I reached someone on their toll free number. Oh well, I'm sure that pretty soon you'll be able to get Bomb Squad Barbie and she will rid Mattel of any jelly.

Adventures in Censusland...

2006-08-24T17:28:00.000-06:00

I will have to reserve names/addresses/location due to confidentiality.... HOWEVER, I can tell you just a few things that will make you laugh at me....

I walk up to this house to do a followup call regarding an incomplete census. Sitting on a chair on the side deck is a rather large Native 'gentleman' and his Slurpee. I tell him I'm with feds regarding the census and that we have not received a copy from this house yet and it is mandatory under law and we need to complete it. He tries to argue with me that the lady that owns the house isn't there, I asked if he lived there, he said yes. I said that was fine, it is the people in the house that is what we need a count of, it is irrelevant who it is that completes it. So I start to fill it out - he doesn't know his last name. We're off to a great start. Then I start to ask about the names of the other people (which is now at a total of 10 ppl), he has no idea. I figure that I can at least get enough information to at least get one full person completed and put unknown for the rest - then at least its completed, when all of a sudden, 4 rather large males enter the deck from the garage, their eyes the size of saucers. They've been in the garage doing something that isn't probably legal, but I can't do anything about it. I'm there to gather information and leave. Second person gives me his name and birthday, and so on... then I ask if anyone has been married, divorced etc... and second person pipes up with "Well, we got the licence a couple of times, but I don't remember actually going through with it every time because we kept fornicating and having children and my first wife wasn't into bigamy." I shit you not, that is exactly what he said. I can see the swiss cheese that was his brain starting to ooze out his ears when I mentioned that this was mandatory and he figured he'd just make shit up to see how I'd react. Then the other two stood up and that was my cue to get the hell out of dodge. They watched me as I went to a couple more houses near theirs and then watched as I went to my car. I was seriously creeped out.

Then I go to a house... nice elderly gentleman answers the door, naked. Not Half-Nekkid Thursday nekkid, naked. He apologises and says he will be right back and comes back wearing underwear... either way, it was a frightening experience.

My last adventure was a good adventure. A very nice older man answers the door and we have a conversation at the door and he invites me into the foyer as the wind was blowing my papers everywhere and made it impossible. Keeping a foot at the door, I cautiously entered but as it turns out, he was a very sweet man. We talked for over an hour. He'd lost his wife a couple of years before, and he was former RAF during WWII and we had a great conversation. He was only one of many nice people I've met on my adventures, however, they are few and far between.

** on a side note, I'd like to know where my other blogger toolbar went with the font stuff and colours *ponders in black*

I stole this from Cricket

2006-08-22T23:34:00.000-06:00

Screamers

2006-08-20T20:15:00.000-06:00

The phone rings at 605pm... there is a screaming voice at the other end calling me names and saying I'm a bad bad person... and that I should just fuck off... and then a click.

I guess that means he isn't going to the supervised visit on Tuesday. So I called back and left a voice mail that said that if he intends to continue to scream at me, to never ever call here again.

Apology

2006-08-17T23:48:00.000-06:00

I need to apologise to you because you had to 'witness' the conversation that had me in tears after all was said and done. He fustrated me, angered me and tried to push the buttons. At least I didn't come undone until after he'd hung up on me. But as you said, at least this time he asked about her which is a first.

We talked earlier about abuse and how its what you know and you know how to deal with it and its 'easier' to deal with it when you know how to react and how to handle it. He may not have beaten me physically, but emotionally, he trod me down and I wasn't strong enough then to get out even after I vowed I would. It was easier to go back and be there. We've talked about lonely and we've talked about ..well alot of things... it was easier to be there than to be lonely, but I only realized too late that I was still lonely.

I thank you again for supporting me and giving me a hug when I needed it and for helping me even from that far away.

381

As a side note to this, after you fell onto the laminate in deep slumber, I spoke to my mom who has agreed to supervise a visit on Tuesday evening. So I left a voice mail "As follow-up to the previous conversation, I have arranged for a supervised visit that I will NOT be present at, next Tuesday, the 22nd, from 630-830pm at XXX Hxxxxxxx Xxxxx Xx NW. If you are not going to be there or need to cancel, I require 2 hrs notification, so again, next Tuesday from 630-830pm at XXX Hxxxxxxx Xxxxxx Xx NW and I will NOT be present and I require 2 hrs notification for cancellation." Odds are on that he won't show, but we'll see. I'm not holding my breath, in fact, I intend to be more than likely flaked out on my couch.

2006-08-16T23:29:00.000-06:00

For my sistah, Cricket

Correction

2006-08-14T14:55:00.000-06:00

In fact, Presleigh woke up at 210am... mom walked and cuddled and walked til 230... death to momma: 243am.

Grumpy

2006-08-14T01:27:00.000-06:00

Misses Presleigh has been Misses Grumpy Pants the past two nights. She is bound and determined not to go to sleep...ever. We started this at 10pm...its after 1 now and we're still screeching our head off - I have cuddled, cajoled, wiggled, walked, rocked, shhhhhh'd, tried bottle, tried pacifer, tried the car and I'm now almost asleep and the second shift of walking, cuddling, cajoling, wiggling, rocking crew has taken over to assist (more because he needs sleep and can't sleep with her crying). I strongly suspect she's hungry but she's got herself so worked up that she's choking on it and pushes it away.

Time of death to momma: 12:43am
Time of sleep for Presleigh: 1:23am
Time of wake up... god I hope its going to be after 10am...

two years

2006-08-12T21:32:00.000-06:00

Well crap... I missed the two year birthday of my blog...

Happy Birthday to me.

Tagged again..

2006-08-11T23:19:00.000-06:00

Penny tagged me so I complied..

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)

Brandy Tararidge (did we have the same dog Penny?)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)

Mary-Helen Jellybean

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)

K Mar (ok I can just hear the Blue Light Special jokes on this)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)

Burgundy Cat

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)

Marla Ottawa

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.).

Lavkr Huwil

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (your favorite color, favorite drink)

Burgundy Smirinoff

I tag Cricket.